


Scholarship

by GobsmackApplejack



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Community: twd_kinkmeme, F/M, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Andrea Harrison/Shane Walsh, Minor Rick Grimes/Shane Walsh, mentions of other pairings, of non Main Character, slow build relationship, so I didn't include it in the Archive Warning, thwarted pretty early
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 62,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2400578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GobsmackApplejack/pseuds/GobsmackApplejack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl is the first in his family to go to college.  His assigned roommate is Glenn.  Glenn, with the bright smile, making friends wherever he goes.  Daryl finds himself really...attracted, but is just not ready to come out of the closet.  How will Daryl survive his first year of college while trying to deal with studies, work, and a hot roommate who walks around in his underwear all the time? AU no ZA<br/>From the <a href="http://twd_kinkmeme.livejournal.com/1353.html?thread=514121#t514121">kinkmeme</a><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Walking Dead and its characters are not mine.  
> Warning: Mature topics, attempted NON-CON (see below), racism, racial slurs, homophobia, swearing, masturbation, eventual smut I think, underage drinking, smoking, illegal parking...stuff like that. Additional warnings in each chapter.  
> I removed the archive warning for rape/non-con because it really is _attempted_ non-con and mention of attempted non-con of non-main characters.

When Daryl arrives at his dorm, the room is already half full. Really, half full. One bed is made with pillows that match the comforter. There’s a pretty good sized clock slash docking station slash stereo on a dresser and a mini fridge on the floor in between the two sets of furniture. A thin laptop sits on one of the desks and even though they haven’t signed up for classes, one bookshelf is half full with binders and books. Even a skateboard and bat are just visible under the bed. Daryl slings his duffel and backpack onto the other bed, and looks around his own empty side.

He knew he’d be poorer than the other students. He has a scholarship and wouldn’t otherwise have been able to afford college - at least not a four year college and living in the dorms, and books and food. His scholarship covers all these things, but he has to maintain a 3.0 grade point and, of course, stay out of trouble. He doesn’t think that will be a problem, especially since Merle is locked up. All his scrapes seem to happen because of Merle. Not that his brother looks to get him into trouble, but trouble always seems to find them whenever they're together.

He is about to unpack when an Asian kid in a baseball cap and shirt walks in. He’s the same height as Daryl, but still just a kid, all wide eyed and smooth skinned.

“Oh, hey! You’re here! I hope you don’t mind, I took this side of the room. We can move things around if you want. Oh yeah!…I’m Glenn.”

His new roommate extends his hand. Glenn Rhee, Daryl thinks. He saw the name tag on the door when he came in. Didn’t figure that was a chink name. Glenn frowns and retracts his hand. He must have said that out loud.

“Listen, that kind of shit may fly in Bumfuck or wherever you’re from, but this is Atlanta so, try to at least hide your redneck tendencies while you’re here.”

Daryl is angry at the dressing down from this kid, who just called him a hick. Hell, he knows he’s from the sticks. It’s not like he meant anything by it. He glares but still takes the time to notice that Glenn’s face is flushed red and is kind of...well, he looks good angry, Daryl thinks. He sees the kid’s chest rise and fall as he takes a couple of deep breaths and then his face loses the hard line.

“So, I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, and maybe we can start off on a better foot than this. We have a whole year to try and kill each other, right?” Glenn chuckles, but it sounds humorless.

Daryl shrugs. “Whatever, Chinaman.”

“Fuck!” Glenn shouts, throwing up his arms. He stomps out of the room and slams the door.

Daryl feels kind of bad. There weren’t any Asian people in his town growing up and having Merle around, well, he picked up a few choice words he’s realizing. He pulls a crumpled paper out of his pocket reads it, then glances around. Glenn’s clock tells him that he’s going to be late for the dorm orientation.

He opens his duffle and pulls out a rough looking blanket, a plain white sheet and a lumpy pillow. These he leaves on the bed and takes the duffel to the dresser on his side. He pulls an armful of clothes out, deposits it in one drawer, takes another armful and puts it in another. A plastic grocery bag full of toiletries he puts into the top drawer. A towel is the last thing to come out of his bag and he looks around for where to put it. He decides on the closet and luckily finds a couple of hooks on each side. There are several jackets in there hung neatly on hangers so he takes the opposite side and drapes his towel over a hook. Then he drops the backpack and empty duffel in the closet and goes to find the common room.

The large room with the ping pong and pool tables is full of people so he stands in the archway. He notices Glenn sitting on the floor a few feet in front of him next to a blond girl with long hair. He inches closer and can hear them talking. Glenn’s talking about his day. Apparently he lives in Atlanta so he and his parents drove to campus early, unpacked, went shopping, had lunch, walked around campus and had just left, probably about the time that Daryl arrived.

“Ugh. So my roommate wins the contest for ‘Most Ignorant Fuckwad’. He’s already called me a chink and Chinaman. Can you even…?!” He shakes his head. The blond girl sitting next to Glenn makes a sound of sympathy. Daryl inches back out through the doorway just in time as he hears blondie say “Is he here? What’s he look like?”

Daryl shuffles around the hallway. He kind of wants to leave, but knows he has to make an effort to learn all this new stuff. His scholarship sort of depends on it and he doesn’t want to screw that up already. So he stays, but only close enough to barely see into the room. They introduce the RAs, a girl named Carol with kind eyes and very short hair, and a guy named Shane who is super built. Dale Horvath is the RF and a professor of history. Daryl figures he’ll have him for some classes or maybe as an adviser if he has an area of focus Daryl is interested in. They make other general announcements, like quiet hours, the alcohol policy, dorm trips, the dorm budget, elections, and the like. Mostly stuff Daryl isn't concerned about anyway.

Once the meeting is over, the students start talking and hanging out. Some start playing ping pong or pool, some he overhears are going to play Quiddich at some field. Whatever that is. Daryl looks at his schedule again, pulls another paper – a map – from his pocket and heads out. He’s to report to the dining hall for his work study program. Sure, his tuition, room, board and books were covered, but he needed something for actual living expenses. Part of him wishes he could sell his meal plan and just hunt for his food, but he knows that isn’t actually an option. There probably isn’t any worthwhile hunting for at least an hours travel away from campus anyway.

The next time Daryl sees Glenn, the kid is in line for food and Daryl is serving. When it’s his turn, Glenn stands with his tray looking at Daryl but doesn’t say anything. He’s supposed to say if he wants the meatloaf or pasta. Daryl quirks an eyebrow, but Glenn keeps quiet. Some kids behind him start making noise about the hold up, but blondie shushes them.

“’M sorry, kid,” Daryl mumbles to the meatloaf. He looks up and Glenn is smiling.

“It’s okay. Don’t let it happen again. I’ll take the meatloaf.” His smile grows even bigger.

Something clenches in Daryl’s chest at that, that smile, so he busies himself with serving up the food. Glenn is long gone when his insides feel like they’re back to normal. He realizes he’s been thinking about Glenn this whole time and it’s a wonder he’s been getting the food orders right, seeing as how he can’t even remember anyone coming through after Glenn.

Aw fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

Glenn is totally excited when he sees Daryl. Daryl Dixon. The name is fitting because it’s so sexy. Did he just think the word ‘sexy?’ Weird. But then Daryl opens his mouth and Glenn can’t believe what comes out of it and, really? He has to live with this asshole for the entire year? Maybe he can get a roommate switch. At the very least, he should stop imagining what Daryl would look like naked. Well, at least he got him to apologize, right?

“Oh my god, he is so hot! Too bad he’s such a dick!” Amy gushes as they get through the food line.

“I can’t even see it anymore. I mean, yeah, I did at first, but just…his racism blinded me to his arms – I mean charms! Erghm.”

Amy chortles and finds them a table where they sit.

 

After dinner they go back to Glenn’s room. Amy sits on the bed and looks around. “Where’s his stuff?”

Glenn shrugs. “He got here right before orientation. Maybe he hasn’t had time to bring it in?”

Amy picks up the course catalog and flips through it, stretching out on the bed. There’s a knock on the open door. A rugged looking guy with short dark hair and blue eyes leans in.

“I heard ya’ll were starting up a baseball team here?”

“RICK!”

“Glenn, man. What’s up?” The guys hug as Amy sits up.

“Amy, this is my best friend from high school, Rick Grimes. Rick, this is Amy, my new, uh, fruit fly.”

“Amy.” Rick raises his hand and dips his head down like he’s tipping a hat. Amy looks up at him with wide eyes.

“Hey,” she breathes.

Glenn clears his throat. “Yeah, don’t bother. You’re not his type.”

“Glenn!” she slaps him on the chest. Rick chuckles and sits on the bed, scooting back towards the wall.

“So, what’r you kids planning for tonight? Want to find some parties?”

“Yeah, parties, okay. So, when’d you get here?”

“Just before lunch. You?”

“This morning…you know my parents. How’s your roommate situation?”

“Not bad. Guy named Edwin - Ed Jenner. Pre-med. He has a girlfriend here he’s hanging with. Otherwise I’d a brought him.”

“Glenn has a racist for a roommate.” Amy volunteers.

“What?!” Rick looks at Glenn horrified.

“Yeah, called him a chink and China-man!” She looks at Glenn and now she looks pretty horrified too. “Is that bad? Am I allowed to say that if I’m repeating what somebody else said?”

“Pfffft. Whatever. Let’s just…let’s just change the subject.” Glenn waves his hand like he’s clearing the air.

“You should tell the RA.” Rick says, very concerned.

“No, I’m going to give him a chance. I got him to apologize. I think it could work out.”

Amy giggles, “Work out? You just want to stare at his arms all night long. Hoping he’ll hold you in them, right?”

“SHHHHH!” Glenn glances at the open door. “What if he came back right now?” Glenn hisses at her. “You would be soooo dead. No, _I_ would be so dead.” He pauses and comes to a realization. Glenn leans towards them and whisper yells, “Dude, you guys. You CANNOT tell him I’m gay. He would totally hate crime me, like, in my sleep.”

“No way!” Amy is again looking horrified.

“Yes way! He gives off that vibe. We already know he’s a racist. I bet he’s got a shotgun loaded in the rear window of his pickup. I can totally hear the Deliverance banjo music already!”

“What does that even mean?!” Amy asks, bewildered.

“I don’t know, but something bad with butt-raping redneck hillbillies. And someone gets murder-buried in the river. I don’t want that to be me!” Glenn gesticulates wildly. Rick chuckles.

“So…the hillbillies are gay? That’s like, the opposite of –“

“Whatever! Trust me, it’s bad.”

The three sit in silence a moment, thinking it over.

“Um, you think you can keep something like that from him the whole year?” Rick asks.

“Yeah, why not?”

Rick and Amy make noises of disbelief.

“Well, probably. Maybe.”

“Okay, but…going _back_ in the closet? Be prepared for the bluest balls in history, 'cause if you even think about hooking up with someone, that shit is getting out. You know?” Rick’s concern is practical.

“Maybe you should change roommates.” Amy says sadly. “I wouldn’t want you to get hurt. Maybe you should tell Shane.”

“Tell Shane what?” They look up and the highly muscled RA is standing in the doorway.

Glenn and Amy both make gasping surprised noises – Amy actually falls off the bed spluttering, and Rick and Shane laugh. Shane looks at Rick, since they’re the two laughing, and cocks his head to the side. He walks in, making a beeline.

“I’m Shane Walsh, their RA.” He jerks his head toward the other two but doesn’t stop looking at Rick.

Rick smiles and nods, “Rick.”

Glenn seems to be the only one to notice Shane’s question is still unanswered. “Um…tell you that we were going to look for some parties. Thought maybe you could tell us some good ones, or um, want to come with us?” Shane finally looks at Glenn as he finishes talking, then looks back at Rick.

“Yeah, okay.”

“What like, now?” Amy leaps up. She glances down at herself, “Wait, let me change!”

“Me too.” Glenn starts digging in his drawer for a new shirt and Amy is running out the door when she slams into Daryl who is just walking in.

 

* * *

 

Daryl comes back from dinner duties to a room full of people. In fact, blondie barrels into him on her way out, stopping him in his tracks.

“Ooof. Sorry,” she squeaks as she recovers and then maneuvers past him. Even when she’s gone he stands in the doorway, unsure why so many people are there.

“Hey, Daryl,” Shane greets him heartily. Daryl is slightly shocked. He didn’t think anyone had seen him at the orientation, and he’s sure he didn’t meet Shane otherwise. His surprise must show on his face because Shane continues, “Dude, we study your files. Learn your names. It’s cool.” He claps his hand on Daryl’s shoulder like it’s reassuring. Daryl’s not really cool with that and wonders what all is in his file.

“Hey, do you need help bringing your stuff in? We got a buncha guys here now, won’t take no time,” Shane offers, performing his RA duties.

Daryl is confused for an instant, then realizes why they’re asking. Okay, his side of the room looked pretty empty - he doesn’t have all the shit that Glenn has. It’s just that everything he brought fits inside the drawers and closet. He looks down, “Nah. I got everythin’.”

The silence is awkward for just a second. Then Shane says, “Well, we’re going to see if there are any good parties around campus. You want to come with?”

Daryl looks up at Shane, then the guy sitting on Glenn’s bed. He wonders if this is something he should do; get to know these people, make friends, hang out. More likely it’s something he shouldn’t do; a distraction, from studying, work, everything. And then he spots Glenn in the corner. Glenn…shirtless in the corner.

“Yeah, okay.”


	3. Chapter 3

They pick up a couple more people (Jacqui and Morales he hears them say) from the dorm and blondie again and head out. If Merle could see their racially diverse little group, he’d be having a field day Daryl thinks. The new guy from the room introduces himself as Rick. He’s pretty serious looking and a little standoffish, which is fine by Daryl. Shane tells them that some parties serve booze, but the campus policy on underage drinking is getting tougher so they shouldn’t expect much.

They find the party Shane suggested and go in. He knows a few people so is making the rounds for a bit, then finally leads them to the keg in back. He points his finger at each of them in turn, and says with emphasis, “Don’t make me regret this.” Daryl scoffs. He’s been drinking since he was four stealing sips of his daddy’s beers when he fetched them from the cooler. They each reach for a cup, but blondie and Glenn are turned away by the keg monitor.

“Dude, I’m Asian, I just look young!” Glenn argues, but the guy shakes his head.

“No, wait. It’s the hat!” He whips it off hopefully. But when the guy asks Glenn for ID he gives up. He and blondie retreat back into the house sulking. The rest follow with drinks. Rick smiles at blondie and hands her his cup.

Glenn sputters, “Dude, I thought you were _my_ friend! You just met her!”

“Hey, ladies first! Just wait a little. I can’t go back right away,” Rick placates him.

Daryl shoves his cup at Glenn’s chest. “Here, chink. I wanna see how red your face gets.”

Glenn takes the cup, a slightly puzzled smile on his face. Daryl nods and wanders off.

The party is okay. Beer is better than nothing, but Daryl wants harder stuff. He wanders around the house, sure there is a stash somewhere.

He finds it in a back room where a bunch of guys and a few girls are playing poker, some others are watching or talking to each other. There’s a pretty well stocked bar at the far wall. He knows he can’t just walk over and help himself, so he pretends to be interested in the game. He takes his cigarettes out of his pocket as one of the guys wanders over, takes one for himself and offers one to the guy. He lights his own, then holds the lighter for the guy to use.

“You sellin’?” the guy asks through the smoke.

Daryl is surprised. He’s never been asked that before. Even when Merle was, and everyone in town knew it, they never asked him. But then, maybe that’s what he looks like to this guy, to everyone here. He looks around again and they are all wearing some variation of the same uniform; distressed jeans and expensive t-shirts. His own worn jeans are just that, worn, and the tears are actual tears. His t-shirt came in a plastic pack with five others just like it (though it had sleeves at one point.) So, why else would he be on campus except to sell drugs to a bunch of snotty rich kids?

“What d’ya need?” it just comes out of his mouth without his really thinking about it.

“Just some weed man. That’d be great.”

“I’ll see what I got, might be out.” He looks at the guy and jerks his head towards the bar. “’m gonna get a drink.” Not a question, but he waits for the go ahead.

“Yeah, sure man. Help yourself.”

Daryl saunters over to the bar, finds the Jack Daniels and checks it. Half full. He jerks his chin at the guy then wanders back out to the rest of the party.

He finds the rest of his group mostly in one area of the large main room. Rick is leaning against a wall looking around, but Shane is right there next to him, hand on the wall just near Rick’s head. Clearly Shane is putting the moves on Rick, but Rick doesn’t seem interested. Daryl wonders briefly if he should be taking notes (putting the moves on…someone might be something he’d want to try someday, maybe) but he figures he should wait for a more successful example. Jacqui and Morales are dancing and Glenn and blondie are in a corner whispering over their red plastic cups. Daryl approaches them and they stop talking, smiling at him.

“Uh, where’d you go?” Glenn asks.

He holds up the bottle. “Find this.” He pours a generous amount into Glenn’s cup, and some into everyone else’s. He nods when they thank him, then wanders to the far end of the room where there’s a space to sit on a window sill. He settles in, nursing the rest of the bottle, people watching until his eyelids droop. Then he just watches one person.

He imagines Glenn leaning against a wall and himself standing next to him with his hand up near Glenn’s head. Only Glenn is looking right back at him. He holds the bottle of Jack up to Glenn’s mouth and the kid leans forward just a little, mouth slightly open, tongue reaching the bottleneck first as he takes it – .

“You ready to go?” Daryl blinks up at Shane who looks pissed. “I gotta get up in the morning.”

“Yeah, okay.” Daryl agrees.

“Get the others,” Shane stalks out to the front. Whatever. Daryl guesses he understands.

He wanders around to find everyone. Blondie is chatting up some douchey looking guy that gives Daryl the creeps.

He grabs her arm, “Let’s go.”

“Nice to meet you Randall. I’m in Caldwell!” she calls to him as Daryl drags her away.

“Y’shoudn’t do that. Ya don’t know him.” He tells her.

“Okay, thanks _dad_.” She says sarcastically. They both roll their eyes.

Morales is talking to someone too. Daryl gives him a nod and he nods back. Morales and the girl exchange numbers and he joins Daryl and blondie.

Glenn and Jacqui are suddenly there too. “I think he needs to get back.” Jacqui says looking at Glenn. His arm is draped over her shoulders and his head is drooping forward, occasionally rolling to the side. Shit. Maybe he gave him too much. Who knew the kid’d be such a lightweight?

On the walk back, Glenn is sandwiched between blondie and Jacqui, who are giggling at him and making sure he doesn’t fall down.

“Hey,” Rick calls. “I’m this way,” he gestures to another dorm building. He stops in front of Glenn and the girls. They talk too quietly for Daryl to hear, but when Rick turns to leave Glenn lunges at Rick, “Wait!” He grabs Rick in a sloppy bear hug. “I looove you man. ’m ssso glad we’re here together.”

Rick chuckles, “Yeah, me too,” and gently guides Glenn back towards the group.

 

Back at their room, blondie helps Glenn into his bed. Pulls his shoes and socks off and pops the button on his jeans. She’s tugging them down, but his dead weight must make it impossible because she hisses, “Glenn, help me. Lift your butt!”

“‘M not ready. Saving it.” Glenn mumbles. His hand feebly swats at her.

She turns to Daryl, “Can you help?”

He feels like a deer caught in headlights. Can he help take Glenn’s pants off? His face flushes, but luckily, they hadn’t turned the lights on.

“Gotta take a piss.” He hears her make an exasperated sound as he scoots out the door. When he gets back, Glenn is under the covers and blondie is gone. Daryl looks around and takes Glenn’s trash can and sets it near his bed. He washes up and takes off his jeans. Then he realizes he didn’t make the bed so he spreads the sheet out, throws the pillow at one end and shakes out the blanket as he slips under it. He listens to Glenn’s heavy breathing until he falls asleep.

 

* * *

 

Like, whoa. It’s so obvious Shane is interested in Rick. Why else would an RA be hanging out with the freshmen in his dorm? Glenn wonders if he’ll be able to get Rick alone tonight to ask if he’s interested in Shane. Doesn’t seem like it because Shane is not leaving Rick’s side. Glenn knows that Rick can play hard to get and chuckles to himself. Shane seems like the type of guy, at least he’s got the swagger, that he might be used to getting what he wants right away.

The party is great and it even looks like they’ll be getting beer, but then this keg nazi appears out of nowhere! Man, it sucks looking so young. Glenn blames his baby smooth skin. Luckily Rick and Daryl give Amy and him their drinks.

“What’d he say?” Amy asks after Daryl wanders off.

“He said ‘Drink.’ He wants to see how red my face gets.”

“Are you embarrassed?”

“What? No.”

“Then why would your face get red?”

“Oh, some Asian people turn red when they drink.”

“Huh. Is that…is it racist to say that?

Glenn thinks about it. “Not really? I don’t know. It’s more like something you know because you’ve been drinking with an Asian person. So if you’re drinking with someone, wouldn’t you like them? So that wouldn’t be racist!” He feels pretty happy with this reasoning.

They wander around the house, spending time in various rooms. They eventually settle in the large living room where some people are dancing.

“Dude, Daryl has rock hard abs!” Amy whisper yells. “I bruised myself running into him. It was like running into a brick wall!”

“I don’t want to hear it!” Glenn shakes his head.

“I can’t wait to see him in the hallway on his way to take a shower. Do you think he’s a towel guy or a boxers guy? Towel is super hot, but sometimes with boxers you actually get to see the goods. You know, with gaping. Unless his towel slips or something. That could be good too.”

“UNNNNGHHHH! STOP IT!”

“What? I’m just wondering.”

Suddenly Daryl is in front of them. Amy’s eyes go wide and then she has a big smile on her face and Glenn feels one on his too.

“Uh, where’d you go?”

Daryl holds up a bottle (“Find this,”) and pours some for everyone. Glenn is pretty happy that Daryl is making such an effort to be nice to everyone. At first he was worried the guy would say something racist to Jacqui or Morales, but it seems like, well, like this afternoon was just a mistake? Daryl disappears before Glenn can tell him he’s glad he came along.

Looking around the room Glenn notices a pretty nice looking guy giving him the eye. He starts to walk over to introduce himself, but then catches a glimpse of Daryl staring at him from across the room. He looks again and…yeah, it looks like a really angry glare. What, is Daryl mad at him now? Then Glenn remembers that he doesn’t want Daryl to know he’s gay. So he sighs and turns his back on the guy. He’ll have to remember not to invite Daryl next time or it’s going to be a seriously long year. He walks up to Jacqui and takes a swig from his cup, only coughing slightly.

After a while, Glenn is past buzzed and is feeling numb. He remembers talking to Jacqui about their majors but then it gets kind of fuzzy. Walking back to the dorms he has his arms slung around Amy and Jacqui. Then suddenly Rick is in his face all concerned. “Are you okay? You wanna crash at my place?” Glenn shakes his head no, where would he even sleep? Rick says in a lower voice, “I can walk you back.” Glenn knows that Rick is worried about something, but he can’t make his mind function enough to guess what it is. He squints at Rick, willing his telepathy to start working.

Rick leans in close and whispers “Do you trust Daryl?” Oh. The whole racist thing. Glenn thinks about Daryl getting him drinks tonight and smiles and nods.

“Yeah, he’s cool.”

Rick turns to Amy and asks, “Can you make sure he gets back okay?” She nods vigorously.

Glenn sees Rick turn to leave. “Wait! I love you man. I’m glad we’re here together.” Glenn gives Rick a bro hug.

“Yeah, me too,”

 

Someone is pushing him into his bed. And trying to take his pants off. “Lift your butt!” he hears. What? No! He wants to wait. He wants it to be with someone special. “I’m not ready! I’m saving it!” he says sternly. After a short struggle his head settles onto a soft pillow and it’s so comfortable he doesn’t even mind that the room is spinning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: slightly graphic description of man bits, masturbation.

Daryl wakes and stares at the ceiling in his dorm room. This is the first time in his life he’s woken up in a place other than his home, a tent, or just out in the woods. He waits to see if he might actually wake up again, inception-style.

When that doesn’t happen, he swings his legs over the edge of the bed and he can see the back of Glenn’s head poking out from the top of his pile of blankets. Daryl goes to his dresser and pulls out clothes and some toiletries from a plastic grocery bag. The bag rustles loudly and he hears Glenn sigh and turn over. He is about to apologize for waking the kid up but the words die in his throat as he turns around.

Glenn has turned onto his back which has pushed the blankets off his body. Daryl sees an expanse of skin, the smooth pale skin of Glenn’s chest and stomach. Daryl’s brain is just noting the grey boxer briefs exposing sharp hip bones, when his eyes lock on to the generous bulge straining the thin ribbed cotton material. Glenn has a fucking erection. Daryl feels the blood in his body rush south making him dizzy and his breathing is loud in his ears. His fingers twitch and maybe his hand reaches forward just a little, but then Glenn sighs again. It’s enough to startle Daryl into quickly moving to the door. He stands there for several minutes, willing his hard-on away. Finally he is able to leave, and walks quickly to the bathroom.

He quietly jerks it in the shower to thoughts of Glenn naked. Because he doesn’t even have to wonder what the kid looks like. Those briefs are so fucking thin he fucking knows Glenn is circumcised. Christ.

 

When he gets back to the room, Glenn is thankfully back under the blankets. Daryl finishes dressing quickly and knows he has to get out of there. He grabs his backpack and keys and leaves.

He has nowhere to go so decides to buy some school supplies to kill time. Not from the campus bookstore though. He looked up a dollar store before leaving for school so that’s where he’s headed. It’s a whole ordeal because he has to walk off campus to where he parked his truck in a seedy strip mall lot where they wouldn’t notice an ‘abandoned’ car. It’s off campus so he doesn’t have to pay a couple hundred dollars for the school parking permit. Not that his car looks like it's abandoned or a piece of shit or anything – it’s old, but he keeps it up pretty well since he’d learned how to maintain it from his Pa and Merle. Mostly Merle. At the store he buys paper, notebooks, binders, tape, soap, shampoo, razors, detergent and some snacks. This reminds him that he forgot to eat breakfast, he was in such a rush to get out of there. It doesn’t faze him, though. He’s used to skipping meals, though more from necessity than forgetfulness.

Driving back he thinks about Glenn. If he might be, well…. He wonders if he and Rick are more than friends. Though if they are, Glenn would probably have a problem with Shane. Shane sure isn’t shy about it. He wonders how and where Shane grew up that he’s so comfortable with being…different. Glenn is probably interested in blondie. She is pretty cute, he guesses. If Merle were here he’d be, 'harassing' is a gentle word for how he would be treating her. Stupid girl was flirting with that creep last night though. Glenn’s way better looking than that prick. If he were blondie- wait, what the fuck is he thinking? Things are getting way too fucked up, and he’s only been here a day. Daryl makes a decision to spend as little time in his room as possible, to avoid more awkward encounters with Glenn. Avoid thinking about what he’d do if he were a fucking _girl_ Glenn might be interested in. Hell, he’ll be working or studying most of the time anyway. He’ll just have to find a good library spot where he can do most of his work.

By the time he parks his car again and walks back to the room, Glenn is gone. He drops his bags and grabs the course catalog and goes down to the dining hall to get some food. He takes a couple of sandwiches, an apple and a can of coke. He finds a grassy area in a grove of trees, sits outside and picks classes to take for the quarter and tries to imagine what his life will be like for the next four years.

 

* * *

 

Glenn wakes up to pounding on his door. He sits up and the pounding in his head makes him lie back down.

“Glenn, you’re going to miss breakfast.”

“Hggnnn.”

“We want to go to the football game. Get up!”

“’Mm sick!”

“I have Tylenol!” Amy’s voice sing songs.

Glenn rolls out of bed, literally rolls out so that he is lying on the floor. He crawls to the door and gathers his energy to lift his arm and turn the door knob. Once he does, he collapses back to the floor and the door opens, nudging his body out of the way.

“Here.” Amy holds something towards his mouth. He whimpers but opens up. She feeds him the pills which are followed by water from a sports bottle.

Under Amy’s direction he puts some clothes on and brushes his teeth. They walk to the dining hall with Amy chatting away happily about some guy named Randall. Glenn just concentrates on opening his eyes every three or four steps.

He is deposited at an empty table (“I’ll go get coffee”) and he puts his head down under his arms. He feels hands rubbing gently up and down his back.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Jacqui says.

“Never ever ever let me drink again!” Glenn moans.

 

* * *

 

Later that evening, Daryl’s about to go to the dining hall for dinner when Morales drops by.

“Hey man, thanks for the drinks last night. You wanna go out again tonight? That girl I met told me she’d bring some of her girlfriends.” His smile tells Daryl that he expects him to be interested in her girlfriends. Of course. He’s played this part before. He nods and shrugs at the same time hoping it sends the right message.

They walk down to the dining hall and Daryl debates grabbing something quick to go. He doesn’t really feel like joining any ‘get to know you’ conversations that people around here keep trying to draw him into. He’s hungry though and would only have to pay out of pocket for something to eat later. Morales finds them a table with some guy who introduces himself as Jim. A girl named Patricia joins them a minute later. They talk about the football game from the afternoon and about going to a movie later. The movie theater is just off campus, but it would still be a 45 minute walk to get there.

“Hey, wait. You have a car, right? I saw your the shopping bags, you went off campus,” Morales says. Other voices chime in right away.

“You have a car??? You gotta take us out!”

“Oh, dude, there’s a scavenger hunt next weekend. You can be driver for our team.”

“I hear there’s a Sonic nearby. We can go for a study break!...uh....I mean, if we were actually studying already.”

Daryl thinks about the needle on E when he parked his truck earlier. And now that he’s spent a bunch of money on supplies he only has enough cash for maybe half a tank that has to get him through at least two weeks until he gets his paycheck. And, he thinks, if he starts driving them now, they’ll come to him every time they need to go somewhere. He’ll become their errand boy.

“Nah man. I can’t be carting your asses all over town. I ain’t nobody’s bitch.” He scowls, pissed that he has to be this way. Has to calculate if he’ll have enough gas to visit Merle. Has to tell them no in a way so they don’t ask again.

His response shocks them into silence. Good, he thinks, but he doesn’t feel good.

“Okay, man. Don’t need to get upset,” Morales sounds surprised. They resume talking, but not with Daryl. Not even looking his way any more.

He gets up to bus his tray. When he turns around, Glenn is standing there looking pissed.

“Why do you do that? It’s like you don’t want to make any friends.”

He doesn’t really. He really, really doesn’t.   Glenn’s glare shifts so it looks more like…disappointment? And that just…fuck. It makes Daryl feel sick. He's _not_ here to make friends. He's here to get a degree so he can get a job and escape his shitty life and maybe help Merle. He doesn't have time to be dealing with friends and disappointment and _Glenn_...so...

“Fuck off, chink.”


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, Glenn and Amy go over to Rick’s dorm to talk about what classes they are going to take. They meet Rick’s roommate Edwin and his girlfriend Candace, both pre-med. In fact, Candace had been doing research at the university as a high school student and so knew some of the professors and upperclassmen. She gives them tips on what classes to take.

At lunch they sit with Candace's roommate, Lori something or other. She really seems to be flirting with Rick. Seriously, this guy with all the admirers - and Glenn, for all intents and purposes, back in the closet. But, speaking of admirers…

“So, Shane’s stopped by my room a couple of times already.” Glenn says quietly, so the others can’t hear.

“Oh?” Rick is pretty nonchalant.

“Come on man!” Glenn’s voice drops even lower. “Are you interested?”

Rick gives a small smile and shrugs. “I think I’ll keep my options open.” His gaze drifts over to Lori. Huh.

“Hey,” Rick's voice is still quiet. “So, what’s Daryl up to?” he asks somewhat cautiously.

Glenn shrugs. “I don’t know. He’s kind of an asshole again.”

“Yeah? Isn’t there something…off about him? He seemed really mad that night, like, at you. I was worried he was going to…I don’t know…do something, since you were pretty out of it.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know! But he was just giving you these angry looks all night, and it was really weird that he got you so drunk. And what you said he called you? I…just be careful, okay?”

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine. He doesn’t…he isn’t a guy that’s going to hang out and shoot the shit. I haven’t even seen him at all today. We’ll probably be the kind of roommates who just, you know, see each other in passing.”

Rick nods. Lori leans over and asks Rick what he’s going to major in so he turns to the other conversation going on at the table.

Glenn is not surprised by Rick's concern for him. In fact, it's sort of what he's come to expect ever since they became friends.

 

Freshmen year in high school, they had both transferred to the same school in Atlanta. Glenn, short, skinny, with huge glasses, was coming from an inner-city school in Detriot. He looked 10 rather than 14. Rick was short, though not as short as Glenn, and still carried a little baby fat. His curly hair was a few inches long, so that it framed his round smiling face in a pillowy afro. He came from a rural county north of Atlanta where everyone his age had been in the same classroom since kindergarten. Needless to say, he hadn't developed the survival instincts necessary for an awkward kid in a big city school. Glenn on the other hand, had the whole school mapped out for escape routes and hiding places on his first day. He was eating his lunch in one such hiding place when he heard jeering, taunting voices nearby. He peeked out and saw several older boys pushing around a small, soft looking kid with poofy hair. They pushed him into an unused classroom and stood against both doors, trapping him inside. Glenn could barely hear the kid's feeble pounding on the door and his muffled voice through the laughter of the older boys. He sighed to himself, because of course he was going to help. If it were him trapped in a room by some jerks, he could only hope someone would help him. He snuck around the outside of the building and found the windows to the classroom. Using a folder he slid open a latch and softly called to get the boy's attention.

"Hey, you in the classroom." He resisted the urge to call him a dumbass, because it could have easily been him in this situation. The kid looked at him warily, but slowly made his way to the windows.

"Climb out."

"How?" The lever window was several feet off the ground.

"Drag a desk over! Hurry, they're gonna notice you're not banging on the door."

The kid quickly pulled a desk over, the loud scraping sound making Glenn wince. He put his head through the window, but stopped when he couldn't figure out how to get himself the rest of the way out. Glenn heard the classroom door bang open and the bullies shouting. He grabbed the kid by the shoulders and hauled him out and they both landed in a pile in the dirt. Glenn scrambled up ready to run; the boys were already at the window.

"Come on!" he yelled.

The kid jumped up and nodded, so Glenn took off running around the corner of the building. They wove through several turns and then came up on a fire escape ladder leading to the roof. Glenn scrambled up and the boy followed. Just as they made it over the edge, they heard the shouts of the other boys below.

"Hurry, they're getting away!"

"They've gotta be headin' for the baseball field."

They sat on the roof catching their breath, listening to the voices and footfalls grow distant. Glenn looked at the boy up close for the first time. His round cheeks were pink and puffing out even more with his breaths. There were lines on his cheeks that were definitely tear tracks. His blue eyes were round and still scared.

"I'm Glenn." Glenn's voice warbled and cracked embarrassingly (when was it going to stop doing that?) and he grimaced a smile.

"I'm Rick," Rick responded and smiled back.

They'd been best friends ever since. Rick will sometimes say that Glenn saved his life. Glenn wouldn't go that far. Still, Rick's gratitude made him protective of Glenn and over the years they've taken turns looking out for each other.

 

In addition to attending the general orientation programs for freshmen, they register for classes, buy text books and then classes start. There are only a couple of days of actual instruction and before Glenn knows it, it’s Friday again. This time, he heads out to Rick’s before Daryl gets back from working the dinner shift. He doesn’t want to have to invite Daryl to go out with them, because he would out of guilt or something. Glenn decides he's going to try to spend as much time at Rick’s or Amy’s as possible. It’s really distracting being around Daryl, even with the little amount of time they see each other. He wears nothing but t-shirts or plaid button downs with the sleeves cut off. Who does that? Awesomely hot rednecks with killer arms, that’s who. Of course Shane stops by his room and he has to lie so that Shane doesn't tag along either. The last thing he needs is his RA mad at him because his best friend isn't interested.

So Friday, Glenn, Amy, Rick, Ed, Candace and Lori go out. And Glenn sees the hot guy again. He actually talks to him - his name is Jimmy. They’re talking but Glenn finds his eyes wandering the room, looking for scruffy hair or a sleeveless shirt in the crowd, wanting a drink shoved at his chest. Shit. Why is he pining over something he can’t have? He focuses back on Jimmy.

 

Saturday morning Glenn wakes up late, but not hungover. He was careful not to repeat the mistake of last week. Daryl’s bed is empty like it’s been almost every morning. He meets Amy and Jaqui for breakfast and they all go to the football game again. He wonders what Daryl does with his time.

 

* * *

 

 

After the first few days of classes, Daryl wakes up early Saturday and heads out. He gasses up the truck and starts on the one hour drive to West Central Prison. When he gets there, he sits on the plastic molded chair and waits.

“Well if it isn't some college educated asshole come ta see lil ol' Merle. And not a court appointed lawyer. Whad I do ta deserve this?” He sits across the table from Daryl.

“Shut up, Merle.”  But there’s a small smile on Daryl’s face. He knows Merle is actually proud of him.

“How's college?  Kickin ass and takin' names?”

“More like studying and slingin’ hash.”

Merle leans in and whispers, “Hash, no shit?”

“Nah man, like food. I hafta work at the dining hall.  Pay the bills.”

“Aw man, sorry bro.  If I were outta here I coulda supported ya. Offered ya the Merle Dixon Scholarship for Overachievin’ Rednecks.” They both snicker.

“Nah. You'd just get yer sorry ass thrown back here.”

“Yeah I suppose.  So, you gettin’ some o’ that sweet college coed pussy?”

Daryl looks at the table and shrugs a shoulder. 

“This is the time man. They're available and willin’. First time away from home. Lonely. You be their shoulder to cry on. Be a comfort: they’ll show their appreciation.” His eyebrows raise and lower suggestively.

Daryl shrugs one shoulder. “Hafta study to keep my scholarship. I don’t wanna mess this up.” He looks up at Merle, anxiety written on his face.

“Well, okay, you put it like that. First to go to college...my baby bro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted 10/5/14


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: General coming of age sexuality, homophobia, mention of gay hate-crimes.

"Hey, Daryl!"

Daryl pauses in his walk towards his dorm and looks around for the source of the voice. He eventually looks up and sees Dale leaning over the railing of his residence balcony that overlooks the courtyard of their dorm. He's seen Dale there before, sitting out on an old lawn chair. Always with that silly looking bucket hat and a book in his lap but not reading. He's usually just watching kids coming and going to class. One time Daryl could've swore he saw a pair of binoculars in his hands.

"Any plans for lunch?" Daryl shakes his head no.

"Why don't you have lunch with me? I've been trying to get together with everyone in the dorm. Get to know you kids." Dale's smile is friendly.

Daryl presses his lips together, but doesn't scowl like he wants to. Honestly, he'd rather clean the septic tank back home. But similar to that chore, the sooner he gets this over with, the better.

"Yeah, okay."

"Great, let's grab some food and bring it up here."

They go through the lunch line and take trays full of food up to the balcony. There's a small patio table and chair set where they sit.

"So, settling in?"

"Yeah. Guess so." There is silence as Dale waits for elaboration but nothing follows.

"Getting along with your roommate? Glenn?"

"Yeah." Daryl shrugs. His usual response to nosy people is the stare down. But he realizes he can't do that to Dale so instead he keeps his eyes on his plate.

"I thought he'd be good for you."

Daryl is startled. What?! Was he saying...how did he know?

Dale must sense his surprise because he responds, "Well, you know Glenn. He's such a social butterfly. And everyone likes him. I thought he would help you to get to know people in the dorm."

Daryl is relieved. Of course Dale wasn't saying...what he thought he was saying.

Dale continues. "With your...situation, I know it can be hard opening up to people and that can be isolating in a new environment like this."

Seriously. Does Dale know or doesn't he? Daryl shifts nervously. "My situation?"

"Well, both your parents gone and your brother...not around either." Dale looks a little sheepish for having brought up Daryl's home life.

Daryl relaxes, realizing Dale's not talking about his...feelings about Glenn. But then his eyes narrow. He didn't know the old man knew about Merle. That meant Shane and Carol probably knew too. And what's to stop them from talking to any of the kids in the dorm?

"Look, it's harder for the...I'm just gonna say it - poorer students. Especially in an expensive private university like this. They have a higher drop out rate. I was hoping Glenn could help you...build a social network. That would probably be the biggest help in surviving college. Not that college is a dangerous place." Dale laughs at his own humor.

Daryl kinda feels like getting up and walking away. He kind of feels like punching Dale in the face. He's been surviving on his own for as long as he can remember, and home was a far scarier place than this country club. His attitude must show because Dale extends his hands in a placating gesture.

"Listen, son. I didn't mean to get too personal. I just want you to know, I want you to succeed here. We all do." There is a pause as he lets Daryl think that over. "So, how do you like the food service? It's supposed to be one of the better ones, as far as colleges go."

Daryl recognizes that Dale is changing the subject to a less threatening topic and sighs inwardly. He's really trying to make it work here so he goes along.

"'s better than catchin' an' cookin' it myself."

"Oh, you're a fisherman."

"Yeah, sometimes. Mostly hunting though."

They make small talk about hunting and fishing. Once the conversation is safely not about his home life, Daryl relaxes a little. He guesses Dale isn't so bad. It's a weird feeling, having someone interested in his life (who is not a cop investigating something Merle did.) They finish lunch and Daryl hopes Dale will leave him alone now that they've had their talk. Just to make sure though, whenever he sees Dale out on his lookout, Daryl crosses over to the far side of the courtyard.

xXx

The weather had cooled off for the most part from the scorching summer heat, but a few weeks into the quarter the temperature surges back up into triple digits for a few days. Daryl is used to it. Glenn, apparently, is not. Daryl comes back to the room after class one day to find Glenn sprawled on his bed in just his underwear, his skin glistening with sweat.

"Th' fuck? Where yer clothes? Thought yer people were supposed to be experts at laundry."

"Too…hot. Can't…move," Glenn groans. "…and fuck you. I'm Korean." But there's no anger in his voice. "We need a fan," he whines.

Daryl crosses the room and lowers the blinds to block out the afternoon sun rays streaming in, while leaving it high enough so that air can still move through the open window. He then opens the room door and a slight breeze stirs the stifling air. Glenn sighs. It's too much; Glenn sweaty and moaning and sighing and _almost naked_. Daryl turns around and leaves, completely forgetting why he stopped by the room in the first place.

Seriously, how is he supposed to get his head in the game with Glenn for a roommate? Sure he had…interests, whatever, growing up. But he knew how to manage them. The summer he was eight, Merle had taken him to a swimming hole where there were a bunch of other kids and teenagers from the county. Merle commented openly and explicitly about the girls. What body part he liked on each one, how her bathing suit or t-shirt or shorts set off that particular feature. Daryl paid attention, but in a detached way. His eyes kept wandering over to the older boys on the rope swing. Noticing how their wet shorts slung low on their hips, how their arms flexed as they held on to the rope, how their stomach muscles tightened in anticipation of landing in the cold water. Merle had smacked him in the back of the head.

"Hey, don't be starin' at dudes like that. People'll think you're a fag. They'll kill you fer that shit, if I don't kill ya first."

After that, Daryl knew to keep his eyes to himself, even if he didn't understand what Merle was talking about. When he was ten, he joined the other boys when they ran away from the girls chasing them around the playground. When he turned twelve, the other boys changed their minds. Daryl didn't. Kids paired off and would walk home together, hold hands, kiss. Daryl avoided being noticed by always going off into the woods with his crossbow.

Once he started middle school with gym class and showers, Daryl knew there was something wrong with him. He would get hard in the locker room and have to hide in a bathroom stall waiting for it to go away. He started beating off every morning hoping he would be less likely to get a boner at school. But that was even more frightening, because of what he thought of when he did it; flashes of skin and muscles and body parts he saw in the locker room. He tried, he really, really tried to think of girls. Guys in his class would show him pictures they got off the internet. It made him sweaty and nervous, but for all the wrong reasons. He imagined those guys getting excited over the pictures, getting hard, touching themselves. He wondered if anyone else was like him.

In high school, he dated girls in an attempt to hide his problem. He liked the quiet ones; girls that he thought wouldn't push him to do anything he didn't want to. And even then he only took a girl out two or three times before breaking it off.

Before Daryl knew it, he was eighteen and still a virgin. He kind of wanted to have sex just to get it over with, but was afraid he wouldn't be able to...perform with a girl. That would be just too humiliating. And forget about doing _anything_ with a guy. That was asking for a death sentence in his town. Hell, _Merle_ was responsible for putting two guys in the hospital who were rumored to be gay.

Daryl figured when he was old enough he might be able to move away to where it didn't matter.

Anyway, no one had ever really held his interest beyond a few weeks. So he thought he would get over Glenn after maybe a month, but it's been that and longer and the kid is still all he can think about. He chalks it up to the close proximity of living together.

Even if it takes a while, Daryl figures he'll get over Glenn. At the very least, at the end of the year when they move to different places, he'll be able to get his head clear. The thought doesn't relieve him like it should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the comments and kudos!
> 
> Posted 10/10/14


	7. Chapter 7

Glenn settles into a routine. Wake up. Eat breakfast. Go to class. Eat lunch. Go to more classes. Study. Play video games. Eat dinner. Hang out with friends. Shower (and jerk off.) Sleep. Repeat.

After a while, Glenn notices how hard Daryl is working. Dale let it slip that Daryl is here on scholarship - like, _need_ based. Works the food line to actually afford laundry and toothpaste and stuff. It makes Glenn feel like an asshat playing video games as much as he does. So he cuts back on the Portal. Maybe hits the books more than he would normally. He certainly doesn’t spend money on the stupid junk that so often catches his eye he might have bought otherwise. Doesn't go with the dorm when they go to see the Broadway show he’s already seen, or the water park he’s already been to. It just feels dickish and wrong.

Speaking of wrong. His mom calls to find out what is wrong with him...why his credit card charges have dropped so dramatically. Only, whenever she calls he whispers that he can’t talk, he’s in the library studying. He's turned into a model student. Who knew?

In October, Glenn sees a flyer for a dorm event Daryl might actually be able to afford. He doesn't know why, but he wants to see Daryl to do _something_ other than study and work. Maybe it's so he doesn't feel guilty going himself.

“Hey, are you going on the camping trip? It’s only thirty dollars.”

“Thirty dollars! What the hell for?”

“Uh…camp grounds, tent rental, food?”

“Who the hell pays to go camping?!”

“Well, even if you sleep outside or have a tent already, you still have to eat.”

“Eatin’ should be free! I’d take my crossbow. Shoot something.”

Glenn turns pale. He imagines coming out of a tent to look down the barrel - or arrow of a crossbow, wielded by Daryl.

“Nevermind,” he whispers. Daryl grunts in reply.

Glenn's not the only one to notice Daryl's lack of participation in dorm events. Carol has taken it upon herself to plan something Daryl would attend. She recruits Glenn to help figure out what that might be. Except Glenn is baffled. Short of a DIY class on creating a cool summer wardrobe by removing all your shirt sleeves (though he probably wouldn't even attend that, being the expert he is) there's really nothing Glenn can think of Daryl might be interested in.

"Really? Nothing?" Carol is incredulous.

Glenn thinks to himself. He sees Daryl walking to class so he doesn't have a bike or skateboard. Then he sees him working in the food line a lot, and the rest of the time, Glenn guesses, he is studying. At least every time Glenn goes to the library he sees Daryl at the same table hunched over some book. Not that he’s looking for Daryl, or following him or anything.

Finally, Glenn remembers. "Uh, he mentioned he had a crossbow?"

"Ooohh. Well, we probably can't have a dorm hunting trip. So, you think he'd like to go to a range?" Carol sounds excited and hopeful.

"No, 'cause you'd have to pay."

"Oh. So, something free then."

"Yeah, probably, yeah."

"And...crossbows. Would he be interested in all weapons, or just crossbows?"

"I don't...know. Maybe?" Glenn doesn't really answer her question but she seems to understand.

Carol sets to work. She plans a visit to an author signing of a book about the influence of weapons in history, a free dress rehearsal of a play that has several sword battles in it, a visit to a Civil War Museum on their monthly free admissions day, and a picnic at a nearby lake. (The last one she has to throw in because Dale asks why all their activities are starting to have a military focus.) Daryl skips them all. She thinks she is onto something when she gets the weapons expert from the university theater company to give a demonstration in their dorm. She even schedules it during a time Daryl doesn't have class or work.

Glenn is watching the demonstration with other students in the dorm when he sees Daryl walking by and then stop to see what's going on. The professor is talking about the model guns they use and how the sound effects are done with caps.

Daryl scoffs and walks away. Glenn watches him leave the building, then looks at Carol. She shrugs, but he can tell she's really disappointed and for some reason, he is too. He doesn't know what makes him try so hard to get Daryl involved.

After all, if he really thinks about it, most of his interactions with Daryl have been pretty negative. The racial slurs are pretty hard to forget. But at the party that first night, Daryl was nice and got them all drinks. It was like a glimpse of the person Daryl could be. So Glenn's hanging his hat on the one beer Daryl handed him and the whiskey he poured, all those weeks ago. He also trusts Carol's judgment. She seems to think Daryl is worth the effort.

They aren't able to draw Daryl in, but there's a bright side. Spending all this time with Carol allows Glenn to get to know her better. He finds out she's kind and thoughtful and likes kids. And, it turns out they will probably have the same major: Psychology. Carol wants to be a marriage and family counselor, focusing on at risk youth, while Glenn at this point just finds it fascinating that people's personalities and behaviors can be predicted and quantified. He's glad he'll have someone he can study with when he gets around to the upper division courses. But more than that, he finds Carol to be really nice and cool to hang around. After all, you can never have too many friends.

 

* * *

 

 

Daryl settles into a routine. Wake up. Shower (and jerk off). Eat breakfast or work the breakfast shift. Go to class. Eat lunch. Study. Go to more classes. Study. Eat dinner or work the dinner shift. Study. Sleep. Repeat.

Sometimes he'll see something on TV in the lounge and will sit and veg out for a few minutes. Sometimes he'll walk around campus if he gets stir crazy being indoors too much. If it gets really bad he'll get in his truck and drive. Go to a park and track animals - mostly out of habit, partly to keep in practice. He sees the squirrels running around and his finger itches to pull a trigger, only he doesn't have his crossbow.

On Saturdays, every Saturday, he visits Merle. Didn't even visit this often in high school. He guesses at home he didn't have the burning desire to escape his surroundings. That's it. He doesn't feel comfortable. He grew up a certain way and those rules don't apply here. The kids here, they walk around with an attitude like they expect good things to happen to them. Like they’re entitled to a clean bed, good food, and a high paying job once they graduate. He grew up just surviving. Hunting for food. Avoiding his daddy. Avoiding the police (because of Merle). Keeping his secret. He learned pretty quick not to expect good things, hell, not even hope for them. You'd just end up disappointed, or worse.

And now, he finds himself thinking about the future. In college, how can you not? But picking classes and a major and thinking about a job takes a lot of optimism which he isn't used to. It assumes you are going be around for a while, can stay out of trouble, keep your scholarship, pass your classes. This is the most he's ever dared plan for. It makes him uncomfortable and anxious, like that's just asking for it to all come crashing down around him.

So Glenn with his easy smile and unguarded optimism is strange to him. But it's not like the other kids. Glenn doesn't have that attitude of entitlement; It's that he's happy, thrilled even, to be where he is and to have what he's got. It's...heartening. Being around Glenn makes Daryl feel like thinking about the future and hoping for better might not be a stupid idea. He must have a similar effect on others because Dale is right: everyone likes Glenn.

Recently Daryl is noticing Carol in particular likes Glenn a lot. It seems to be mutual. They're always together, talking, whispering, giving each other glances across the room. He should have known it wouldn't take long for Glenn to find a girlfriend. Maybe now, now that he knows the kid is off-limits, he can stop his...inappropriate thoughts. It's better this way, he thinks. Fewer things to complicate his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not totally happy with this chapter, but I just couldn't work on it any more. Maybe I'll come back later and fix it a bit.  
> On a happier note, wasn't the season 5 premier great?
> 
> Posted 10/18/14


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I got this little idea for Thanksgiving and it just spiraled out of control.

November rolls around. Daryl plans on staying in the dorms for Thanksgiving. It's not that it's too far to go home. Just that Merle's locked up so there's really nothing to go home to. He'll visit Merle on Thanksgiving and get a turkey dinner from the dining hall.

The Monday before the break, one of the few times Daryl and Glenn are in the room together and awake, Glenn is fidgeting nervously, scrunching his baseball hat in his hands. He clears his throat. Daryl's looks up at him, about to leave for class.

"Uh, are you going home for Thanksgiving?"

"Nah," Daryl shakes his head and turns away expecting that to be the end of the conversation.

"Um. You can come over to my house. Have dinner with my family…if you want."

Daryl is shocked. They barely speak to each other. Suddenly the kid is inviting him over. For Thanksgiving. With his family. "Your parents won't mind?"

"No, uh. My mom kind of wants to meet you actually. She's the one who suggested... I ask you."

"Why'd she wanna meet me?" Daryl isn't sure what to make of this invitation. He doesn't even know how he would act around someone's parents.

"I may have mentioned you." Glenn looks uncomfortable.

"Wha'd you tell her?" Now Daryl is uncomfortable. Their first meeting, hell, basically all their interactions now on his mind.

"Well...she was wondering why I've been studying so hard…and...not playing video games. I told her I see you studying a lot so it makes me study more...out of guilt or something." He shrugs.

"I ain't always studying." Daryl looks at the floor. His mind guiltily flashes back to the other morning when he sat on his bed, watching Glenn sleep from across the room. But Glenn told his mom about him, and not the bad stuff neither.

"So, you want to come?"

Daryl looks him in the eye. Glenn looks hopeful. Daryl likes that look on him, it makes that thing in his chest squeeze. "Yeah, okay."

"Great, I'll tell my mom." He's getting out his phone when he pauses. "Uh. Just so you know, we're Korean. So you shouldn't call us Chinese, or…or anything." Glenn says nervously.

Daryl scoffs but also feels his face get hot. "Whatever… _Glenn_."

 

On Wednesday afternoon Daryl turns in an English paper and walks out to get his truck. He drives it back to the dorm, parks it and goes to their room. Glenn is there with his backpack on and holding two stuffed laundry bags.

"Bring your laundry. We can do it at my house."

Daryl hesitates for just a second. It would be saving a bunch of money, so he grabs his laundry bag, which is a black plastic trash bag, along with his duffel of overnight stuff. He still isn't sure about this whole idea. It was one thing having Thanksgiving dinner with Glenn's family. Another thing altogether to stay for the whole weekend. He's not really sure how he agreed to this.

They go out to where his truck is parked in a loading zone and throw their stuff into the truck bed. Glenn is grinning. "I always pictured you with a pickup."

Whatever. Daryl's not sure how to respond to that.

Glenn gives directions and they get on the road. "Thanks for driving, man. I can chip in for gas."

"Nah, that's okay."

"No really," Glenn protests.

Daryl gives him a stern look. "You want I should chip in for my share of dinner then?"

"Okay fine. So, uh, what does your family usually do for Thanksgiving?"

Daryl is quiet for a really long time.

"Never mind." Glenn sounds a little sullen. It's like he thinks Daryl is ignoring him.

Finally Daryl starts to answer. "I don't... My dad died a few years ago and… Merle...moved out. When they were still around we'd shoot a turkey. Make the whole turkey dinner n' stuff."

" _Shoot_ shoot? You killed your own turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?!"

"Yeah."

"Wow, hardcore! That's really...impressive."

Daryl shrugs. That's just what they did. Cheaper than buying a turkey.

"I'm sorry about your dad. Is Merle your brother?"

"Yeah."

"He hasn't come to visit, has he? Did he move pretty far?"

"Yeah. He can't...get time off." Daryl shifts uncomfortably, thinking of how to change the subject quickly. "So how come you don't talk like you're from Atlanta?"

"Oh, I grew up in Michigan mostly. Came here when I was 14."

"Huh. So that explains the wilting daisy routine you got going on."

"Hey, I'm just...not used to the heat. I'd like to see you survive a Detroit winter!"

Daryl snorts. "Whydja move?"

"Huh? Oh, my parents had a property investment here that was bleeding money. They came down to try and turn it around and maybe sell it. It turned out better than they hoped so we stayed."

"So, real estate moguls?" He should have know Glenn was a spoiled rich kid.

"Hardly. It was more like they were suckered into a bad investment which actually turned out moderately successful with a lot of work. We were pretty lucky. It was really hard for a few years. It could have easily gone another way."

"Hard?" Daryl pictures the kid cutting back on buying Pokemon cards every week.

"Yeah, when we were in Detroit we...lost our house and had to move in with my aunt. Then we came here and lived in a one bedroom apartment. I even delivered pizzas to help make ends meet."

An image of Glenn on Daryl's front porch delivering a pizza flashes in Daryl's mind. He grins but rubs his hand over his mouth to cover it up.

"Anyway I might have been going to community college back in Michigan instead of University here if things went differently.

They are both quiet for a while. Daryl thinks about what college would be like if Glenn wasn't his roommate.

"That's it on the left. Blue house." Glenn's voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

They pull up to a modest house. Modest, but still way nicer than anything Daryl ever stepped foot in growing up. Daryl parks in the street and they haul their stuff inside.

Glenn shouts, "Ommah!"

A voice yells, "She's shopping!" and a young girl runs into the entry. She stops when she sees Daryl.

"Hey, El. This is my roommate Daryl. My sister Ella."

"Hey," Daryl smiles. She looks around 10 he thinks.

She stares with wide eyes then quietly says hi. She sidles up to Glenn and gives him a hug before disappearing back where she came from.

"Yeah, she's pretty shy at first, but then she'll talk your ear off if you let her. Uh…" Glenn pauses and looks uncomfortable. "We take our shoes off when we're in the house." He grimaces. "It's an Asian thing."

Daryl looks down and notices the carpet is...white. Who the fuck has _white_ carpet? He slips his shoes off but wonders if his socks are even clean enough not to leave footprints. He walks carefully, as if he's moving quietly through the woods, just in case.

They go and drop the laundry bags on the washing machine and continue to Glenn's room where they drop the rest of their stuff. Daryl looks around. The full sized bed takes up most of the space. There's a tall dresser, a desk, and some sort of slouchy chair for sitting on the floor. There is a cork board above the desk with lots of pictures pinned to it. Daryl moves closer to look at them. He recognizes Rick in a lot of them. There's a picture of Glenn in a tuxedo with a pretty girl, posed in front of a starry background.

"You can sleep in here. I'll take the sofa," Glenn offers.

"What? Nah. This is your room, you should be sleeping in your bed."

"You're the guest-"

"Kid, I'm used to sleeping on the ground in the woods. Sofa is plenty comfortable. I doubt you can say the same."

"Heh. Okay. Hey, you wanna hang out with some of my high school friends tonight?"

Daryl shrugs. He is getting less and less comfortable with this weekend. Staying with Glenn's family. Now he has to meet even more new people. But he doesn't want Glenn to regret inviting him. "Yeah, okay."

"Great. It'll just be some guys playing poker. I have to tell you though, I'm horrible. No poker face whatsoever."

"Glenn... Glenn!" They hear a woman's voice.

"Ommah, in here!"

A small Asian woman comes to the room.

"Ommah, this is Daryl."

"Hello, welcome! Thank you for setting a good example for Glenn!"

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Rhee," Daryl mumbles and holds out his hand to shake. She moves toward him and pretty soon his hand is pressed in between their bodies as she's hugging him. And honest to god he can't remember the last time he was hugged besides the one armed side hugs Merle gives him occasionally. Maybe by his mom, which would have been a long time ago. Suffice it to say it makes him pretty uncomfortable, but it's over quickly.

"You need anything let me know. Snacks in the kitchen. Dinner will be soon. You like kimchee? I make kimchee chigae." He looks at her puzzled and she laughs and leaves the room.

"I can't believe she likes you so much. She doesn't like any of my friends."

Daryl snorts. He can't believe it either.

At dinner (some sort of hot, spicy cabbage soup) Daryl stays pretty quiet. So does Glenn's dad. When he came home, Mr. Rhee stoically shook hands with Daryl. He must be the strong silent type, Daryl thinks. Glenn, on the other hand, is talking up a storm about his classes and new friends.

His mom asks "How is Rick?"

"Uh..." Glenn looks around like he's deciding what to say. "He met a girl. Her name is Lori. They hang out a lot so...I don't see him much."

Daryl knows that's bullshit. Rick is in their room all the time. He wonders why Glenn is lying but it's really none of his business so he keeps his mouth shut. He's not one to give away secrets or judge people for theirs.

"Good, he spends too much time just boys. His parents will be happy. Speaking of girls, Daryl, do you have a girlfriend?"

He is startled by the direct question from Glenn's mom, not to mention being dragged into the conversation at all. "No." What the fuck? he wonders.

"Good!" She looks very satisfied with his answer.

"What?!" Glenn is indignant. "Ommah, why would you say that?"

"I told Mrs. Cho that you will take Katie out Friday night and since you were bringing a friend home she said she'd have Katie bring someone too!"

Glenn proceeds to yell at his mom in Korean and she argues back until his dad yells something -still in Korean- that silences them both. Glenn looks at his hands in his lap for a few seconds, then looks up at Daryl pleadingly.

"I'm so sorry. Do you mind? She's already made these plans and...it would be a total dis on the girls if I - if we didn't go. Uh. We can go to a movie or something?"

Daryl is more fascinated by the back and forth arguing that didn't end in a beating or a bottle being hurled against a wall than the question directed at him. Then he realizes Glenn is asking him to do something and he needs to respond. He shrugs one shoulder, "Yeah, whatever."

Glenn still looks like he swallowed a bug but he nods and looks at his mom. "Happy?"

She smiles wide and happily says some more stuff in Korean. Glenn rolls his eyes.

After dinner Daryl drives them to another house nearby. A bunch of guys are already there, including Rick. One guy is sitting at the dining room table counting out poker chips. Glenn pulls his wallet out and hands over some cash. He looks nervously at Daryl.

"I'll spot you, okay? You can pay me back later."

Daryl nods tightly. It pisses him off, but judging from the wad of cash Glenn pulled out, he probably wouldn't have been able to buy in.

He is introduced to the guys. Robert, Greg, Scott and Steven. Two are going to community college and have part time jobs and two are working full time. They talk a lot about cars. Those going to school talk about that and they all have interesting stories about work. Rick is friendlier than usual, asking Daryl questions about how school is going. Well, on the surface it seems friendlier, but somehow Daryl feels like he's being interrogated. When Rick asks about his family Daryl gives a noncommittal grunt and gets up to go to the bathroom. Rick seems to get the message and leaves him alone after that.

At the end of the night, Daryl has won enough to pay Glenn back and keep some for himself. (Glenn is right, he stinks at poker.) He wouldn't say so, but he had fun. He's starting to think this weekend might not be so bad after all.

* * *

Glenn can't believe he talked Daryl into coming over for Thanksgiving. It's his mom's idea, but he'd be lying of he said he doesn't want it too. Besides, it's the thing to do. Amy is going to her roommate's for the weekend, and Jacqui is bringing her roommate home with her. Basically anyone who doesn't want to travel too far will be going home with someone who lives nearby. Not that he knows how far Daryl would have to travel to get home, or where his home is. And Glenn didn't want to press, but it sounded like Daryl lived alone for a couple of years before coming to college. So why did his brother move out just when their father died? It makes Merle sound like an asshole. Then Glenn realizes maybe Merle had to support Daryl - to keep him in school - and the only job he could find was out of town. That makes him feel bad. Given his own past, he should be more understanding about financial difficulties. He's starting to get the feeling Daryl had a pretty hard home life, on top of being poor.

Glenn is mortified when his mom tells him she set up blind dates for them. He can't tell if he is more embarrassed that she asked Daryl if he has a girlfriend (and Glenn admits, he kind of perked up at Daryl's answer), or that Daryl got to see how easily his parents manipulate him. He guesses it's his own fault for not being out to them. And he shouldn't be surprised, really. She talked about it all the time while he was in high school, about setting him up with the daughters of her Korean church friends, but she never followed through. Thankfully Daryl agrees to go, without much fuss even. Maybe he doesn't mind being set up? Not that he can't get girls on his own.

On the way to play poker, Glenn texts furiously with Rick, telling him to tell their friends to not mention the gay thing AT ALL. Rick texts back asking what they are allowed to talk about? Glenn responds they can talk about cars. Cars or school or work. And, yeah, that's pretty much what they do. Daryl comes out ahead and can pay Glenn back and even pockets some cash. It makes Glenn feel good, like he helped Daryl in a small way, without, you know, actually giving him a handout. Besides his mom's matchmaking, the weekend is starting off better than he'd hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I always think of Glenn as being named after Glenn Miller, so I named his sister after Ella Fitzgerald, two war era jazz artists. Glenn's high school friends are named after Robert Kirkman, Greg Nicotero, Scott Gimple and Steven Yeun. Yeah, I'm a bit lazy when it comes to naming characters. Oh yeah, I know Glenn in the show said he had _sisters_ , plural, but I could only fit one in my story.
> 
> Posted 10/25/14


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi! First, thank you guys for the reviews/comments last chapter, they totally made me chuckle. And feedback is always great - keeps me motivated.  
> Secondly, since a couple of people have mentioned the red face thing Daryl says to Glenn in the show and here in Ch 3, I thought I'd tell you here that it's totally a thing, called Asian alcohol flush. It always stood out to me as NOT a racist comment, so I wasn't sure if Daryl knew about it or not, or how Glenn in the show takes it. So I wanted to ask you guys, had you heard about AAF before this story? Did you think Daryl's comment was racist, or about race but not racist, or just general, friendly teasing?
> 
> Warning: homophobic slur

The next morning Daryl wakes up early and washes up. Coming out of the bathroom he almost walks into Glenn coming from his bedroom. Glenn’s in his underwear and scratching his bare chest. His eyes are barely open and his hair is sticking up from sleep. Daryl fights the urge to smooth it down.

“I’ll see ya later, kid.”

“Oh, okay. See ya.”

Daryl gets in his truck and drives to the prison. He had told Glenn he would need to take care of some stuff on Thanksgiving morning. Glenn was cool and didn’t press for any details. At the prison, Daryl waits around for the visiting hours to start, drumming his fingers impatiently on the table.

“Happy Thanksgiving, bro.” Merle is awfully chipper. He punches Daryl in the shoulder and takes a seat.

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

“You gettin' the blue plate special like me then?” Merle sits back and clasps his hands behind his head.

“Huh?”

“You eatin’ cafeteria food today?”

Daryl takes a deep breath, if only to stall while debating whether or not to tell Merle.

“’m going to my roommate's house for dinner.”

“No shit.” Merle thinks it over. “’S he rich?”                 

“No. Just...regular, I guess.” Daryl fiddles his fingers together on the table.

“What’s his name?”

“Glenn.”

“Glenn what?”

“Glenn...Rhee,” Daryl says nervously.

“Glenn Reed," Merle muses, sitting forward. "He got any family up near us? I knew a Sharon Reed back in elementary school.”

Daryl shakes his head and looks into his lap, hiding the relief on his face. “He’s from Michigan, before his family moved here.”

“Huh. Well, tell them ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ from me, and I thank them for taking in my brother since I can’t be there with ya.” Merle glances sidelong at him. “Or not...you know. Whatever.” He shrugs.

They spend the rest of the visit talking about Thanksgivings past; back when it was with both their mom and dad and Daryl was still a little kid. The time a coyote got to the turkey after they shot it but before they could retrieve it. The time they wrestled after dinner and Merle accidentally made Daryl puke. The time Daryl tried to save some pie under his bed but the dog got to it and had the shits all over his room. They don't mention their dad getting drunk or the beatings they got afterwards so the memories are mostly happy ones. At the end of visiting hours, they've been laughing so hard Daryl's sides ache. He's in a really good mood on the drive back.

 

Back at the house, Daryl joins Glenn and Ella watching TV for a while until Mrs. Rhee invites them to the table. Dinner is pretty quiet. Just Glenn’s immediate family and Daryl. Glenn mentions that back in Michigan his whole extended family would get together, and there were a lot of them - aunts, uncles and cousins.

Mrs. Rhee makes a very good turkey. There's a bowl of what Daryl now knows is kimchee and a bowl of rice on the table, but otherwise a traditional Thanksgiving dinner; mashed potatoes, yams, stuffing, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole. Ella has warmed up so is talking about her friends and school. Mrs. Rhee talks more about Mrs. Cho and how happy they are their kids are going out. Mr. Rhee asks Daryl about his major and what he wants to do after college. He even invites Daryl and Glenn into the sitting room after dinner where Ella brings them cups of coffee and Mrs. Rhee comes in with a tray full of pumpkin pie slices. Mr. Rhee talks about bringing his family to the US when Glenn was three and Daryl asks questions about Korea.

That night as he's falling asleep on the sofa, Daryl thinks about this Thanksgiving and how it compares to his past ones. It's nice, Daryl thinks. No fights, not even yelling, no drama. Almost like those families on TV. He never really thought about it before, but he's now realizing his days of family holiday dinners are pretty much over. So, this will probably be his last. Maybe he should have paid more attention. He falls asleep trying to commit the details to memory.

Friday Glenn and Daryl spend the day with Ella. She’s actually 14, she just looks young for her age. They take her to a movie and she sits in the seat between them with her giant tub of popcorn. The movie theater is in a mall so afterwards they go into a few stores, see what Black Friday specials are going on. Ella stops at a novelty store with a Hunger Games display and picks up a plastic bow and arrow set, a small replica of the one Katniss uses. She looks at Glenn hopefully.

"What do you need that for? Halloween is over."

"Phoebe is taking archery lessons."

"Just because Phoebe takes lessons doesn't mean you need a bow and arrow too."

Ella looks disappointed.

"'Sides, you should get a real one if yer gonna learn to shoot," Daryl adds.

Her eyes go wide and she nods excitedly, but then her brow wrinkles. "Where do you get a real one?"

"Sporting goods store. A real one...the kind that sells guns. Or, you know, Walmart."

She has a huge bright smile on her face now and it makes Daryl smile too. They both look at Glenn.

"Okay, fine. Walmart on Black Friday...great." Daryl and Ella both ignore Glenn's sarcasm and head for the car with Glenn following behind.

At the store, Daryl helps Ella pick out a recurve archery youth bow. She is super excited because it looks similar to the one Katniss uses and it's real. Daryl makes sure she can handle the draw weight, then picks out arrows and extra strings. Ella then hands the items over to Glenn who has a weird, indecipherable look on his face, glancing between Ella and Daryl.

Finally he says, "Okay, but this is your Christmas present. Don't expect anything else from me."

"Okay!" she practically shouts, skipping to the front of the store.

Ella is so excited they have to go straight home so that she can try it out. Daryl takes an old box and stuffs it tight with phone books and newspapers to use as a target. Then, he lectures Ella on safety and maintenance. Only after he's sure she can handle it safely and maintain it properly does he show her how to aim and shoot.

Daryl is having fun. He thinks about when Merle taught him to shoot the crossbow and how surprisingly patient he had been. Daryl never had a chance to teach someone himself, so now he guesses this is his turn. Ella is cute and enthusiastic too. In fact, she's so much like a small, girl Glenn that Daryl wonders what Glenn was like as a kid. Or maybe he wonders what Glenn's kid would look like. When he glances over, Glenn is staring at him again with the same expression he had in the store.

  
They head out for their dates after dinner. Instead of Daryl driving the truck they take Glenn’s mom’s sedan, some Asian import Merle would bitch non-stop over. They pick both girls up at Katie's house. The girls are Asian, both with long dark shiny hair and pale skin. Pretty.

Chrissy, Daryl's "date" sits in back with him, Katie in front with Glenn. They decide to go bowling. Daryl's grateful they played poker the night before and he won some money. Now he's able to pay so he and Glenn split the cost. The teams are Glenn and Katie verses Daryl and Chrissy. Glenn is amazingly good. Daryl isn’t as good, but he can throw the ball pretty hard so makes a decent showing.

There's enough to do that he doesn't have to talk much. And Chrissy only asks about college stuff; what's it's like, what his major is. She's a senior and just finished college applications and is hoping to go away for school. He nods and makes small comments in the appropriate places. She flirts, touching his arm, bumping her hip into his side. He watches as Katie does the same to Glenn. The same and more. Giving high tens that turn into hugs, rubbing his shoulders as she waits for the pins to reset. They're laughing a lot. They both complain about their moms' matchmaking, going on and on about hating set ups. They're hitting it off.

Afterwards, they go to a brightly lit tea shop that sells drinks in plastic cups with what looks like giant fish eggs sitting at the bottom. They have to show Daryl how to use the huge straw to suck up the eggs without choking on them. It reminds Daryl of the sweet tea he sometimes drank as a kid - without the eggs of course.

When it comes time to drop the girls off they pull up to the house and Glenn gets out and walks around to open the door for Katie. Daryl realizes he should do the same so starts to get out but Chrissy stops him. She puts her hand on his arm at the door handle so now she's leaning across his body and her face is close to his. She smiles and looks down at his mouth. Daryl knows she's waiting for him to kiss her but he's distracted by Glenn opening the passenger door and helping Katie out. He hears them saying something in Korean before they close the door. Strands of Chrissy's hair brush Daryl's arm and he lifts his hand and takes the strands between his fingers. It's soft and smooth and kind of slippery. He wonders if Glenn's hair would feel this way. Chrissy must take this as a move on his part because she slips her hand around to the back of his neck and pulls him in for a kiss.

It's not horrible. She smells kinda nice and her lips are soft. He's kissed girls before so knows what to do. She slides her hand from his neck down a little onto his back and he can feel the tightness of his skin where his scars are. She moves closer so her body is pressed against his and her other hand slides around to his back too. More scars. The physical contact makes him want to move away but there's nowhere to go. He presses back into the car seat. Aside from Merle the only person who touched him really after his ma died was his daddy - which was never a good thing. He's not even kissing back now, just trying not to push her away or jump out of the car.

Her hand comes to rest on his chest. She pulls away and he glances around wondering where Glenn went. Hoping he's coming back soon.

"You're not really into this, are you?"

"'S just...I don't..."  He avoids her eyes and shakes his head, trying to think of something reasonable to say. Something that's not, 'I don't hardly know you.' Or worse, 'I don't like bein' touched.'

"It's okay. Just you know...having fun." She shrugs and gives him a small smile.

He nods but isn't sure what she means. Then she moves away and so that's it. He's pretty relieved. He gets out of the car and goes around to her side and opens the door. Takes her hand as she steps out. They both lean against the side of the car waiting. The other two eventually appear from under a tree and wander over.

Katie is smiling and says something in Korean, Chrissy responds and they both look at Glenn. Daryl feels his face get hot. He wonders if Chrissy is telling Katie that he wasn't into it. That he must be a fag to turn down a pretty girl in his lap, willing to...whatever. He looks at Glenn. The kid isn't smiling or laughing so maybe he's just being paranoid.

They all walk to the front door and say goodnight. Chrissy gives him a kiss, a quick brush of lips, and Katie kisses Glenn.

On the drive home neither of them is talking. Glenn is watching the road so Daryl can look at him out of the corner of his eye. He sees the pink tinge to Glenn's lips and the red marks on his neck and, he doesn't know why, but an image of Glenn in a tux, standing at the altar with Katie flashes in his mind. Glenn's mom is sitting in the church seats, smiling her ass off. It makes him feel like punching something. It also makes him really, really sad.

"Uh, Katie was just asking Chrissy if she had a good time. Tonight. You know, when she was speaking Korean." Glenn sounds hesitant.

Daryl looks away and stares out the window at the cookie cutter homes. He's suddenly tired and doesn't want to talk. "Hm." he says, just to respond. The rest of the car ride is silent.

When they get back to the house, there's a small light on in the living room and the sofa is made up into a bed already.

"You can use the bathroom first," Glenn offers.

Daryl hesitates for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "Hey, I think I'll head back tomorrow.  I got a paper I should start.  And you can have some time...with your family."

"Oh."  Glenn is quiet but still looking at him. Or maybe not, the dim light makes it hard to see his eyes.

"Thanks for invitin' me. I had...a good time." Daryl is being honest. He enjoyed the weekend more than he realized until this moment. Everything up until 'bout a half hour ago was pretty...enjoyable.

"Oh...yeah. Thanks for coming...and for tonight.  And for taking Ella out and stuff. I think she's in love with you." Glenn huffs a laugh and smiles weakly.

Daryl blinks, not knowing how to respond to that. So he asks, "Are you okay gettin' back to school?"

"Hmm, yeah, my mom or dad will take me. Uh.  Really, thanks for everything this weekend." Glenn smiles again, but it still doesn't reach his eyes.

Daryl nods, and turns away to get ready for bed. He just wants to get to sleep and then get the hell gone in the morning. He's doing the right thing he thinks as he's brushing his teeth. Because, while he had a good time, he doesn't think he can take any more of this - getting to know Glenn and his family. He's better off not getting too comfortable. _Don't get attached,_ a voice in his head says, _You're jus gonna miss it when it's gone._ He wants to be angry at himself for letting his guard down, but at this point he's just too exhausted to muster up the emotion.

When he gets out of the bathroom, Glenn's bedroom door is closed. He's still awake a half hour later when he hears Glenn washing up. Or maybe he dreams it. In his dreams, Glenn stops in the room to watch him sleep.

 

The next morning, Glenn's whole family gathers to say goodbye. Mrs. Rhee and Ella both give him hugs and Mr. Rhee shakes his hand once more. Daryl turns to say goodbye to Glenn but the kid has a huge cloth sack in his arms.

"Your laundry," Glenn says, but doesn't hand it over.

"Oh. Thanks." He had forgotten about it and apparently someone (Glenn? His mom?) did his wash for him. And had put it all in one of those laundry bags Glenn uses. He's about to say that he'll give it back to Glenn when he sees 'Dixon' written on it in pen. "Thanks," he says again, looking at Mrs. Rhee, then Mr. Rhee, then Ella.

He walks out to his truck and Glenn follows, the rest of the family staying inside. He puts his duffel in the truck bed and Glenn puts the laundry there too and they're staring at each other.

"I'll see ya at the room." Daryl finally says and turns to walk to the driver's side. He's not sure why, but he's moving slow, like he's walking through the slough near his home, the reeds and mud grabbing at his feet.

"I'm glad you came," Daryl hears Glenn's voice just before he gets into his truck. Daryl pauses and looks at Glenn, nods and says, "Glad I came too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So many notes. 1) I'm not really sure if an 18 year old can buy a bow and arrow set off the shelf at Walmart. Let's pretend he can. 2) I made them go bowling because Steven Yeun rocked Nerdist Celebrity Bowling vs. the Walking Dead. 3) Norman Reedus said he had a huge crush on Suzanne Somers, "Chrissy" in Three's Company. 4) If you don't already know, the 'weird' (to Daryl) drink I'm describing is called boba tea or bubble tea. The giant fish eggs are tapioca balls and are called pearls - as in, would you like your milk tea with or without pearls?  
> And 5) Please, please don't flame me for the gender roles in Glenn's family. I just kind of imagine them as 'traditional' and abiding by gender stereotypes, which in my mind accounts for some of Glenn's issues with them in other stories (maybe this one, I don't know) and is part of the reason he is afraid to come out to them.  
> Again, I had the little idea of the blind date and one thing led to another. I kind of felt like I had to describe the whole Thanksgiving weekend. I hope it turned out okay.
> 
> Posted 11/3/14


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Some things about this chapter:  
> The parts in italics between Glenn, Katie and Chrissy should be thought of as spoken in Korean. It's just a better flow than having translations.  
> Phone text typos are intentional. (Sort of. I'm not that into text acronyms since my phone tends to auto fill everything.)  
> Soju is a Korean distilled alcohol beverage.  
> Syngman Rhee was the first president of South Korea
> 
> Warning: More kissing. A tiny bit more descriptive this time. Sorry, forgot to put that in the last chapter warning.

On Thanksgiving morning Glenn wakes up to see Daryl heading out. When Glenn first invited him, Daryl told him he had to go somewhere to take care of some "business." Okay, Glenn mentally added the air quotes, but he had wondered about that all week. It sounded vaguely like he was going to be making some shady drug deal. Glenn chuckles at his wild imagination. But then, come to think of it, how well does he know his roommate anyway?

During the day, Glenn and Ella help their mom prepare for dinner while the Macy's parade is on TV in the background. When the food is pretty much done, they sprawl out in the family room watching a Man vs. Wild marathon on TV and texting with friends. When Daryl gets back from his thing he joins them, making knowledgeable comments about Bear's survival techniques. Like, Daryl could totally give Bear Grylls a run for his money Glenn thinks. He for one would watch the hell out of a TV show starring Daryl surviving in the wilderness.

Glenn's dad gets back from his meeting with business associates ("meeting," aka round of golf), and his mom calls them all to the table. Dinner is nice. Usually when it's just their family, they eat quickly and Glenn and Ella watch early Christmas specials or play video games in the family room while his dad watches Korean history programs in the living room and his mom cleans up in the kitchen. Since Daryl is their guest, they take their time and everything is a little more formal. Glenn notices his parents are dressed up and the food is served on the nice dishes.

Daryl has warmed up and chats with his parents. Well, maybe not chats, but readily answers their questions. When they're done eating, Daryl takes his plate into the kitchen and helps clear the table and even attempts to wash some dishes before Glenn's mom swats at him with a kitchen towel. Glenn can tell she is impressed. His dad invites them into the living room and Daryl and Glenn both sit on the couch. It's kind of weird since this is the kind of formal sitting his dad normally does with adults. He half expects his dad to call for his mom to pour them some Soju. As if on cue, Ella comes in with a tray of coffee. His mom brings the pie and they eat quietly until his dad notices Daryl looking at a framed snapshot from when they first arrived in the US. In it, Glenn is three and dressed in a horribly embarrassing pants suit (shorts suit? It has shorts and a big round white collar, ugh) with a bowl haircut. So his dad recounts the story of how they came here and surprisingly Daryl seems really interested. He asks some questions about Korea and then asks if they are related to Syngman Rhee. At Glenn's shocked look, Daryl ducks his head sheepishly. He mumbles, but Glenn can still hear, he saw the name when he was flipping through his history textbook. And now Glenn's dad is impressed as well.

Daryl spending the day with Ella is really going above and beyond. Okay, the comment about finding a store that sells guns is kind of scary. He wonders briefly if introducing someone like Daryl into Ella's life is a bad idea. But then seeing Daryl and Ella picking out a bow and arrow set together is just...mesmerizing. He's so enthralled that he buys the set even though he really should wait and ask his parents first.

And he's glad he did. Seeing how kind and patient Daryl is teaching Ella just melts his heart. There is a moment, after Daryl helps El set up her shot, that Daryl glances up at Glenn and their eyes meet. His breath catches and he swears he must grow a pair of ovaries because in that moment he wants to have babies with Daryl. Holy shit.

The blind date turns out to be the worst. idea. ever. At first it seems to be going okay. Fun even. Daryl's t-shirt has sleeves today, but you can still see his muscles flex every time he picks up the ball. And his ass...what a view. Glenn mentally pats himself on the back for suggesting bowling. The end of the date, however, is where things fall apart.

He helps Katie out of the car.

_I think they need some privacy._

_Wh..Are they talking?_

_No._ Katie smiles knowingly and closes the car door.

 _Oh._ Glenn thinks about Daryl kissing Chrissy. He's...sad. Not that, well, it's not that he thought he and Daryl... But it still sucks when you find out your crush likes someone else.

 _"I had a nice time."_ Katie smiles at him.

_"Me too. But we can't tell our moms this went well. They would just be encouraged to do it more."_

"I know! Okay, I had a horrible time. So did my friend. I can't believe we got set up with such jerks." She has a look of mock outrage on her face, then breaks into a smile.

"Whoa. Um, maybe we're not jerks, maybe you two are just uptight princesses that can't be pleased." He attempts to look disgusted.

They both chuckle.

_"I think your friend's getting lucky"._

_"WHAT?"_ Glenn turns and sees Daryl and Chrissy through the rear window kissing. Katie makes him turn away.

_"Don't look, perv. Would you want someone watching you?"_

_"Maybe we should, uh."_ Glenn gestures away from the car. They wander along the sidewalk a little further until they come to a tree in the parkway, moving under the canopy into the shadows. Glenn feels Katie's arms slip around his waist. She tilts her face up to him and smiles. He's a little startled by the physical contact, but it's nice. Nice to feel affection from someone other than his mom or sister, and he finds himself putting his arms around her. Leaning in. Then they're kissing, and maybe it's all the pent up tension of being around Daryl and not being able to do anything about it, but he's really getting into it. Their tongues explore each other's mouths and Glenn moves his hands so one's at her neck, running lightly over the soft skin there, and the other is pressing at the small of her back.

Katie's lips travel down across his jaw and onto his neck. Glenn opens his eyes and looks at the car again, but it's further away now so he can see movement but not details...and... _why_ is he torturing himself like this? Still, he keeps looking. He sees Daryl get out of the car and walk around to help Chrissy out. They're leaning against the car waiting so Glenn pushes on Katie's shoulder. She pulls away and looks up at him.

"Uh, maybe we should..." he gestures toward the car. She sees the other two waiting and nods. They walk back.

 _"How was it?"_ Katie gives Chrissy a raised eyebrow.

" _Hush. Older brother will say something."_ Chrissy smiles coyly at Glenn.

Glenn blinks. Yeah, he'd rather not hear any details.

They drop the girls at the door and start the drive back. The car is quiet. Maybe tense. Glenn wonders if Daryl might have been upset that they were speaking Korean and he couldn't understand.

"Uh. Katie was just asking Chrissy if she had a good time. Tonight. You know, when she was speaking Korean." He glances at Daryl who is staring out the window. Well, that wasn't _exactly_ what she said. Maybe Daryl can sense the half truth and so that's why he doesn't respond. Damn his horrible lying skills.

Daryl makes a sound, but nothing intelligible. Glenn figures he should shut up before he makes it worse.

Back at the house, Daryl says he's going home tomorrow. Glenn is sort of shocked. They had planned for him to stay the whole weekend so why the sudden change? He's...really sad. It actually felt like he and Daryl were starting to become friends but maybe he read too much into the situation. He goes into his room while Daryl is using the bathroom and texts Rick. Maybe Rick can cheer him up.

G: U busy?

R: No. How was ur date?

G: Fine. Great if straight

R: Ha. What did u do?

G: Bowling. Boba tea

R: Daryl have fun?

G: IDK. He's leaving tomorrow

R: So not good?

G: ?

R: Pix?

Glenn sends a picture he had taken of the four of them at the tea shop.

R: So girls r both Korean?

G: Yes

R: Daryl dated a Korean girl!

G: I know rite

R: Good. Maybe he's more tolerant now. Shit or less.

G: Shit or less?

R: Less tolerant. In warfare when one race conquers another they have sex w the women to assert dominance

G: What?! Nooooooo

R: Good going dumbass

G: FU. My moms fault

R: Or maybe ur creating one of those white guys who like only Asians. #asianfetish

G: Shit. Shit shit shit.

R: What do u care? You don't want Asian girls. He can have all he wants

G: I'm a traitor to my race. 2 my bros.

R: Yeah u r. Did u tell her ur gay?

G: No. Made out instead. FML

R: Srsly? No words.

G: Ur one to talk. How's Lori?

R: a. have not made out with her. b. could totally date a girl.

G: I could totally too

R: No. Just no.

G: STFU dick. What r u doing tomorrow?

R: Mom wants to put up xmas deco. Want to help?

G: Ill watch.

R: Lazy ass

They make plans to meet up on Saturday. Glenn can't hear any more sounds from the bathroom so quietly tiptoes over and brushes his teeth. On his way back he peeks into the family room. The lights are out but he can just see the outline of Daryl's face and hear his even breathing. He watches for just a minute. Not being creepy, just checking to make sure he's...got enough blankets. Glenn goes to sleep still trying to figure out why Daryl wants to leave. Maybe he really does have to start a paper...

Daryl gets ready to leave in the morning and Glenn gathers his family to say goodbye. Ella hugs Daryl. Her arms go around his waist and her cheek presses against his chest and Glenn feels jealous he can't do the same. Instead he brings out Daryl's laundry, washed and folded. He follows Daryl out to his truck and puts it in the truck bed, then stands awkwardly, hands shoved in his pockets.

"I'll see ya back at the room," Daryl finally says and turns to get into his truck. Glenn wants to say something that will make Daryl change his mind and stay longer, wants to yell out 'Don't go!' But that would be so pathetic. Instead, he blurts out, "I'm glad you came." His face immediately gets hot and he has a sinking feeling in his stomach because it sounds so pitiful. He hears the longing in his own voice.

"Glad I came too," Daryl responds. Glenn hopes he really means it.

He mopes around the house the rest of the morning. His mom tries to get him to spill some details about the date so he tells her they went bowling and boba tea after. That's all she gets. Then he sees his mom's eyes narrow and lock onto his neck and he groans to himself. In the bathroom he checks his neck and yes, he has a hickey. Great. Not huge or anything, but unmistakable if you know what to look for. He tries to cover it up with some stuff he uses for pimples but that just makes the whole area look weird so he washes it off and decides to pretend it isn't there. His mom is bustling around the house all cheerful and smug. It pisses him off. He's mad at himself but it's easier to blame her. It's a good thing he made plans to get out of the house.

"Nice hickey!" Rick greets him later in the day when Glenn shows up at his door.

"Shhhh!" Glenn looks around to see if Rick's mom heard. Luckily he doesn't see her around.

"So, you're done with this whole gay thing, right? Going straight? You should sell your method. I hear a lot of parents want to turn their kids. You could make a lot of money." Rick laughs at Glenn's obvious misery.

"Fucker." Glenn punches him in the chest but Rick laughs it off like he doesn't feel anything.

They spend the afternoon putting up Christmas decorations and talking about Katie and Lori. (And how weird it that? They used to spend their time talking about _guys_ they were lusting after.) Actually, it's more about how Glenn can let Katie know he's not interested without saying he's gay - after all, he did make out with her, so she might be pretty pissed if he confessed something like that. Plus it could get back to his mom.

Rick talks about Lori, about how pretty she is, and nice, and smart. Glenn gets the feeling he's is putting on a show, but can't figure out why. Then again, he hasn't told Rick about his massive crush on Daryl. It feels weird not to tell his best friend about something that totally monopolizes his thoughts these days, but Rick is still wary of Daryl. Glenn knows if he admitted his feelings, Rick would get all serious and sit him down for a heart to heart talk about being careful, about trust and mutual respect, blah blah blah. And really, with Daryl being aloof, and distant and... _straight_ , there really isn't anything to tell.

How did his life get so complicated?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So just letting you know, the next update might take a lot longer. My writing is not flowing as easily and I have to organize my thoughts a bit more on how some events are going to fit together. Plus, writing this is totally distracting me from other things I should be doing, like, to lead a healthy and productive life. I think that's the definition of addiction. (Darlenn is ruining my life.) (But I don't care.)
> 
> Posted 11/10/14


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh lookie, still on schedule. I figured I just had to finish out the quarter. Speaking of which...The end of first quarter! Woo hoo! It's like I'm writing in real time because it took me 3 months to get to this point. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me!  
> 

Daryl is relieved to get back to the dorm. He ignores the urge to brood over Glenn, and is able to force himself back into the routine of schoolwork. After all, he's gotten pretty good at denying his feelings for the past quarter, what's another few months?

The time when classes are winding down but before finals start is called Dead Week. It's a chance to study or catch up on reading and finish term papers. Glenn tries to get him to go to some activity in the Rec Center, Dawn of the Dead Week or some shit, but Daryl scoffs. He doesn't need to blow off steam (and spending more time with Glenn won't accomplish that anyway). It's time he can use to study.

When finals draw even closer the students start getting weird. Every night at midnight there's a tradition. He is in the library and sees other students all stand and walk towards the exit. All at once like they're possessed or something. Then he hears the sound, an awful cacophony of screams. Scares the shit outa him. He jumps to his feet wishing he had his crossbow. The sound grows and reverberates around the stacks. After a few confused seconds he realizes it's just yelling, just students venting their frustrations. The scream ends and students file back into the library, take their seats and continue studying like nothing happened.

Some start pulling all-nighters, then stumble around with bloodshot eyes and sickly pale faces, moaning and groaning until they get their morning -or midday or midnight- coffee. During the actual week of finals Carol organizes dorm study breaks. Hot cocoa and s'mores one night, nachos another, chocolate chip cookies the third night. She even posts flyers offering emergency laundry service. He feels like telling her to stop worrying about everyone else, to take care of herself, but he doesn't really know her so doesn't bother. She can run herself ragged if she wants.

He finishes his finals and feels pretty relieved. Of course, there's no telling what your professors might think of your writing or the ideas you came up with in your test essays. It's possible he botched his calculus final but doesn't think so. He's never taken finals at the college level, but if he learned anything growing up, it's that he can handle school. Just stick his nose in a book and keep his head down. Long as his daddy or Merle didn't catch him at it he was fine. He won't know his grades for a few weeks, but he's pretty sure he'll keep his scholarship as far as grades are concerned.

He works a few extra shifts at the dining service to make a little extra money and then it's time to pack up and go home. He takes what he'll need for the three weeks and is about to go after his truck when Glenn stops him.

"Hey, uh, I have something...for you...for, um, Christmas." Glenn is holding out a package. It's the size of a shoebox and wrapped in red paper, with a green ribbon and everything.

"What?" He looks at it and glares. "You shouldn't a got me anythin'." He's pissed and...embarrassed.

"No, no. It's - it's just - just something small. Um, Ella wanted me to give you something, so I... She asked me to. And my mom helped..."

At the mention of Ella and his mom, Daryl relaxes just the tiniest bit. "Oh." He takes the package and looks at it, wondering what it could be.

"S-so have a good Christmas." Glenn smiles.

"Yeah, you too."

They stand awkwardly for a moment until Glenn takes a hesitant step forward. At that movement Daryl flinches and he sees Glenn's eyes go wide. The kid steps back and turns away, busying himself with his bags.

Daryl picks up his duffel and swallows around the lump that's risen in his throat. He goes to his car and drives home.

Once he's home he doesn't bother getting the electric company to turn on the power. He has the propane tank and that's enough for hot showers and cooking, and he has lanterns for light. He hunts most days, since it keeps him occupied. He tinkers a bit on Merle's motorcycle. After a while he gets restless. He thinks about Glenn and wonders what he's doing. The kid told him he was going to Michigan with his parents to see family. He imagines Glenn bundled up against the cold in one of those thick puffy winter coats.  

The package, the Christmas present from Glenn sits on the kitchen counter. He picks it up occasionally. The only presents he ever got were from Merle or his mama. His mama had given him toys, stuffed animals, toy trucks and cars, but those had all burned in the fire. Over the years Merle had gotten him a slingshot, the crossbow, a pistol, and a rifle. When he was older, smokes, whiskey, and girlie magazines.

He visits Merle on Christmas. He notices his brother is getting ripped and has a few new tattoos.

When he gets back from the prison he takes the gift and sits on the sofa, turning it in his hands. He doesn't know why but he waits until after dinner and then finally opens it. It's a dopp kit, a leather bag for toiletries. He vaguely remembers his dad having one, and Merle has one from the army, M. DIXON penned onto the canvas. It's...thoughtful and practical, just what a gift should be.

He feels really bad that he didn't get Glenn anything. But what could he even get the kid? Daryl thinks about all the stuff Glenn has back at the room and at his house. Then he starts thinking about the weekend with Glenn’s family at Thanksgiving. He imagines how ridiculous it would be to invite Glenn here. What would they do? Go hunting? Camp in the woods? Cook over a fire? He’s surprised that it doesn’t seem so ridiculous, more like something he would really enjoy. Maybe Glenn would too. He looks around the house though, and thinks he couldn’t have Glenn over when it looks like this.

He spends the rest of his winter break working on the house. He repairs the hanging shutters and missing shingles in the roof. Nails in loose boards on the porch and siding. Touches up the chips in the paint that look the worst. Sweeps out the entire house. Buys new cleaning products and cleans the kitchen and bathroom and windows. Drives into town to throw out a bunch of shit that belonged to his parents. Collects Merle’s stuff and puts it all in Merle’s room. It’s still a pretty shitty house, he thinks when he's done, but at least it’s not a fuckin’ _dirty_ shitty house. Not that he'd ever get up the nerve to invite Glenn over. He's seen the type of home Glenn is used to.

What's worse is that he's seen the type of  _family_ Glenn is used to. The type of family you have to have to become a person like Glenn. You need a daddy who sits and talks to you about his country's history, not scare you with stories of killing people for the color of their skin. You need a mama who cooks dinners and sets you up on dates because she wants you to have a family of your own like the one you grew up in. Not one who is too timid and scared to get you away from your raging alcoholic father. Too weak to take care of herself so she can be around to see you grow up.

It's not so hard to forget about inviting Glenn over.

He plants a few seeds in the garden hoping the winter rains will make stuff grow that can survive without being tended, that he can harvest when he's back at spring break. At the end of the break the house never looked better. He locks it up and heads back to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So none of the colleges in Atlanta really fit my idea of where these guys are going. Georgia Tech is more tech than I wanted, Emory, while more liberal arts, doesn't have a football team. So I'm imagining a combination of the two. The traditions I describe here come from GT: the scream during dead week is called Midnight Madness (some other schools call it Primal Scream) and the activities night is called One Night Stand. I changed it to Dawn of the Dead Week to sound more zombie-ish.
> 
> Posted 11/16/14


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whew it's been a while. I traveled during US Thanksgiving week and didn't bring my laptop. Writing on my phone is just not as efficient. And ngl, I've been in a huge depression funk since the mid-season finale. Who's with me? When Robert Kirkman stated -officially- that Daryl Dixon is straight, I about bawled my eyes out! Kidding. But really, I've been questioning my ability to continue watching TWD - my poor heart just can't take it. T_T
> 
> Warning: Racist language because Merle. I'm sorry.  
> About this chapter: GE stands for General Education - required classes which are in diverse fields so you get a well rounded education. TA is Teaching Assistant.

Glenn gets back from break excited for the new quarter. He feels really good about how he did in finals last quarter and thinks he should thank Daryl for that. Plus, he even scored a solar USB charger for winning at Call of Duty during the Dawn of the Dead Week festivities. Winning cool tech gadgets for playing video games? More please.

Michigan was great too. He got to see family and hang out with cousins who he hadn't seen in a while. Also, he and Ella really scored on the Christmas gifts, each getting a new iPad in addition to video games and lots of new clothes and stuff. He thinks it's because his parents are in a good mood over being with family, and he figures the business must be doing pretty well too.

Back at the dorm, Glenn and Amy catch up from the break. They're sitting in her room, trying to find a class to complete their almost full schedules. But not really. Mostly it's just chatting.

"I've turned a new leaf," Glenn informs her. He's sitting on her bed, fanning through the course catalog but not looking at it.

"Good for you. Uh, what does that mean?" She gets up and starts rummaging around in a drawer.

"I'm through mooning over Daryl. I'm going to find someone else." It feels strange to actually say it out loud. Maybe the more he says it, the more he can convince himself it's true.

"Huh. I didn't know you were trying to get him. That was, like, the most subtle pursuit I've ever seen." Pause. "Is _that_ why you took him home with you?!" She looks over at him excitedly.

"It wasn't so much a pursuit as a...pathetic...pining, I guess. And, no. I told you that was my mom's idea."

"Oh." She sounds disappointed. Amy sits down at her desk with a bottle of nail polish. "What brought on this new...?" she waves the bottle in the air, unable to come up with the right word.

"Well, it's not like I can just wait around for him to turn gay. So why waste my time? Fish in the sea, right? I'm not getting any younger."

"Are you _sure_ he's not gay?" She starts painting her nails.

"Okay, first, have you seen him? Totally straight. And second, you know how my mom set us up on that blind date?"

"With the girls? Yeah."

"Yeah. At the end of the date I had to see him make out with her. That was, like, the most depressing thing I've ever seen." He shakes his head sadly.

"Not even sorta hot? That sounds like it could be hot."

"Uhh. Not even. You know, I don't know what would be worse. Daryl making out with a girl or a guy."

"It's better if its a guy, right? That means you'd have a chance."

"No, because that would mean he's gay, but doesn't like me."

"Oh yeah. That sucks."

"Ugh. And I have to remember to give him Chrissy's number. She wants to see him again." He comes to a horrible realization. "They'll probably have sex in our room!" Glenn groans and falls backwards on Amy's bed, throwing his arm over his eyes.

"Speaking of Daryl getting naked," Amy grins mischieviously, " _why_ is he always fully clothed when he goes to take a shower? I see him carrying his towel, but he's still got, like, jeans and a t-shirt on!" Amy fans one hand in the air, drying her nails.

Glenn struggles back into a sitting position. "I don't know. He's...modest?"

She snorts. Glenn is thoughtful. How has he never noticed it before? He's never seen Daryl in anything less than a t-shirt and jeans, and they're roommates! Maybe because Daryl's usually gone in the mornings before Glenn even wakes up, he'd always assumed Daryl just got undressed and changed while he was sleeping. Maybe he'll have to start waking up earlier. Or...not. Dammit. Why won't his stupid brain let him move on?

"Okay, I'm going to find someone too. Where should we start?" Amy changes the subject back to its original track.

"Hmm. More parties?"

"Ugh. Because that worked so well for us last quarter? No, I have to buckle down. My grades were just okay. Andrea wants me to get at least a 3.5 for law school applications."

"I thought you were doing Physical Therapy!"

"I am, just...she just wants me to keep my options open. _You_ know how it is."

He does. It's why he's still taking Chemistry as a pre-med requirement - to keep his parents happy.

Glenn has an idea, "Aren't there any hook-up classes?"

"What's that?" Amy looks confused.

"You know. Classes that are more social. Where you can meet people?" He's getting excited by his brilliant idea.

"Oh. I've heard people take ballroom dancing to find dates and stuff."

"Wouldn't that be for straight people? I'm just guessing. Plus, I'm not sure I'd be into a guy who takes ballroom dancing. Or one that would be interested in _me_ because I'm taking it."

"Okay, okay. Lemme ask around."

Amy talks to so many people, they soon have a good sized group ready to pick a class they can all take together. Glenn, Amy, Amy's roommate Jenny, Jacqui, Morales, Jim, Rick, Lori, Jenner, and Candace. Their agreement is it has to be fun and easy, and it would be nice if it could fulfill one of their general education requirements. They finally find the perfect class in American Youth Party Culture. It's a class in the psychology and pharmacology departments about the risky behavior teens engage in while partying. Shane suggested it. In fact, he's taking it. A lot of students are signing up for it because it actually encourages you to attend parties as part of your coursework.

Jenner's girlfriend Candace tried to get them all to take a new course, Infectious Disease; Spread and Containment. One of her post-doc friends developed it along with an app that uses phones to simulate the spread of a communicable disease. It's up to the students to track the disease and develop a containment and treatment plan based on what they learn in class. Jenner and Candace sign up for that class rather than going with the rest of the group. Glenn thinks that could be interesting, but compared to drinking and partying for homework, it's a no brainer. The others agree. Glenn asks the group if he can ask Daryl to join them, but Rick, Morales, and Jim are pretty skeptical so he doesn't. It's okay, he realizes. With his new resolution, having Daryl in his class would just be a distraction. Apparently he temporarily forgot the whole point of taking this class in the first place.

* * *

Daryl sees Carol in the dining hall before classes start for winter quarter. He's just finishing up his lunch but she walks over and sits down next to him anyway.

"Shane told me about a class that sounds pretty fun. American Youth Party Culture. I'm taking it for my major but it also fills the social science GE. Do you want to join us? A bunch of other people in the dorm are taking it too."

He stands up and picks up his tray. "Am I the only one taking Zen around here?" He looks around the dining hall as if expecting someone to answer. He looks back at Carol and gives a small shrug with one shoulder. She smiles at him but it looks sad. He wishes she'd stop looking so sad all the time. But whatever. Fuck all he can do about that. He leaves to bus his tray.

xXx

Daryl walks into his Modern Zen class and takes a seat. Looking around, he doesn't see the instructor anywhere. He glances down at the syllabus, Theodore Douglas is the professor. There are a lot of students filling the room, considering this isn't an intro class. Daryl signed up for this class because he had read about Zen and other eastern religions and was curious enough to learn more. The reading list contains texts that he's already read but he figures it will help him to be familiar with the material. He had found a lot of it to be pretty esoteric when he read it the first time.

The students start getting restless even though it's just one minute past the start time. Finally, a bald, black man steps to the front of the class. He doesn't actually look too much older than the students. Maybe he's the TA?

"Hi, guys. This is Modern Zen. I am Theodore Douglas, but I go by T-Dog. You can call me Professor T-Dog, Professor T or Just T-Dog."

Daryl can't stop the snort that comes out. What kind of name is that? He sinks lower in his seat once he realizes people heard him but the professor looks directly at him. Fuck. Now he's on the shit list. He's embarrassed, didn't mean to screw this up so early. He can't help hearing Merle's voice in his head though. ("It's bad enough you gotta go to school with all these taco vendors. Now you're gonna take classes from _him_? I don't think so. That'll be the day...)

Luckily the professor moves on and continues talking. "This is an examination of the interpretation and practice of Zen as it has developed in the modern era, particularly the West. You do not want to be here if you want an in-depth study of classic Zen philosophy. You especially do not want to be here if you want to learn about motorcycles." He pauses and glances at Daryl.

"Speaking of which, has anyone read the book 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,' by Robert Pirsig?"

Daryl raises his hand just slightly above the small armrest desk. He looks around and a couple others have hands up.

"Okay, you can all start reading that as homework, to be discussed at a later time. But we are going to start with reading some source material on Zen." He holds up the book of spiral bound photocopied articles. "Specifically, excerpts from the Tao de Ching, the Chinese Buddhist Canon, Zen and Zen Classics, The Way of Zen, and The Three Pillars of Zen. Who has read any of these texts, even partially?"

Daryl again raises his hand, even lower this time. A few others do too. Professor T-Dog (Daryl scoffs inwardly at the name. He still can't get over how stupid it sounds for a professor) continues to give an overview of the course and emphasizes the importance of student participation in the discussion groups for determining grades. At this, Daryl reconsiders his decision to take the class. He's used to studying his ass off, then taking a test or writing a term paper. He doesn't want to worry about his ability to talk to others in order to get a good grade.

The professor asks him to stay after the rest of the class is dismissed. Actually walks up to his seat, somewhat blocking him from standing up, and asks him to stay. Other students leaving the room glance back at him and he gets a few smirks, guys probably thinking he's a dumbass. A few girls look at him with some sympathy though.

"So, you've read Pirsig. And some of the other texts. Which ones?"

Daryl glances through the reading list. "All of 'em."

"You've really read _all_ these texts?" It sounds like the professor doesn't believe him.

"What? You think I'm lyin?" Daryl can't help his reaction. He's defensive. Maybe it's because the professor seems so young. Maybe it's because he's got Merle talking in his head.

"What I mean is, if you've already read the whole course curriculum, maybe this isn't the class for you. You wouldn't be learning anything."

Daryl squirms. He's read them all, but that didn't necessarily mean he understood it all. His eyes cast down to the floor.

"I read all 'a Shakespeare too. Would you tell me ta not take any classes on Shakespeare?" He looks up and meets the professor's eyes. T-Dog seems to be considering what he said.

"What's your name?"

"Daryl."

Professor T-Dog looks at his class list and is quiet for a really long time. His brows knit together and he seems to be concentrating. Daryl wonders what he's thinking. Maybe he's figuring out how to kick him out of the class. Daryl is uncomfortable, but stays quiet.

Finally, after what feels like five minutes, the professor looks him directly in the eye, almost staring him down.

"Okay, Mr. Dixon. Try to keep your attitude in check. I'll see you next class." The professor picks up his papers and briefcase and leaves. Daryl sits for a moment, wondering if it's a good thing or not that he didn't get kicked out of the class.

* * *

T-Dog walks into his classroom from the back. He generally likes to observe the students a bit before revealing himself. It's a good size for an upper division course. His reputation is that he's a pretty cool professor so a lot of students like to take this class to fulfill the ethics requirement of the GE's even if they aren't going to major in Philosophy or Religious Studies. He recognizes that the students are starting to get restless so he steps to the front and waits for silence. It doesn't take long. He introduces himself and hears something unexpected. A snort. No, a _derisive_ snort. His eyes immediately find the student. Well. He is used to a certain amount of respect so this is surprising. _I guess this punk thinks he's the shit_ T thinks to himself. He moves on, while still keeping an eye on the troublemaker. Most likely the kid won't stay in the class. Not with that attitude. He even pauses and gives the student a chance to leave under the guise of this class not being what he thought it would be.

Surprisingly, the kid stays for the whole class. He even raises his hand as one of the few students who had read any of the texts they will be using. He has to wonder if this student is looking for an easy A in addition to a cool professor. Well, he's not going to get either here. T asks him to stay once he dismisses the rest of the students.

"You've really read all these texts?" He can't help the skepticism in his voice.

"What? You think I'm lyin?" The kid is offended. T studies his face, the sullen defiance. He really doesn't want to teach this kid. He likes to run his classes with a casual atmosphere, holding many of the discussion sections at his home in the faculty housing neighborhood. But he has a feeling he doesn't want to bring this kid into his home. It would be a shame to have to change his teaching style just to avoid one prick.

"What I mean is, if you've read the whole course curriculum, maybe this isn't the class for you. You wouldn't be learning anything."

The student looks uncomfortable and even more sullen and T thinks he's won the argument. Then,

"I read all 'a Shakespeare too. Would you tell me to not take any classes on Shakespeare?"

Huh. Fair point, but he wasn't going to admit he's wrong to a student. Not this one anyway.

"What's your name?" he asks to avoid getting further into that argument.

"Daryl."

T scans through the class list on the podium. His eyes fall on the name Daryl Dixon and - he feels the blood drain from his face.

Suddenly he's back in the north Georgia mountains, visiting his cousin Mike the summer they are both 15. They're walking through the woods having wandered quite far from Mike's house. They had followed a stream and were talking about girls, like they always did when they got together ever since they 'd discovered girls, and weren't paying attention to their surroundings. Suddenly they hear the sound of a rifle cocking. There's a tall, gangly white kid wearing a ratty wife-beater, black leather vest and jeans, casually holding the gun down by his hip, pointed at them. He's smiling, but it looks mean - more of a sneer than a smile. There's also a little kid, maybe four or five years old standing next to him. The kid is wearing a pair of cutoff overalls with no shirt, his feet are bare and he has a slingshot in hand. He's even dirtier than the older brother - or daddy? There is definitely a family resemblance and you never could tell with these backwoods mountain folk. The rundown house just visible set back from the stream completes the picture of near poverty.

"See that Derl? That there's bout the dumbest niggers yer ever gonna find. Wanderin' onto our own private property uninvited. We are well within our rights to shoot 'em dead on the spot. What'dya say?" He nudges the kid with his elbow. The kid just stares with mean eyes.

Theodore's heart (he wouldn't go by T-Dog for a few years) is beating a mile a minute and he's broken out into a cold sweat. He can feel the drips running down his scalp and back. The moving air of the forest sends a chill down his spine. His cousin raises both his hands and Theodore follows suit.

"We're sorry Mr. Dixon. We were walking and didn't realize we'd crossed into your property. We'll just go back." Mike is speaking respectfully and slowly begins to back away.

"Hey now, wait a minute. I think you owe us a little restitution fer tresspassin'. That means payment. Whada ya have?"

"We don't have anything, sir."

"Mm hmm," he sneers. "I know ya'll are lyin'. You oughta be more polite to a man with a gun. Only common sense. Let's see ya turn out yer pockets."

T grimaces. He has a twenty in his wallet and so does Mike. They were planning on going to the movies later. Mike nods at Theodore and they both get out their wallets and hold them open. The redneck snatches the bills out and spits on the ground near T's feet. He hands the money to the younger boy who takes it hesitantly. The kid looks at them with wide eyes. Mike grabs T's arm and hauls him away, but not before T gets a good look at the little kid. He's got white blond hair framing a dirty face and a mole near the corner of his mouth. He wonders what kind of psychopath that kid is going to become.

"Oooweee. Lookit that Derl. Jackpot! Wanna have some fun tonight?" Theodore can hear him whooping it up as they hurry away.

It wasn't the money. Their daddies gave them more when they got home and told them what happened. They also got a lecture on being aware of your surroundings and not wandering onto other people's property and about _being black in America_. Not the first time they heard that one, and it wouldn't be the last.

Mike later told him the older guy was Merle Dixon, local redneck hooligan and possible member of the Aryan Brotherhood. T remembers the name even now because at the time he recalled Merle calling the younger boy 'Derl', like it rhymed with 'girl'. He thought to himself, 'Merle and Derl Dixon. Those stupid white folk sure come up with the dumbest names.' And here was Daryl Dixon, about the right age for it to be that little kid all those years ago, about to take his class. He looks at Daryl. His hair is darker, a dirty brown, but the mole above his mouth is the same. And that sullen glare. It's him.

T-Dog wonders vaguely what happened to Merle. (T and his cousin both attended Duke. T got his PhD in Religious Studies and his cousin is in his pediatric cardiology residency now.) He could easily request that Daryl not to take this class or even flat out stop him from taking it. He doesn't hold a grudge about twenty dollars from fifteen years ago, doesn't want revenge or anything. In fact, something makes him want to find out about that little kid. Sociologically, it would be interesting to see how a dirt poor kid, raised in a racist and criminally influenced household got it together enough to make it to a good college. He's going to have to keep his eye on Derl Dixon, possible psychopath, Aryan Brotherhood trainee, or whatever he turned out to be.

"Okay, Mr. Dixon. Try to keep your attitude in check. I'll see you next class." T grabs his stuff and walks out, leaving Daryl sitting in the classroom.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really wanted Glenn to win a BioLite Camp Stove but that's not as useful in this setting as a plain ol' solar charger. But both would come in handy if the ZA eventually happens in this verse. Or if he goes camping with Daryl! Not saying it will happen, just...*waves hand vaguely*  
> You may have noticed that this is a college AU but I'm totally avoiding writing about any actual classes. I'm just no good at it. Ha ha. So I really apologize for my lame description of the Zen class. Zen is not something I've studied or am familiar with at all. It just made sense to me that Daryl would take that class and that T-Dog would be a professor of Religious Studies. So I'm faking my way through. :/ Plus, 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'??? Is that not just the perfect book for Daryl? Okay, okay...I know that book's not really about Zen, but the class is supposed to include _western interpretation_. Or whatever. Feel free to let me know if I'm making huge mistakes or misrepresenting college stuff or...anything really.  
>  I think the next post will take a while also, what with Christmas coming up. So in case I don't post before then, Happy Holidays!
> 
> Posted 12/8/14


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, I know. Posting on Christmas...I have no life. You're right.
> 
> So, duuuude. I messed up on Amy's major. I misremembered her Wikipedia entry as saying she's in Physical Therapy, but it actually says Physical Education. Blargh! Oh well. PT probably fits my story better.
> 
> Warning: There will be talk about sex, sex acts, drugs, alcohol, condoms, etc. because of the party class. And because of Glenn. And someone else. You'll see.

American Youth Party Culture, or the Party Class as the kids refer to it, is really cool. It covers the risky - and yes, fun - aspects of party behavior, drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, all the usual things you think of, but also the problems that arise from said behaviors. It's not the happy go lucky class he thought it would be, but that's okay. Glenn's glad these are things that someone is paying attention to and studying. Their professor is Bob Stookey, a medical doctor and specialist in addiction medicine. He says he started research on these topics because of the escalating problems in the party scene which seem to be getting worse among younger and younger kids.

At the first class Glenn looks around for a potential new crush. There are some attractive guys, but no one stands out right away.  That's okay. Sometimes you have to get to know a person before you get really interested. Lori sits next to Rick and Shane seems pissed; he takes a seat right behind them and glares at Lori the whole class. Glenn is worried this will go on for the whole quarter but Shane moves on the next day, sitting at the front of the class and chatting with the TA. It looks like he's flirting. The TA thinks so too if the way she giggles and bats her eyes at him is any indication. Glenn marvels at Shane's ability to turn on the charm with both guys and girls, and is relieved he's decided to leave Rick and Lori alone.

The class will have one mid-term, the final, and one group term project. The project will be a lot of data collection and research and will culminate in a final presentation. The second week they are divided into smaller groups; the TA calls off the names in each group and lo and behold, Shane and Rick are in the same group, separate from Lori. Did he schmooze up the TA to get her to do that?! Glenn is disappointingly separated from all the friends he signed up with. Maybe that's for the best. There are ten people in his small group and half are girls. If he hopes to meet someone in class this is the best place, but with five guys the odds are not great that any will be gay. Any others. All by himself he makes his group of guys twenty percent gay! The statistic everyone likes to quote is ten, so they're already above average. But still, you never know.

His group decides to get together once a week. An upperclassman, Donna, lives in a dorm suite so offers up her place for the meetings. They squeeze into the small living room, sitting wherever they can find space. Glenn sits on the floor next to a guy who introduces himself as Miguel.

They need to decide on a topic so the first meeting is all about that. The conversation drifts towards situations that college students are more likely to encounter. Less teen pregnancies but more STDs, blackouts, date rape.

They zero in on safe sex. Why people at parties are so willing to participate in unsafe sex as long as they are sure a pregnancy will not occur. They talk a lot about fingering and blowjobs. Glenn tries and fails not to imagine going down on all the guys in his group.

Speaking of...well, since the project topic is already chosen, he starts up a side conversation with Miguel. They keep their voices down, because the others are still planning out the research, but their talk turns to video games and Glenn gets excited. They already have something in common.

"Yeah!" Glenn agrees with Miguel about looking forward to playing Silent Hills.

"Great, Glenn. Thanks!" Donna says and smiles at him.

"Wha?" he looks back to the group, confused.

"For going to the campus pharmacy. Find out what kind of protection is available. You'll go, right?"

Glenn is a little sheepish, it's his own fault for not paying attention. For trying to flirt when there is work to be done.

"Sure. Anyone want to go with me?" He looks at Miguel. Then he sees the moment of recognition in Miguel's eyes; a slight frown just before turning away. Shit. Not gay and probably a little homophobic.

"I'll go with you." The soft drawl comes from the girl next to him. Meg- no, Maggie he remembers her saying. He gives her a weak smile and tries to hide any disappointment on his face.

So, a condom run with Maggie. Great.

 

They agree to meet at the student health center after their classes the next day. Glenn rides up on his skateboard and sees Maggie locking up her bicycle. They walk in together and find the shelves with the condoms. There seem to be a lot of choices; lubricated, non-oxynol 9, extra large, flavored, polyurethane, plus dental dams and lube.

He's about to take pictures of each item with his phone but Maggie starts grabbing stuff, one of each type, plus the silicone, oil and water based bottles of lube. Pretty soon her hands are full so she gives some to Glenn.

"Uh. What- what are we gonna do with, uh...with these?"

She gives him a smile like he should know. "Research."

Okay. Wait, what?

She's already at the register so he hurries to put his share down on the counter too. He gets out his wallet to pay but Maggie is in the middle of asking the clerk questions: Do you have any polyisoprene condoms? Any that are unlubricated? Why is there only one non-latex option when latex allergies are so common, and dangerous? Shouldn't they have a sign noting which lubricants can be used with which condoms?

The clerk doesn't have any satisfactory answers for her so she shakes her head and waves her hand at the pile, indicating she's ready to pay. Glenn gives her money to chip in for half.

They walk out and Glenn can't help but comment, "That was- that was pretty impressive. You know a lot of- a lot about..." He stops, not sure how to finish.

She chuckles. "Yeah, my daddy's a vet. We grew up helping out on the farm, so sex and reproduction were pretty matter-of-fact. By the time my parents gave me the talk there wasn't too much to explain. They had a lot of time to talk about protection. Not that I learned all that from them! They just...taught me to be prepared."

"Eeesh. My parents gave me a book to read. When they asked if I had any questions I could tell they hoped I didn't."

Maggie laughs and bumps shoulders with him.

"Hey, you wanna come over to my room? We can write this up and come up with suggestions for student health." She's looking at him with her chin tilted down, one eyebrow arched in question. Glenn notices just now that she's kind of pretty. Actually, _really_ pretty, if you're into that.

"Uh, sure." He's done with classes for the day so he doesn't have anything better to do. "Where do you live?"

"Brown." The all girls dorm. It's all the way across campus.

"I'm in Caldwell. You want to come to my place instead?" His place is waaay closer.

"Sure." She looks really happy as she puts the bag of condoms into her backpack.

They ride to the dorm, Glenn on his skateboard and Maggie riding slowly next to him on her bicycle. At the room he unlocks and holds the door open for her and she walks in, looking around. Once he stashes his board under his bed Maggie sits on it, then empties the bag of condoms and picks through the packets.

"Pretty pathetic, right?"

"Uh, yeah?" He's not really sure what she means.

"I mean, they're a good price, don't get me wrong. Like, you could actually afford to have a sex life. But the selection is horrible. If you're allergic to latex you only have one choice and it doesn't come in sizes..."

Glenn is a little dumbfounded. He had a couple of condoms he got for free a year ago at a community health fair. He didn't bother reading the package to find out what _type_ they were. He just kind of figured a condom is a condom.

"I mean, it's no wonder kids don't use condoms. If a girl's gonna go down on you, would you stop her and put on a condom? And so it's up to the girl, but girls don't want to because latex is like, yuck...or maybe it's an acquired taste. And it's embarrassing to carry 'em around..."

He's sitting at the head of his bed looking across the pile of condoms at her. Maggie is pretty worked up. There's a pink tinge to her cheeks.

"Should we write this up? You're making good points." At least they sound good to him.

"Yeah, sure." She smiles. She keeps smiling at him and it's unnerving. He finds himself constantly smiling back and it's making his cheeks hurt.

He leans down and grabs his backpack from the floor, taking his laptop out. He scoots back so he can lean against the wall and Maggie scoots over to sit next to him. At her suggestion, he looks up some websites that sell condoms. She's pressed up against his side and they're essentially surfing adult novelty store websites when Daryl walks into the room. Glenn feels his whole body flush hot. He wonders if Maggie will notice.

Daryl looks at Glenn, then at Maggie, then at the pile of condoms and lube on the bed.

"Daryl, this is Maggie!" Glenn hopes to head off any awkward questions with introductions. His voice comes out too loud though, sounding panicked.

"Hi, Daryl." Maggie flutters her fingers at him.

Daryl raises an eyebrow and lifts his chin at her and turns to put his backpack by his desk. He throws his leather jacket over the back of his chair and glances one last time at them as he leaves the room.

Maggie looks at the closed door. "He's not very friendly, is he?"

"Uh. He takes a while to warm up."

"How long?"

"I don't know. A year?"

Maggie laughs because she thinks he's kidding and slaps his shoulder lightly. Her hand slides down and stays on his arm. After a while he kind of wishes she would move it, it tickles when he types.

They make a list of the different kinds of condoms the health center carries, and the types available through retail and online stores including price comparisons, and then make a list recommending what the health center _should_ carry.

"Geez, I never knew condoms were so expensive." Glenn is looking at the prices he's entered into the spreadsheet.

Maggie looks at him thoughtfully and nods. It slowly dawns on Glenn that he basically just admitted to her that he's a virgin. At least, he's someone who never bought condoms before. So, total virgin. Now his heart is pounding in his chest and he knows his face is blazing red. He can't even look at her anymore, so he focuses on his laptop, trying to find some more information he can add to their spreadsheet...something... _anything._

"Yeah, it's nice that you can get them for free so many places on campus. Let's add that to our write up." She says it in a gentle voice. He imagines her using that voice to calm a spooked animal on her farm. He sneaks a glance at her and she's not looking at him, but he knows she's totally giving him an out, and...it's really nice. Really nice of her. He looks up the free condom spots on campus and he adds the locations and a map to their data. They finish up by making a list of reasons people might have for not using protection.

"I think that's a good start," Maggie says as she stands up and stretches. "I should get back for dinner before it closes. Thanks for doing this. It was fun."

Glenn is momentarily distracted by the flash of skin he sees as her shirt rides up, but comes back to himself enough to realize he should invite her to dinner.

"Uh, you want to get dinner here?"

"Yeah. Tha'd be nice." It's that gentle voice again, but he doesn't have time to analyze why she's using it because he's busy mentally patting himself on the back. Normally, he would have let her comment about dinner fly right over his head, but it seems he's becoming more socially adept.

They go down to the dining hall and Glenn sees Daryl working the food line. There's no avoiding him, unless he doesn't want to eat so he gets in line behind Maggie. She says hi to Daryl again and he stares at her, pretty coldly if you ask Glenn.

"Hi Daryl. Can I have the pasta?" he asks hesitantly. He half expects Daryl to spit in his food with the way he's glaring. Daryl slaps the pasta onto a plate and holds it out, not looking at Glenn at all. Whatever. He can't keep up with Daryl's mood swings.

They bring their trays to the table where Amy and her roommate Jenny are already eating and he makes the introductions. They talk about the Party Class and their group projects. Amy's group is looking at social media and video exhibitionism and exploitation. Jenny's group hasn't met yet, but she's glad to find out what others are doing so they won't duplicate topics if they can help it.

The conversation moves on and he finds out that Maggie is taking pre-med classes too - they're in the same Chemistry class. She's not sure if she wants to become a vet like her dad, or a doctor or maybe a pharmacist, but most of the requirements are the same so she'll have time to decide later.

She asks Glenn about himself so he tells her about growing up in Michigan and about coming to Atlanta for his parents' business, but without the part about money problems.

After dinner they go back to the room and she picks up her bags. The pile of condoms is still on the bed.

"Uh. What about...these?" he asks, scooping them back into the bag. "You want to take them?"

"We can keep them here. I'll swing by if I need them." She has a funny smile this time, like they're sharing a secret. He's sure he looks confused.

It's completely dark out when he walks her to her bike and he remembers she has to ride across campus. "Do you want me to ride with you back to your dorm? It's pretty far."

He's not so sure what to do in these situations. He knows from worrying about his sister that going places alone at night can be dangerous for girls- uh, _women_. But sometimes women will get upset if you want to escort them places, like you're implying they are weak or fragile, or not equal to men. Maggie looks surprised he offered.

"No, I'll be fine. Thanks. That's really nice of you."

"Oh, okay. Can you- can you text me when you get home so I know you made it okay?"

She looks at him with her eyes wide and suddenly pulls him into a quick hug.

"You're so sweet," she says into his ear.

He's a little stunned as he watches her ride away.

 

He's reading the labels on the condoms and lube when he gets her text later that she's back in her room.

Maggie: Made it back. Thx

Glenn: Great. See u in class

She must take that as an invitation because the next day she seeks him out and sits next to him. And the next day too. She sits next to him every day, both in Chemistry and the Party Class. He's not really sure what to make of it, so he doesn't. Make anything of it that is. She's just a friend. If he keeps his interactions with her strictly platonic she'll get the picture. He feels pretty safe since he's the guy: Girls don't usually make the first move, he thinks. So since he's not going to be hitting on her, nothing will happen, right? Right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted 12/25/14


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this update took so long...the Zen was giving me problems. The Zen ruined my Zen. Plus, I got distracted by reading a lot of Conphy. And making fanart. :/
> 
> About this chapter: 'Stacks' are units of shelving in libraries (basically, shelves. I didn't know this before I went to college.)
> 
> Warnings: domestic violence, very vague mention of attempted sexual molestation (like this warning is way more explicit than the mention) and stalker!Daryl.

Classes continue and things are back to normal. Well, back to normal for being in college, which sometimes Daryl still doesn't quite believe. He thinks he's found his rhythm though with only a small wrinkle. Kid had handed him a scrap of paper just after classes began with Chrissy's phone number. What the hell is supposed to do with it he wonders. Would probably be rude to ignore it, which he kind of wants to do, but he's worried she'll complain to Glenn's parents. What would he even say to her? He decides to text instead: 'It was nice meeting you...good luck in school.' Except she texts back that maybe they could get together again? He responds that he's pretty busy with school and work. She must get the hint because she doesn't mention going out again, but still sends a message every few days. He responds briefly to whatever she says, but tries not to add to the conversation. He's not sure how to cut her off without coming off like a dick so he puts up with the minor inconvenience of having to send a text every few days.

Other than that, things are going smoothly. He's even okay with his Zen class, after the disaster of the first day. He quickly figures out that the best way to prepare for class is to have several comments ready for discussion. It was a guarantee you had to give an opinion when Professor T-Dog called on you.

  
"Mr. Dixon, what are your thoughts on the First Noble Truth - life is suffering?"

"I think...it's truer for some people more than others? I mean, even Buddha didn't know any suffering until he was pretty old. And that wasn't even personal. Kinda...kinda like here."

"What do you mean?"

"A lot of people only know suffering from what they see on the news. Or think they're suffering 'cause...they got in an argument with their parents, or a guy they liked didn't ask 'em out."

"So some people don't actually suffer?"

"Well, who's to say what people really feel? But, I guess when you talk about losing someone you love, that happens to everyone, eventually. Then, yeah, everyone suffers."

  
"Mr. Dixon, what are your thoughts on 'emptiness' in the Zen tradition?"

"It's...it's a misleading word. I would say there isn't a word in English that can explain Zen emptiness. It's that everything is changing, everything is connected, everything is impermanent."

"So impermanent, ever-changing and inter-connected?"

"Yeah. Maybe 'never-ending' - or 'no beginning or end,' too."

"And how does understanding 'emptiness' help in achieving enlightenment?"

"Well, I guess if you know that anything you might form an attachment to isn't the same thing, is in a constant state of change, is just a part of everything else, you might be able to let go of your attachment. Maybe. So if you release your attachment, you can end suffering and achieve enlightenment."

  
"Mr. Dixon, what are your thoughts on Zen and it's view of family?"

"I think it's been tainted by Confucianism. The Buddhist teachings from India don't have all the filial piety shi- stuff that Chinese Buddhism does."

"So you don't believe in filial piety?"

"Psh. What if your daddy's a no-good sonofabitch? You gonna show respect to that kind of asshole? Zen at least, no encumbrances, no attachments. Your progress doesn't depend on anyone. You can be whatever you make yourself."

  
He's noticed Professor T-Dog has eased up on him. The slight feeling of hostility he got from the guy the first few classes has disappeared. Now, it's almost like he's any other student - except for the fact that he calls him 'Mr. Dixon'. Most other kids he refers to by their first names.

"Mr. Dixon, what are your thoughts on...?" It's getting so that when he finishes a passage from the reading assignment he asks himself what his thoughts are. At the library he drags a cushioned chair next to his usual study desk and once he finishes his calculus problem set and writing assignments, he sits and reads and thinks about Zen. It's a good study spot. The lighted table is in a narrow space, against the wall on one side and blocked from view by a wall of bookshelves on the other side. There are two other desks in the space but on most nights, except leading up to and during finals, they're empty.

One evening he's thinking about the pages he just read on the Eightfold Path when his attention is caught by movement between the shelves. Normally he wouldn't have noticed, but the new chair faces outward instead of sideways like the desk, plus something about the flash of color is familiar to him.

Faded red. The color of Glenn's baseball hat. Blue and white, the baseball shirt the kid had been wearing that day.

Daryl walks around a row of shelves, so only two stacks are between him and...whatever it is he's looking for. He leans down and pulls a book out of the shelf, so if anyone came by he wouldn't look like a creeper, peering between shelves. He sees a study room with a large table and a white board and a couple of cushioned chairs. The walls are all glass so everything is visible from the outside. He sees Glenn sitting at the table looking up at blondie who is standing at the whiteboard. Jacqui is also at the table with her head down, writing. Rick is sitting in a cushion chair reading with some girl on the floor in front of him, leaning against his legs. The whole gang. He can hear the muffled sounds of Glenn and blondie talking. Blondie turns back to the whiteboard and writes some chemistry formulas in blue marker.

Daryl stands there for a while, he's not sure how long. Stands there until he sees Glenn stand up and stretch. Shirt hitching up so he can see a strip of pale smooth skin, belly button and sharp hipbone. He hears the crinkle of paper and looks down to see a chunk of pages slightly crumpled by his clenching fingers. He smooths it out and looks back to the room. Glenn is heading for the door. Daryl quickly turns his back and pretends to read the book in his hands while he hears the door open and close. Not that it's likely Glenn would see him through two sets of stacks. When he thinks the coast is clear, he goes back to his usual chair and sits. He's too distracted to study though, so heads back to the dorm earlier than usual.

After that, he sees the group there most weekday evenings. Now when takes a break from studying by walking a lap around the library, his path takes him behind the stacks and he stands and watches for a bit. It feels pretty pathetic, but he can't help himself.

 

Daryl is leaving the library one night after his usual study session. It's the dead of winter which in Georgia means bracing cold weather if it's not raining. He pulls the front of his jean jacket and leather vest closed over his flannel shirt.

Carol is walking just ahead of him, but he doesn't say anything. If he offered to walk back to the dorm with her she'd probably expect him to talk or something. He follows at a distance so she won't notice him. What he does see is a huge dude falling into step behind her. He's tall with a prominent forehead and close cropped hair. He's probably a football player with the build he has, but the first impression that flashes in Daryl's mind is, crazily, Russian mob. He doesn't know how she doesn't notice him. The guy seems to block out the light from the street lamps as they walk through each circle of white. Daryl walks a little faster, feeling the predatory vibe from the guy. Carol approaches a street corner and turns her head to check for cars, sees the guy and screams. Daryl is about to break into a run when he hears her speak.

"Ed! You scared me! What are you doing here?" She walks up to him and puts her hand on his chest, stretching up to give him a kiss, but he doesn't lean down to meet her.

"Why didn't you answer yer phone?" He sounds pissed.

"Oh, my battery died and I didn't have the charger with me. I have a test tomorrow so I wanted to get in as much study time as possible. The dorm would've been too noisy, you know?"

Daryl slows down so he doesn't catch up, so he won't get noticed. Ed grabs Carol's upper arm and pulls her towards the dorm. He hears a muffled sound from Carol, maybe from pain, maybe from being manhandled. Daryl moves to step in but Ed lets go of her arm after a few seconds. Carol walks quickly to keep up with his long stride.

"I wanted to talk to ya."

"Is everything okay?"

"They're cuttin' my hours. I can't afford fewer shifts!"

"Well, maybe that's okay. You can concentrate on your classes-"

"Fuck. I tol ya I can't afford it!"

Daryl listens to Carol try to placate Ed and him yelling at her the rest of the way back to the dorm. Once they get inside, Ed seems to quiet down so Daryl doesn't feel bad about leaving them to it and going back to his room. He's about to turn in for the night, going to shut the light when he hears Ed yelling again. Daryl looks into the hallway to see what's up. He stands in his doorway and watches.

Ed has Carol by the arm again and is trying to pull her into the hall. She's resisting and still in her room, so he must not be using much force.

"I have a test tomorrow, Ed. I need to finish studying and then get some sleep!"

"Why can't you just help me," he leans in close to her, "after all I done for you?" he says more quietly.

Carol freezes, her eyes wide. After a moment her eyes close and her shoulders slump. "Okay, just...let me get my keys."

Daryl watches them walk side by side down the hall. Carol looks small next to Ed's big frame. Her arms are crossed in front of her, like she's hugging herself, making the space she takes up even smaller. Something about it doesn't sit right with Daryl so he follows them downstairs. He sees them moving through the hallway which will take them out through the lobby when he hears Carol again.

"Maybe we can pick up a job application- ."

Daryl sees Ed's hand fly in an arc and backhand Carol, clipping the side of her face and he's in motion before he even thinks about what he's doing. She stumbles into the wall holding her face as Daryl sprints towards them. He crouches low as he drives his shoulder into Ed's backside. It catches Ed off guard so he flies forward several steps until he hits the front door, his body pressed into the glass. Daryl holds him there while he raises his foot and kicks the bar, unlatching the door. When it swings open Ed falls onto the concrete outside. Daryl plants his foot on Ed's hip and shoves so his body is clear of the door and then quickly pulls it shut.

Carol is still cowering by the wall when he gets back to her.

"C'mon. We gotta tell Dale. Get you some help." He takes her hand carefully.

"No. I'm okay. I'll be fine."

"I gotta tell Dale-"

Ed starts pounding on the door. Daryl wraps his arm around Carol's shoulder and guides her around the corner, out of Ed's line of sight. Standing her under the hall light he crooks a finger under her chin and lifts her face, looking at the redness on her cheek and the fresh bruise blossoming underneath. He checks her eyes and sees that her pupils are the same, left and right.

"Can you wait here for me? I'll go tell Dale. I don't want someone to let him in."

She nods reluctantly.

Luckily, before he walks to the other end of the dorm he sees Shane.

"Shane, can you get rid of the guy at the front door? Carol's boyfriend. He-" Daryl pauses. He debates how much he should say.

"They got in a fight and the guy's a hothead. I think he's gonna cause trouble."

"Yeah, I know 'im. I'll handle it."

"Make sure he doesn't get in!"

Shane quirks an eyebrow. "Should I call campus police?"

Daryl shrugs one shoulder, "If it gets rid of him. Do we need to tell Dale?"

"I'll figure it out." Shane jogs off.

Daryl goes back to where he left Carol but she's not there. He curses and runs upstairs. She's just walking into her room when he gets to the top of the stairs. He runs up to her doorway.

"You should go to urgent care or somethin'."

"I'll be fine Daryl. It just barely grazed me."

"You mean 'he'. You mean 'he' just barely grazed ya. But it looks like he got ya alright."

"It was an accident. He was just upset over work and I was fightin' him."

Daryl sees his mama's face with bruises messily covered over with cheap makeup.

"That's no excuse."

"He's going through a lot of bad stuff right now and he wasn't himself. That's not him. It won't happen again."

Daryl nods slowly, but doesn't agree. He knows Carol knows this. She sighs and grabs his hand, pulling him into the room and closing the door.

"Ed's a good person. He helped me when I...was in a bad place." She's silent for so long, looking down at her hands, that Daryl thinks she's done. She takes a deep shaky breath.

"He protected me...from my stepfather." Her voice catches on her last words so they come out a whisper. She looks him in the eyes. "How can you repay that? I can't turn my back on him."

This time Daryl nods, nods through the queasy feeling in his stomach and even if he doesn't agree, he understands. Carol leans past him and opens the door.

"Thank you, Daryl. I'm gonna get some sleep."

"Yeah. Me too."

He goes back to his room, shuts the light and gets in bed but lays there not sleeping. His mind sees Carol and Ed walking one moment, then Ed flinging his arm around and catching her on the face the next. It was like that with his mama too. She'd be talking or doing something seemingly innocent and his daddy would haul off and slap her - for no reason it seemed. This, besides all the times he beat her when he really blamed her for something. Daryl sits up. What if someone else in the dorm comes in and unknowingly holds the door open for Ed? He changes into jeans and pulls on socks, shoes and his jacket and walks back to Carol's room. He leans his back against the wall and slides down to a sitting position, then stretches out his legs and crosses his arms and ankles. He stays there the night, dozing on and off, only going back to his room when he can hear her waking up and getting ready in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you haven't already, please check out #whyistayed and #whyileft on twitter. I'm not trying to hold my small little fic up to the seriousness and importance of this issue, just want to encourage awareness.
> 
> Posted 1/18/15


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About this chapter: LGBT is the acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender.
> 
> Warning: safe sex survey, sexual encounters, masturbation fantasy. This chapter has a pretty strong sexual content in general, but not really explicit I think. Just letting you know.

At the next group meeting for the Party Class, well first, Glenn notices Miguel sits across the room from him, but second, everyone is impressed with the information he and Maggie collected. As a result, the group decides to create an online survey about safe sex practices, trying to find out what the barriers are to using protection. While they brainstorm questions to ask, Glenn gets more and more uncomfortable about his lack of experience. From the things people say, you can tell they've had sex, like, a lot. He keeps his mouth shut so as not to reveal his virgin status.

Well, it's not like he hasn't done _anything_. But one make-out and grinding session and one mutual hand job isn't really anything to brag about.

He blames his glasses and somewhat late puberty for his delayed entry into the dating world. Rick had his growth spurt earlier than him, played some football and baseball, so did much better socially. Glenn played baseball too, but it didn't boost his popularity like it did for Rick. Apparently being a scrappy base stealer wasn't as sexy as playing first base. By the time he got taller, filled out and got contacts, everyone at school still thought of him as that nerdy kid and couldn't see him any other way. It made sense that his two hookups were with guys who didn't go to his school.

The online survey is finished a week later and Donna sends them all a link. They are supposed to try it out, entering different combinations of answers for a while until they decide to launch. That way they can find any problems and fix them before hand. Glenn is sitting alone in his room when he checks it out.

 

_Have you ever engaged in sexual activity at a party? For purposes of this survey, we will define sexual activity as the consensual interaction of two or more people with the aim of sexually arousing/climaxing for one or more parties._

_If yes, please answer the following questions for each instance (click 'add event' below for each sexual encounter.)_

_Had you had alcohol/drugs? Yes. No._

_If yes, were you: Drunk. Buzzed. High. Altered. Sleepy. Unconscious. Blacked out. Don't remember. Other._

_Did you practice safe sex? Yes. No. Don't remember. Not sure. No unsafe contact._

_If no, why? Didn't have any. Not readily available. Don't like the feeling/taste/other. He/she asked me not to. Didn't think about it. It detracts from experience. Worried moment will be ruined. Worried partner might back out. Other._

_Do you carry protection with you? Always. Sometimes. Never._

_What would make it more likely that you would use protection in the future (at a party)? Availability at party. Affordable condoms. Free condoms. Partner has protection. Partner insists. Better fit. Better sensation. Better taste. Other._

 

It continues, in the same vein, getting pretty explicit, inquiring about different types of sexual contact, body part combinations, and bodily secretions.

Glenn starts to answer the survey, based on his own experiences the first time. He'll make stuff up when he goes through it again.

_Have you ever engaged in sexual activity a party?_

Well...yes? A post season baseball thing could be called a party, right? It was actually at some guy's house where they went to hang out after the pizza party. He'll count it. Otherwise he'd have nothing to answer with. He made out with a guy, a cousin of a friend of a team member. They had both been in the garage looking for sodas when the guy's hand brushed Glenn's ass. When he turned around, they were face to face, the guy crowding him into the open refrigerator. Glenn remembered his name was Sean. Sean kissed him, pulling on his ass so their dicks pressed together with the most wonderful friction he'd ever felt. Okay, so it was the only friction he'd ever felt so far which was caused by _another person_ so of course it would be the best. He could ignore how his backside was freezing and pressed uncomfortably into a refrigerator shelf. Their tongues touched and licked and probed each other's mouths, and Sean's hips started thrusting against him. It all stopped abruptly when they heard voices at the door. Sean pulled back, grabbed a box of sodas and left the garage, leaving Glenn dazed and panting and...frustrated. They didn't exchange phone numbers, Sean didn't even talk to him the rest of the night. Glenn had been confused and disappointed. When he talked about it with Rick later, Rick supposed Sean wasn't out, or was maybe experimenting. Glenn was just unlucky (or lucky, depending on how he choose to look at it) to be on the receiving end of that experimentation.

 _Had you had alcohol/drugs? No._ He skips the next question and reads on.

 _Did you practice safe sex?_ He clicks 'No unsafe contact.'

Glenn sighs. He pictures other parties he's been to and again, woeful lack of action. The other time he'd hooked up, the hand job, had been on a van ride back from a church ski trip, heavy jackets piled in their laps, so not a party and not applicable to the questionnaire (though he might use it when he goes through the questionnaire again.)

Then he thinks back to the party at the beginning of the year with Daryl. He pictures Daryl pouring him the whisky that first night. Only instead of walking away to sit across the room, he imagines that Daryl stays.  Watches Glenn drink. Maybe moves in a little closer. He pictures Daryl crowding him against the wall, looking at him with that intense stare, only this time it's out of lust instead of anger. Imagines Daryl leaning in to talk directly into his ear so he can be heard above the noise of the party.

"You wanna go somewhere?"

He would nod and let Daryl take him by the hand. They'd walk through the house until they find an unoccupied room.  There'd be a bed that Glenn would move towards, but Daryl would catch him and pull him in for a kiss, right up against the door. He imagines Daryl grinding and thrusting his hips into Glenn's, hands reaching around to squeeze his ass. That wouldn't last long because they'd both want more. Then Daryl would step back and sink to his knees. Work open Glenn's pants and carefully lower them. Glenn would resist the urge to cover himself because Daryl would take him into his mouth -

Glenn opens his eyes. He's sitting on his bed, head tipped back against the wall with his knees drawn up and he's rubbing his hard-on through his jeans. His laptop is set to the side, forgotten. He really, really wants to unzip and pull his dick out but...  He squints at the door to make sure it's locked. It is, but that doesn't mean it's safe; Daryl can unlock it and walk in any time. So unless Glenn wants to get in bed in the middle of the day, or get himself to the bathroom or showers, he really shouldn't try to rub one out right now.  He tries to slow and quiet his breathing and remember if Daryl is in class, studying, or working right now.

Fuuuuck. He really needs to get laid. Maybe he should just get it over with instead of waiting for 'the right guy'. Then he wouldn't have to say he's a virgin and it would be at least some kind of experience, which might even help in the long run. But it's not like he has a lot of prospects right now. What he really needs to do is get involved in the gay scene at school, but that would require being out, like openly out. He thinks about Miguel's typical, yet fairly mild reaction to his flirting. Then he wonders how Daryl might react if he finds out his roommate is gay. With anger? Disgust? He remembers Daryl's sneers and name calling from those first few days of school and doesn't want to go back to that, to racist slurs with homophobic slurs added on top.

Glenn sighs and stretches his legs out on the bed. Prospects. He hasn't seen Jimmy since that second party he went to. They'd exchanged phone numbers but hadn't even texted each other. Glenn hadn't contacted Jimmy because, well, at the time he was kind of crushing on Daryl. Apparently Jimmy wasn't _that_ interested either. Glenn thought about texting now, but what would would he even say? _Hey, I know we met three months ago and i didn't text but would you be interested in something now?_ Yeah, right.

Surprisingly, next Glenn thinks about Maggie. She drops by a lot and seems to like him. She's also really pretty. He could totally have sex with a girl; as long as there's enough...friction, he could do it, right?

His phone chimes and he jumps. He pulls it out of his backpack and glances at the screen. Maggie. Wow. It's like the universe is telling him-

A loud knock at the door makes him really jump out of his skin. He may have yelled. The surprise and embarrassment makes his dick instantly limp (it was halfway there but this really finishes the job) so he climbs off the bed and opens the door. It's Shane.

"Hey, you wanna go lift?" Shane is wearing shorts and a tank top, muscles on full display, lifting straps hanging off his shoulder. Glenn wonders what it would be like to kiss Shane. Fuck. _Focus._

It takes him a couple of seconds to gather his wits and bring himself to the present. He doesn't have any more classes for the day. And even though he's sure Shane is just trying to get info on Rick, it's a good idea. He has to do something about his spaghetti arms. He's not like Daryl. It's been over three months in school and that guy still has amazing arms. Glenn has yet to see him lift anything other than his backpack! Maybe in the kitchens he lifts giant sacks of flour and rice or something. Anyway... _weightlifting_.

"Yeah, sure. Just let me get changed."

He texts Maggie that he's heading out - she was seeing if he wanted to get together to study - and then changes into shorts and cross trainers. They jog to the gym for some cardio and sure enough, Shane casually asks about Rick. He works it into the conversation but not _right_ away, like he's playing it cool. Glenn tells him Rick is seeing Lori. Shane looks skeptical but he can't argue. Through the rest of their casual conversation Glenn finds out that Shane is interested in becoming a police officer, or more accurately a sheriff's deputy back in the town where he grew up. But instead of majoring in Criminal Justice he's majoring in Psychology with a minor in Communications, so that he'll know more about human behavior. Also, good communication and writing skills will be a big help in his chosen career. Glenn thinks he should tell Rick these things, since he wants to be a cop too. (And _why_ isn't Rick interested in Shane? Oh yeah, Lori.) He also finds out that Shane is active with the LGBT student group. He doesn't ask Glenn to join, or indicate he knows Glenn is gay, so maybe being in the closet is working, probably a little too well. They work their chests, biceps and calves. Glenn can feel his muscles quivering, jelly-like as they walk back to the dorm. 

Even though he's not providing a good source of intel on Rick, Shane still stops by every few days to work out, so they end up at the gym fairly frequently. Shane knows his stuff and Glenn starts noticing some results.

In fact, all the new clothes he got over winter break start to feel tight. Not such a problem with his shirts, but man, his pants are starting to bind. And it's not like he can go home and get his old clothes, because they're the same size as these. He's never been this built. And he doesn't want to seem like a jerk to his parents and ask for new clothes already, so he just has to suck it up for a while, at least until the weather changes and he can reasonably ask for new stuff.

Maybe his new physique will help him find a boyfriend. It could happen! So even though it was just a hypothetical idea, he can put his plans to bed Maggie on hold for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Tight clothes because Steven Yeun complained about that once in an interview. And he totally got buff after second season. Rawr.
> 
> Posted 2/2/15


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: About this chapter: ROTC is the Reserve Officers' Training Corps in the United States in which a student receives a scholarship covering all or part of college tuition in return for an obligation of active military service after graduation.
> 
> Warning: Again with Carol's creepy stepfather.

After the thing with Ed, Daryl starts walking Carol to class and to the library and back whenever he can. At first she argues with him, telling him he doesn't need to waste his time on her, she's fine. He ignores her protests, doggedly finding her whenever he knows she is going out. Eventually she gives in, accepting the personal escort.

He meets her with a nod and they go where she needs. She doesn't try to force him to talk or anything. She talks about her classes and doesn't mind that his responses are one word utterances. She tells him about Ed. How he had several football scholarship offers, had been scouted by a lot of colleges with great programs. Early senior year before he had signed his intent he blew out his knee and lost them all. His fallback was to go to college through ROTC but can't qualify now because of his injury. So he's really frustrated; he had his life planned out a certain way and it feels like every door is being shut in his face. Daryl can see why he's mad. But still, it's no excuse to hit a woman.

They start to study in the library together. At first, they would walk to the entrance and then go their separate ways, but one day Carol surprises him by following him until they reach his study spot. She sets up at the desk next to his and after that it becomes their usual routine. It's a little easier, Daryl thinks. He doesn't have to wait for her outside the library when it's time to walk back. But he can't linger behind the stacks anymore, watching for Glenn, which is just as well. Waste of time anyway.

Carol eventually tells Daryl about her stepfather starting to take an interest in her when she was sixteen, trying to get her to go places with him, to get ice cream, to go to the movies, always touching her in some seemingly innocent way but with malicious intent in his eyes. She successfully avoided him for a while but knew she was running out of time and excuses. Once Ed became interested in her and started coming around to the house her stepfather had immediately backed off. Apparently he had more self preservation instincts than predatory urges. The way Daryl hears it, it doesn't sound like Ed did much. He's a big guy and Daryl is willing to bet Carol's stepfather is a weaselly little coward. It sounds like he left her alone out of fear of a beatdown from her thug of a boyfriend, rather than actual threats or violence. In Carol's eyes though, she would always be indebted to Ed for his "protection." And Ed doesn't let her forget it either. Well, as long as she wasn't hurt, Daryl thinks, Ed being there was probably a good thing. But now she has to be protected from Ed. Shit, what is it about girls like Carol that has guys lining up to hurt them?

One day they're in the library and Carol gets up and heads to the water fountain to refill her water bottle. It takes her longer than that simple task should, but Daryl waits, in case she decided to go to the bathroom too. When it takes too long for that and she hasn't returned he goes to find her. Her hushed voice and a guy's deeper voice catch his attention and he follows the sounds. Turns out it's Rick. He's about to go back the way he came but she spots him and waves him over. He walks up and nods at Rick who nods back.

"They have a study room. Let's go see," she whispers. It's not a question. She just assumes he'd want to go. He wonders what has happened in their... _association_ that makes her think this about him. Still, he goes along anyway.

"I found some stragglers," Rick announces them as they walk into the room.

Blondie, Jim, Jacqui and Glenn are there and smile and greet them enthusiastically.

"Hey, Daryl, do you have your calculus workbook?" Jacqui asks. "I wanted to get started on the problem set, but didn't bring mine." Turns out they're in calculus together - he hadn't noticed.

"Sure." He goes out to his desk and grabs the book and brings it back.

"Thanks," she says, taking the book from him. She glances through the window towards the direction he came from. "Where are you sitting? I'll bring it back to you." Daryl shifts uneasily. He doesn't want to say he's just around the stacks from here, at a desk where he can see Glenn if he leans just the right way.

"You guys should bring your stuff here. You can study with us." It's Glenn and he's looking at Daryl.

Carol pipes up, "You sure there's enough room?"

Everyone agrees and moves books and papers to clear space at the table. Carol immediately goes to get her stuff. Daryl joins the group too, but moving a little more slowly. He's not sure if he likes what's happening. Sure, it's less weird than sneaking around, stealing glances at Glenn through the stacks, but it's also more exposed. He's used to being on the outside, hidden...like when he's hunting. You stay silent, walk softly, try not to be seen. You don't just walk into a herd of deer, no matter how slow and quiet you move. You certainly don't sit next to one and wait until it notices you and...and is he really comparing Glenn to prey he's hunting?

Every time they go to the library after that Carol walks to the study room straight away. When Daryl is on his own he goes back to his hidden desk, still uncomfortable about being a part of the group - they only let him in because he's with Carol. But they end up in the study room most of the time. Carol pulls him along by the hand when he slows his steps or veers toward his old spot.

It's not as efficient, study-wise. Sometimes someone will pose a question and the whole group will discuss it and Daryl will pause his reading to watch them. Glenn gets really excited and animated when he's making an argument he notices. Sometimes blondie or Glenn, Rick or Carol will talk about that class they're all taking together and the others will join in. It must be a sex class, because that's what they keep talking about.

Sometimes that skinny brunette is there with Rick, clearly _with_ Rick. He wonders vaguely if Shane knows or cares. And sometimes Maggie is there, sitting close to Glenn, a part of that sex class too. Daryl finds he gets the most studying done when Maggie is there since he keeps his nose in his book, unwilling to look up to see her smiling at Glenn, touching his arm or leaning over his shoulder.

He learns things about the group - it's hard not to with how much they talk. Jacqui is studying to be a civil engineer after having a summer job in the city planning department in Atlanta. Blondie's major is physical therapy and she's from Florida. The girl Rick is with is named Lori. Maggie grew up on a farm and her daddy's a vet.

He learns that Glenn finished calculus in high school for college credit through a nearby junior college. That he's majoring in Psychology and his parents want him to go to med school but he'd really rather design video games for a living. He learns that Glenn studies at the desk with his head over a book, both elbows on the table and his hands raking through his hair. That, by the time he's done studying his hair is combed back from his face, slicked down smooth. Other times, if he's finding his work particularly difficult, Daryl can tell because he makes frustrated grunts and hisses when this happens, his hands will clench into fists pulling at his hair and the result is a messier, wild look.

All these things slow down his studying, sure, but the worst inefficiency of studying with the group, the most distracting thing is the fact that Glenn's clothes seem to be getting tighter as the days go by. And once he notices, it's all he can do not to stare. Glenn's shirts and sweaters are all snug and clinging to his pecs and biceps. But it's the pants that are the most problematic. They hug his ass in the most distracting way, pulling tight across his thighs, too. Even his package is...on display; hell, he can even tell which _side_ it's on. (The left, ususally.)

Fuuuuck. Daryl has to repeatedly shut down that train of thought before it gets out of hand. Before he gets a hard-on that someone might notice.

But that's not even the worst of his problems with Glenn. Because back at the dorm Glenn has started taking showers in the middle of the day. Several times a week Daryl will come back to the room to drop his backpack off before his work shift and Glenn will be just getting back from the showers. In a towel. Hair all dripping wet, sending drops of water sliding down his shoulders, over his back and chest and stomach. Christ. He wants to lick those drops of water off Glenn's body, chasing them down over his now well defined chest and stomach muscles before they soak into the towel hanging so loosely off his hips. Suddenly the one morning shower wank is not enough.

Ugh. He needs to get his head on straight. Luckily the next day is Saturday and he'll go to see Merle. Merle is always good for an attitude adjustment.

 

At the prison Daryl is quiet. He sits at the table listening to Merle's stories, nodding in the right places. Merle has become quite the leader, moving up the prison ranks in the two and a half years he's been there. Daryl's not sure if that's a good thing, though as long as it keeps Merle safe, he guesses he'll take it as a good thing. Merle stops talking mid sentence, probably noticing his brother's distracted replies.

He gives Daryl a considering look. “Why ya comin' ta see me all th' time?  Ya should be stayin’ at school more.”

“What, you don’t want me here?”

“Nah, bro. It’s just…you gotta hang out. Make connections. Someone there at that fancy school is gonna strike it rich ‘cause a some internet shit and you can be along for the ride. But you gotta know who’s who.” Merle leans back in his chair. “Me, you already know me – and I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” He opens his arms wide before clasping his hands behind his head. There’s a smirk on his face and Daryl has to tamp down the sadness that wells up in him. Merle is looking out for him, always has. He’s essentially telling Daryl to leave him behind in order to make his life better. It’s a different story from the lectures he used to get growing up. _Nothing’s more important than family. No one’s got your back ‘cept me. No one’s gonna love ya ‘cept me._ Maybe Merle is growing. He’s got lots of time to think on stuff like that. Maybe he wants Daryl to succeed so he can pull them both out of the gutter. At that, Daryl's first thought is to buckle down, study harder, don't get so distracted. But then...he realizes what Merle is actually telling him; get to know people, make friends. When did Merle become such a strategist?

 

Daryl stops visiting as often, going every third or fourth week instead of every week. He starts putting money into Merle’s commissary account. He figures it’s some of the gas money he’s saving by not having to drive there and back every Saturday. But not all of it. So now he has a little, a very little spending money.

One Friday the students in the dorm decide to go see Captain America. Daryl thinks that might be something Glenn would be into. Daryl’s overheard him talking to – no, _lecturing_ – Rick about superheroes and all that shit. And for once Daryl’s got enough money to go.

“Carol says some of them are goin’ to see Captain America tonight. You goin’?”

Glenn gives Daryl an incredulous look. “Ugh. No way, man! They fuck it up big time. I have the canon in my head and it would just bug the hell out of me the whole movie. I’d be, like ‘Hey, dumbass. You’re supposed to date _Bucky_ as Cap, not Steve!'

Daryl is confused. He squints at the kid. So he’s a fan, but doesn’t want to see it. Huh. What it boils down to is Glenn isn’t going. Might as well work on his English research paper then. He grabs his backpack.

“Are you – are you going to _study_? It’s Friday night! You should…” Glenn pauses, probably not sure what it is Daryl should do. "Get a life!”

That’s what he was fuckin' tryin’ ta do fer fucks sake! “Fuck you, short round.”

He hears Glenn sputtering as he leaves him standing in the room. That night he goes to the computer room to write his paper. And maybe he googles Captain America and reads some stuff on Marvel.com too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted 2/9/15


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, writing these next two chapters was really hard. I wondered if that meant I'm going in the wrong direction, but plugged along doggedly. I realize the next two chapters are very self indulgent on my part. It's a lot about the college experience and other stuff going on in my head - not about the Glenn/Daryl relationship. It may come across as preachy, pretty somber, and straying from the storyline. If this bothers you, feel free to skip it. Pick it up again at Chapter 19 (should be posting soon), and I should be back on track.

The room in the library Amy and Glenn find is the perfect place to study. They tell the group about it and it becomes their usual spot. It's nice to be able to study but also chat when the mood strikes. What's even better is that one day Carol shows up with Daryl. Glenn makes sure they stay. So now he can study and chat and sneak looks at Daryl. He tries not to be too obvious. He faces his book on the table, but looks at Daryl out of the corner of his eye. He watches him reading about Zen then look up and scratch his chin, stroking at the scruff there. Glenn imagines that scruff dragging against his face, his chest, his cock...

But after a while Glenn figures out that Carol is spending a lot of time with Daryl. A _lot._ They always arrive and leave the library at the same time. They're even - kind of - holding hands sometimes. So, they're becoming more than friends. Probably she's gotten to know him and realizes what a great guy he is. It's disappointing, but it was bound to happen. It's unrealistic that a hot guy like Daryl would be single for very long. But, like he learned over Thanksgiving break, it sucks to have to watch Daryl hooking up with someone else.

He sees them walking to the dorm one day, then Daryl says something and Carol smiles. Daryl turns around and walks back the way he came, leaving through the courtyard. Like he just walked her home or something. All that's missing is him handing Carol her books and giving her a kiss. Glenn feels a tightness in his chest which he knows is jealousy. He tries to ignore it. He shouldn't begrudge them a relationship. But he has to know.

He waits until Carol is alone at a lunch table and sits down with her.

"You've gotten through to him." He tries to make it sound casual.

She smiles at him, then pauses as if in thought. "A little. He's still not joining any activities, but I think...it's a start. Thanks for letting us study with you guys. I think that helps...being around people. I just hope nothing spooks him, y'know?"

"Are you guys..." he pauses. She waits for him to continue.

"What?" She doesn't know what he's getting at. He doesn't finish his sentence. Maybe he doesn't want to know the answer. If they are, would that make him want Daryl any less? Does he want to feel guilty in addition to frustrated?

"Are we what?" Carol asks again. Glenn tries to quickly think of something to say and is struck with a thought.

"I think I know something he might do."

"Yeah?"

"Something...with kids?" He thinks back to Daryl instructing Ella with the bow and arrow. Carol's smile lights up her face. She nods.

"I have an idea. Will you help?"

"Of course." Anything for...Carol.               

 

A week later Carol has a group of about thirty fourth and fifth graders in the dorm common room. They're there for a tutoring program that usually meets at the Public Service Center once a week. The kids are from southeast Atlanta, part of a federally funded after school program for disadvantaged youth. Carol got them to move the tutoring to their dorm for a few weeks. The group is sitting on the floor looking up at Carol sitting on a chair in front, reading to them for a short story time. There are college students there too, some setting up chairs around the room, some sitting and listening. Glenn is at the back of the room listening, but also keeping an eye on the front door.

A few minutes later Daryl walks in. This time Carol knew exactly when Daryl was going to be there. Glenn catches his eye and waves him over. Daryl pauses when he sees Glenn and slowly walks over.

"Carol asked if you could help. She needs more tutors for the kids." He sees Daryl scan the room. The kids are all focused on Carol. He nods and Glenn hands him an instruction sheet, some math worksheets and index cards. Success.

When Carol comes to the end of the chapter she closes the book.

"Okay. If you can, find your usual tutors today. If you don't see them here, let me know and I'll find you someone.

She brings two kids over to Glenn and two more to Daryl. Glenn finds seats and a table with his kids and starts working. He has them re-tell the story they heard, then make guesses about what might happen next. They then make flashcards of their vocabulary words which they hole punch and tie on a string and take turns quizzing each other. At the end they work on the math worksheets together, talking through the methods they use to solve the problems. He's actually really good at this stuff since he used to help Ella with her homework.

They meet in the dorm a couple more weeks and (once Carol is pretty sure Daryl is going to stick with the program) they move the meetings back to the Public Service Center.

Glenn is happy to see that Daryl still comes. If he thought watching Daryl studying was great, it's nothing compared to watching Daryl with kids. He's grumpy and gruff, like usual, but the kids don't let that deter them. They talk to him enthusiastically until he has no choice but to respond. They seem to be able to get him to open up when no one his age can do that. They even get a few smiles out of him. And the other kids seem to flock to him too. It's really adorable.

                                                                                    

xXx

 

It's over halfway through the quarter when he and Amy go to a party together, but not for fun this time. Amy's Party Class group is looking at social media use at parties, particularly the exhibition and exploitation of women. They create a flier that looks like a release contract for pictures taken at the party. It's meant to make people (women) think about what might happen with pictures taken of them...particularly if anyone decides to get naked, or drink until they pass out or something. The flier Amy brings reads, 'Images and video taken or recorded at this party, including personal identification information may be used for any purposes in any and all media, in all languages, media, formats and markets now known or hereafter devised.'

It kind of sucks that this is something they feel they need to bring to people's attention. Someone had brought up the idea of having people sign an agreement to treat people at the party respectfully, but it was quickly shot down for not having the pointedness or urgency of their current release. They do realize there might be backlash against them for doing this, both women thinking they are being patronized and others who think it would ruin the party atmosphere.

That's partly why Glenn is going to the party with Amy. And even though he wants to be helpful, he doesn't hand out the releases. They agreed having a document like that passed out by a guy might come across as predatory rather than thought provoking. He just stands with her in front of the dorm, available to answer questions anyone might have. He's chatting with a girl about the release, the intention behind making them, when he feels a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

"Dude, you need to stop handing out those fliers. The girls are feeling harassed. You need to leave."

Glenn turns around and is face to face with Jimmy. He's dumbstruck for a moment and the surprised look on Jimmy's face indicates he feels the same.

"Is- is this...your dorm? Are you- throwing...this party?"  He hears his own faltering voice and stuttered words and inwardly curses himself for his awkwardness.

"Yeah..." Jimmy pauses, looking at Glenn thoughtfully. "What are you doing here?" He glances at the papers in Glenn's hand. "Trying to pick up on girls? I'm pretty sure that isn't the way to do it. Though, what do I know?"

He grins. Glenn is just recovering from his surprise and trying to think of something witty, hell, _anything_ to say when Jimmy steps in closer.

"It's cool you're here. I... meant to call last quarter, last _year_ , but...." Jimmy shakes his head, grimaces and shrugs all at the same time.

"Yeah, me too." Glenn nods.

"So... you wanna drink or something?" He tips his head toward the door. Glenn nods, unable to form words. Jimmy takes him by the hand.

Glenn's breath catches in his throat as he lets himself be led along. Shit, he thinks. Shit, shit, shit... is this really happening? Oh my God, this is really going to happen! Images of making out with Jimmy, of grinding up on him, of sucking his dick, of having _his_ dick sucked are flashing through his brain. He comes back to himself just in time to wave at Amy, getting her attention as he goes in the front door. She smiles and gives him a thumbs up as he disappears inside.

Jimmy leads him to a table filled with bottles of alcohol.

"What do you want?" he asks. He has to lean in close to be heard over the music inside and Glenn can feel his breath hot against his cheek.

What does he want? Guh. Loaded question. He realizes he is still looking at Jimmy when he should be looking at the table, deciding on a drink. But... he really doesn't want to be drunk for his...well, possibly his first time. He's about to tell Jimmy he's good, when he hears a scream and then yelling coming from the patio. They both turn to the glass doors and see a crowd of people looking at something on the ground.

Jimmy drops his hand (he had still been holding Glenn's hand!) and heads outside. Glenn follows and sees the crowd pressing into a tight circle. Jimmy pushes his way to the center and there's a guy laying on the ground with blood dripping from his head onto the cement.

"What happened?!" Jimmy asks and looks around even as he kneels down to check the guy. Some other guy crouches down and talks into his ear. Glenn can only hear snatches of what's being said, but following the guy's wild gestures, it looks like the injured guy fell off a table or out of a tree or something.

He sees Jimmy gesture to a girl. "Rosita, go tell Abraham. We'll take him to emergency." The girl nods and moves away quickly.

Jimmy leans his head close to the guy on the ground. "Zach! Can you hear me?" Zach moans. "We need to take you to the emergency room. You think you can stand or should we call an ambulance?" Glenn sees the guy's limbs moving. He rolls over onto his back and moans again. His face is covered in blood, but Glenn remembers hearing that cuts on your face tend to bleed a lot without necessarily being serious. They wait while Zach pushes himself up to sitting, then Jimmy grabs him by the armpits and helps him stand.

Jimmy must be an RA. He's clearly handling the situation and was the one to confront them when they were passing out the fliers. His take charge demeanor is getting Glenn hot and bothered - even more so than before - but he knows he should forget about anything happening tonight since this emergency obviously takes priority over his sex life.

Jimmy and the other guy sling Zach's arms over each of their shoulders and help him walk out to the parking lot. Glenn is still following, but feels pretty silly at this point. He should just try to find Amy. So much for getting with Jimmy. He turns to go.

"Glenn!" He turns around and sees Jimmy crouching by the car door, helping Zach get into the passenger seat, but also looking at him. "I'll call you."

Glenn nods and watches as he gets into the car and drives away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is just an aside, but in my head, Abraham is the Resident Professor of Jimmy's dorm and Rosita is a student living there and eventually they start something up. Maybe it's after she no longer lives there. idk. It's just too far outside the scope of this story to add it in. But, again in my head, this would explain the age difference between them. I know I'm crazy.
> 
> Posted 2/26/15


	18. Chapter 18

So Carol and Glenn roped him into tutoring some kids. It's okay. Once he can wrangle them into finishing the studying part he enjoys hanging out with them; the kids are talkative and curious and funny. They also start to ask him questions about himself - the kinds of direct questions young kids ask. Where are you from? What kind of car do you drive? What kind of job are you going to get? How much money will you make? Do you have a girlfriend?

When he lets slip that they're meeting in the dorm where he lives they ask to see his room. When he shows them, they mostly look around Glenn's side, since all the nice things, all the things they are interested in are Glenn's. The next week they ask him what his classrooms look like and since they are finished with their work, he takes them to see his Zen classroom and the lounge where they meet for discussions. It's empty so not very exciting, but they have fun sitting in the chairs and raising and lowering the folding desks and drawing on the double layered whiteboard. It becomes a regular thing; every week when they get their work finished early Daryl takes them somewhere on campus.

The two kids he tutors, Josh and Wendy, tell their friends who start to finish their assignments quickly also, then tag along with them. Pretty soon, he's spending his Thursdays walking a pack of kids around campus.

He knows from experience how important it is for kids with their backgrounds to be able to imagine themselves going to college. To know that that is an option in their lives. He himself hadn't considered it until sophomore year in high school when a teacher asked him where he would apply to college. He was stunned at first. Going to college hadn't even entered his consciousness. His daddy had just died and Merle had started hustling big time. He just figured he would find a job when he finished high school, hell, maybe before that if things kept on the way they were going. The teacher, knowing his financial situation, (and who didn't at his school?) said he would probably qualify for financial aid and his grades were good enough to apply for scholarships. If it hadn't been for that one teacher he wouldn't be here now.

Anyway, he wants these kids to know what's out there, not feel so out of place when they get to college, so he tries to let them experience what it's like. He takes them to a classroom when class is in session too, one of the large auditoriums with a hundred students so a few more won't be noticed. They go to the bookstore, the student union, the stadium. Some places he hadn't been yet himself. He makes sure they stay quiet when they need to, keep out of the way of rushing students and professors. But he also makes sure they ask questions when they have them.

He shows them around the kitchen where he works and his boss lets him hand out ice cream sandwiches. They ask him why he works and he lets them know he is on scholarship and has to make money for additional expenses. He sees them mull that over. For some reason, he doesn't mind telling them these things about himself. About pretty much being on his own at their age. About eating peanut butter sandwiches every day growing up so now just the smell of it makes him want to puke. About getting lost for nine days in the woods, eating berries and wiping his ass with poison ivy.

He supposes he's okay with telling them these things because he knows they can relate on some level. He sees himself in these kids. So he likes the idea that he will be the one to make them realize it's possible to go to college. Doing for them what that teacher did for him.

 

Between class, studying, work, walking Carol to her classes and now tutoring, it gets to be a lot. True, he's stopped going to see Merle, that's a chunk of time he has back. And luckily his Zen class has gotten a reprieve of sorts. Professor T-dog wants them to experience Zen, not just discuss it, so they start doing a lot of activities in class which don't require the all the heavy reading.

For a few sessions they have guided meditation in class. The next week they go to participate in a Japanese tea ceremony. The ceremony is put on by students learning the art so are practicing on them. That way the Zen students' casual street clothes and any mistakes they make are not considered rude.

They attend in their smaller discussion groups, about six students at a time. They all sit cross legged on bamboo mats which make up the floor of the small tea room, though traditionally they should be kneeling. One of the participants Daryl doesn't recognize - a black woman with dreadlocks, wearing a Japanese dress/robe thing, kneels through the whole ceremony in the position of the first honored guest. Professor T-Dog is in the second guest position and tells them when and how to eat the sweets, how to pass and wipe the bowls and sticks, when to bow, how to hold the tea, turn it and drink. The tea is bitter and frothy. Some students make faces when they drink. Daryl has had his share of eating some not so great tasting things so the thick drink doesn't phase him. He is fascinated by all the efforts at politeness; bowing, apologizing, wiping, waiting. The whole experience is quite beautiful and calming. Which, he guesses, is the point after all - the Zen of it.

The next week they have a lecture on the samurai class in feudal Japan and its adoption and practice of Zen. The guest lecturer, the woman from the tea ceremony, introduces herself as Michonne. She's a grad student studying ancient Japanese swordsmanship. Today she's dressed in jeans and a tight leather vest instead of the Japanese robe she wore to the tea ceremony. Michonne gives a short lecture on the practice of Zen by the samurai and how it enhanced the warrior mindset by allowing them to eliminate the fear of death, to clear their minds and focus during battle.

At the end of her lecture she takes the class outside to watch her demonstration of swordsmanship. She sets up thick bamboo sticks balanced on their ends, each about six feet long, evenly spaced about five feet apart in a line. It would look like a fence if there were rails connecting them.

She kneels at one end of the bamboo sticks, closing her eyes. Daryl sees her shoulders rise and fall slowly with her breaths. He is standing at the opposite end so he can see her face. He sees the moment her eyes open and her hand moves to her hip. Suddenly, she draws the sword from her sheath and is standing in one fluid motion. She executes a series of movements - striking the air around the bamboo. In the next moment she swings the sword above her head and slices through the top of the first bamboo. A piece about a foot long falls from the top, the cut at a severe angle.  The rest of the piece falls to the side. She makes several more moves bringing her to the next piece.  This time she makes stabs on either side before making the cut. 

Daryl sees her eyes focus on each piece of bamboo until the cut is made. When the sliced piece falls to the ground she immediately focuses on the next bamboo.  Daryl realizes what this is...a line of enemy soldiers she is killing, basically decapitating each one.

She makes her way through the line to the end closest to him. He can feel the stirring of air caused by her strikes and movements. After the last pole is cut down she is in a low, almost squatting position. Her left fist comes down sharply on the sword handle, then she re-sheathes it and then lowers herself to kneeling again, bowing deeply. When she stands the students clap enthusiastically. She walks the line of sticks again, picking up the shorter cut pieces and inspects each one.

Michonne passes out the bamboo pieces and shows them the angle of the cut, pointing out where some cuts are curved, some are straight. The straight cuts at the proper angle are the desired result she tells them. They would be the most accurate and cause the least pain in battle, which would be important to a samurai who practices Zen.

She tells them about bamboo having the same density as bone, then about samurai armor and strike points, and finishes her talk by giving her thoughts on the often glorified samurai traditions of revenge and suicide.

Then she asks if anyone has any questions.

Can we try your sword? No.

Where did you get it? From a collector in Japan.

How much did it cost? More than my car.

At the end of the class period, Professor T-Dog dismisses them from the courtyard, but Michonne stays to answer more questions. Students ask how long she's trained, who she trains with and where, if she participates in actual sword fights, where she will be doing other demonstrations. Daryl hangs back, listening to the answers. When the last students walk away she meets his eye and raises an eyebrow.

"How'd you choose the sword?" he asks. He's kind of surprised no one else asked this. He's wondering what would make someone study sword fighting, and not even something competitive, like fencing, or a more common style that could be used in movies or theater. He could never imagine choosing something so impractical, much less getting a degree in it. What job could you get with that?

"What's your weapon?" she asks instead of answering his question.

Daryl is surprised. He narrows his eyes. She didn't ask that of any other students. How does she know he has a weapon?

"Crossbow," he answers hesitantly.

She nods. "Would of thought it would be something more close range." She shrugs a shoulder.

"Why?"

"You knew what I was doing. You were following my moves, trying to anticipate where I would strike. You know weapons, or fighting at least."

He nods.

"So, how'd you choose the crossbow?"

He shrugs. "My brother gave it to me."

"You have other weapons?"

"Yeah."

"Why not any of those?"

He thinks about it. He really can't answer that question. Merle had gotten him different weapons over the years, and yeah, he'd learned them all. The crossbow just felt the most comfortable. He still hasn't said anything when she speaks.

"That's how I chose the sword." She doesn't smile exactly, but the corners of her eyes crinkle.

"You want to try it?" she asks. He's surprised. He looks at the sword at her hip, remembers her telling the class they couldn't touch it. She sees him and shakes her head.

"Nuh uh. I have something you can use."

She goes to a large duffle bag on the ground and pulls out a long wooden stick, shaped like her sword blade and handle together, without the guard. She hands it to him and then moves her own sword to a position across her back. She takes a shorter version of the wooden sword out of the bag and takes a stance next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

"You know Zanshin, right?"

Daryl nods. It's the state of being fully aware and present in your current activity. When he read about it, he knew it described his state of mind when he hunts.

"That's what we're going for here."

He nods again and focuses on getting himself into that mindset.

She shows him some sword moves, doing them in slow motion so he can follow and imitate her. They move slowly, but it's actually very difficult. It takes a lot of strength and concentration to get the balance and the movements right. He's working up a sweat.

After quite a long time learning a series of practice strokes, he realizes he should get going - he has a work shift soon. He drops the sword to his side and fumbles for his phone with his free hand and checks the time. Shit. He can just make it if he leaves now.

"I, uh, gotta go. Thanks, uh...thanks fer the lesson." He walks towards her to return the wooden sword.

"Anytime." She nods. "In fact..." she turns to her bag, reaches into a pocket and pulls out a business card. "If you want another lesson." She hands him the card. He looks at it and reads the print. 'Michonne Gurira. Student of Kenjutsu.'

"You got a name, cowboy?"

Oh. "Daryl... Dixon."

"Nice to meet you, Daryl." She doesn't smile, she doesn't seem like a smiler, but he can tell by her eyes she's amused or something.

He hands the wooden sword back to her and helps her gather the bamboo pieces. They nod to each other and he turns to go. When he's walking away he sees out of the corner of his eye she's nodding her head at someone else. He glances back and it's Professor T-Dog, standing in the doorway of the building, leaning on the doorframe. They're having a silent conversation with looks and nods and shrugs. Daryl wonders what that is about.

He hurries off to make his dinner shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did you guys see the promo from Japan with NR and AL in a tea ceremony wearing hakama? Hnghhh!!! I don't imagine Daryl wearing that in this story, but it is the inspiration for having Daryl go to a tea ceremony.  
> So I watched a few videos of people demonstrating samurai sword moves and then kind of made stuff up - combining the katas (sequences of practice strokes) with the bamboo slicing, which isn't really a thing, doing them together. So don't take anything in this fic seriously when it comes to swordsmanship (or tea ceremony either!) I just wanted to make Michonne a part of this family.  
> I know in the show Daryl says he wipes his ass with poison oak, but I looked it up and Georgia is mostly poison ivy. Because I'm all about accuracy. **eye roll**
> 
> Oohh look, found it: http://site10471-529-5475.strikingly.com/#the-walking-dead-spot
> 
> Posted 2/26/15


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, here it is. The chapter with the attempted non-con. It's been sitting on my computer forever. I said at the beginning that I include this warning out of an abundance of caution. I didn't want anyone saying that they wouldn't have read it if they had known it included non-con. So, if you are at all worried about reading it, you can go to the end of this chapter and I'll describe it briefly and you can decide if you want to read this chapter or move on.

One Friday Daryl comes back from the library late, expecting to go to sleep, but the dorm is having a party which is still in full swing. The loud music would make sleeping impossible. He grabs a not-spiked drink and sits in the lounge watching the other kids talking and goofing around. After a while that gets old and he decides to sneak into another dorm, somewhere quiet, and try to find a couch to crash on. He heads out through the back door and stops to wait for a couple leaving that way too. Except it's blondie with her arm slung over some guy. Her knees keep collapsing so the guy is holding her by the waist.

"Can we...stop here? I need t'lay down. So tired." Daryl can hear her words are slurred.

"No, we're almost there. Just a little farther," the guy tells her. He spots Daryl and his eyes light up.

"Hey man. Can you get the door? She's pretty wasted. I gotta get her back." Daryl's hackles rise because he sees that it's that Randall guy.

"Back where?"

"Uh, to our _dorm?_ " he says it sarcastically, like Daryl's the one who's being stupid.

Daryl, already on edge, immediately sees red. He wants to put this guy in the ground because he knows he's _lying_ about blondie, knows what he's up to. He glances back to see if he can spot Glenn or Shane, hell even Carol will do right now. But the back door is not where the action is and there are only a few kids staggering around down at the other end of the hall.

He can't punch the guy while he's holding blondie, but then if he grabs her she might get hurt if Randall fights him. Finally he figures a way to get his guard down.

"You need a ride? I can drive you both." He guesses this wimpy kid will jump at the offer.

"Yeah, that'd be great!"

"Lemme carry her. You get the door." Randall holds open the door as Daryl lifts her bridal style and carries her out. He spots a bench and goes to lay her down.

"What are you doing, man? I thought urh-" Randall's words are cut off by Daryl's fingers around his throat.

"Don't ever let me see you around this dorm again. Don't you ever come near her again. I see you messing with _anyone_ like this, I will end you!" He shoves Randall by the neck and he falls to the ground. Daryl spits in the dirt as Randall scrambles up and runs away.

He turns and crouches next to blondie.

"You okay?" he feels her forehead.

"Somethin's wrong. I feel funny."

"How much you drink?"

She shakes her head, then groans. "Nothin'. Just soda."

Daryl swears under his breath and rubs his hand over his face. This is going to be a huge can of worms, one he really doesn't want to open, but he knows she should see a doctor. He picks her up and carries her to the campus emergency room.

When they get there a nurse helps put her into a wheelchair and Daryl tells her what he knows, which isn't much.

"I don't know what she's on. She wasn't drinking. There was a guy with her. He musta gave her somethin'."

The nurse studies him for a second, then nods. "You should stay here. The police will want a statement."

"I should go get her friends. I don't...really know her."

The nurse points at a phone on the wall, then at him. "Use the phone. Don't go anywhere." She wheels blondie away.

Daryl dials the number for the campus directory to get Carol's number and calls it. No answer. He calls again for Shane's number. Luckily Shane answers.

"What." The loud party music nearly drowns him out.

"It's Daryl. Glenn's friend, blondie...she's in the hospital."

"Shit. She okay? What happened?"

"Some guy gave her something. She wasn't feeling good so I brought her."

"Fuck. On my watch. Sonofabitch! Okay, give me a few minutes. Gotta go tell Dale. Man...fuck!" He hangs up.

Daryl sits down in the waiting room. He notices the admit nurse back at her desk, on the phone giving him sidelong glances. A couple of campus police arrive and the nurse flags them down. She talks to them for a bit then takes one in back. The other one stands around the waiting room. Daryl shifts nervously. He never had problems with the law himself but he's been questioned many times about Merle. Having a cop around is never a good thing in his experience.

Finally Shane arrives with Dale. Good, Daryl thinks. They can handle it from here. Shane spots him and starts talking right away.

"How is she?  What happened?"

Daryl is about to tell them what he knows but the cop comes up to their group

"Don't say anything yet. We'll need you to make a statement."

Dale chimes in, "We'll, is she okay? I'm the resident professor. I'd like to see her if that's possible."

The cop hesitates, then gives a nod and motions them to follow him.

Shane looks back at Daryl and says, "Call her roommate."

Daryl shrugs and shakes his head. He doesn't know who that would be.

Shane rolls his eyes.  "Call Glenn." And they disappear to the back.

Daryl calls information and gets Glenn's number then dials it. It rings for a while. Daryl thinks its going to go to voicemail but finally,

"Hello?" Glenn sounds out of breath.

"It's Daryl." Daryl hears some muffled movement.

"How did ...what's up?"

"Your friend, I need to call her roommate.  You have -"

"Wait, what friend?"

"The one you're always with.  Blond girl."

"You mean Amy?!  You don't know Amy's name?  Are you for real?"

"Just fuckin' tell me her roommate's name."

"Why, what's going on?"

"She's in the hospital-"

"WHAT?!! What happened?  Is she okay? Don't you think you should have _started_ with that?!! Geez."

"Listen! Just give me -"

"Jenny's not around. She went home for the weekend."

"Oh."

"I''ll call Amy's sister. Wait, what happened? Is she okay?"

"I don't think I can talk about it. A cop wants to get a statement from me."

"Shit...that's serious. Okay, I'm coming there. Um. Bye." Glenn hangs up.

The cop comes out from the back room and walks straight to Daryl. "I'm going to need a statement from you. You ready?"

Daryl nods and stands up. The cop leads him to a desk and they sit.

"What happened?"

Daryl recounts what happened, which goes pretty quickly. He adds that he saw them meeting at the party on the first day. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Glenn rushing into the room and looking around frantically. The cop thanks him and tells him to stick around.

Daryl walks over to Glenn and only then notices the guy that came in with him. Tall, lanky...farm boy looks.

"How is she?! Can I see her?" Glenn's voice breaks Daryl out of his thoughts.

Daryl shrugs and shakes his head. "Dale and Shane are with her. I think that guy she was with gave her something. She couldn't walk and was pretty out of it."

"But she's okay, right? She's...she's not..." Daryl hears the panic in Glenn's voice. Shit. Kid probably thought she was dying or something.

"I think she's okay...just...drugged."

"What guy was she with?"

"Randall somethin'?"

Glenn looks shocked. Daryl wonders where Glenn was that he didn't see them together. He and blond- Amy are usually joined at the hip.

"Weren't you there?" Daryl asks.

"Uh. No, I...uh. No." Glenn looks nervous and isn't looking him in the eye.

Dale and Shane come out.

"She's stable. Her respiration and pulse are within normal range now. She _was_ given GHB however. Daryl, you said you knew the guy who she was with?"

"I jus' know his name. Randall."

"Randall Culver. He lives in PKT." Glenn adds.

"We need to take care of that," Shane says menacingly.

"Now, let's just calm down. We'll tell the police and they'll probably get a search warrant for his room. If we go threatening him he'll just have time to get rid of evidence. Now, Daryl...the police have said that they want to search your room too. I think it would be a good idea to let them. Just clear your name right away so you don't have any problems."

"Why do they think _I_ did this? I'm the one who helped her!"

"It's...just a precaution."

Daryl looks around at all their faces. Of course they would think he did something wrong. He's the outsider here. He shrugs.

"Yeah, okay."

Dale looks relieved but nervous. "And...one more thing."

Daryl rolled his eyes. Of course. "Yeah, I know." He walks over to the cop in the waiting room.

"Y'need to search me?" He raises his arms to his sides. The cop gives him a pat down and feels in his pockets.

"Thanks," the cops says once he comes up empty.

"Don't mention it."

 

Glenn stays at the hospital while Dale, Shane and the cop go with Daryl to the dorm. He shows them where he found Randall and Amy, describes what happened and points out the direction he saw Randall run. The cop searches the area. They go to his room and Daryl, Shane and Dale wait in the hallway while it's being searched. It takes a while because he searches Glenn's side as well.  It's 3 am by the time he gets into his room and he takes another hour to clean up because, well, it's mostly Glenn's stuff that got tossed.

Finally, he's in bed and he lies there thinking about Amy. He wonders how she's doing...he hadn't even seen her after the nurse wheeled her away. He thinks about what might have happened if he had left the party just a little sooner or a little later, or had gone to his room from the beginning. He has to convince himself that someone else would have helped her because the sick feeling in his gut threatens to get worse. What is wrong with people, guys, who do things like this? What is it that makes them think girls are just...things? Guys like his daddy, Ed, Carol's stepfather, Randall...

He thinks about what he'd do to Randall if he sees him again. An hour alone with him in a locked room would be a good start. He rolls onto his side and stares at Glenn's empty bed.

It's certainly not the worst day of his life, but definitely the worst day since he came to college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BRIEF SUMMARY: So Amy gets roofied/drugged at a party (by Randall) and Daryl sees her, pretty out-of-it so helps her, _before_ anything actually non-con happens. See? Attempted. Again, I put the warning there just to be on the safe side for anyone who is sensitive to this type of subject matter, the college setting, or roofies or date-rape in particular. If you want to skip this chapter, I will summarize more at the beginning of the next chapter so you can understand what's going on.
> 
> SOAP BOX TIME: I'm really sorry if anyone feels that making Carol and Amy victims of abuse in my story is anti-women or is promoting bad fanfic tropes (fridging, or victimizing a woman to advance a man's character arc). I had the Amy part conceived and written a while ago for reasons I'll explain later, and added the Carol part more recently to develop the Carol/Daryl friendship and I used it as a device to bring him closer to the group, expanding on the domestic abuse in the TV show; But I didn't connect the two story lines in my head! Add on top of that Daryl mentioning the abuse of his mom and I see now where it can be seen as a lot of violence against women in this story. I just wanted to let you know that I'm aware.  
> I try to justify it to myself with the fact that the violence against Carol and Daryl's mom are from the show, (wait, I may just be imagining the part about Daryl's mom), and since college sexual assault is a **huge fucking problem** (probably happening even as I type this) I don't feel I'm being too melodramatic. Okay, and if you're all, 'But Gobsmack, why do you gotta make them Damsels in Distress and make the _guy_ swoop in and be the hero all the time?' I just say, 'Daryl Fuckin' Dixon!!!' (He can swoop in on me anytime!)
> 
> From this chapter: PKT, Phi Kappa Tau, also known as the 'rapebait' fraternity at Georgia Tech, no longer has a chapter on the GT campus.  
> Oh yeah, I know nothing about police procedure...as always, open to corrections.
> 
> Posted 3/8/15
> 
> Edit 6/9/16: WARNING: DISCUSSION OF REAL LIFE RAPE CASE. Do not continue reading if this will bother you.
> 
> I am so FUCKING LIVID about the recent lenient sentencing of the college swimmer who was caught in the act of raping an unconscious woman! JFC he was CAUGHT IN THE ACT AND GOT SENTENCED TO 6 MONTHS. BROCK TURNER AND AARON PERSKY ARE HUMAN GARBAGE. I can't bring myself to read her statement but did read an article about the hero students who stopped the assault and held the rapist until the cops came. There is a description of the victim's state when they found her so it is still pretty raw. You can read it [here](https://www.buzzfeed.com/emaoconnor/meet-the-two-swedish-men-who-caught-brock-turner?utm_term=.usJEOaYVrr#.agGoXg8Omm).


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I said I'd summarize the last chapter for anyone who didn't want to read the attempted non-con:  
> There's a party at the dorm and Daryl sees Amy being led out the door by Randall. She can't walk on her own and her words are slurred and Daryl figures out that Randall drugged her. He scares Randall off and takes Amy to the emergency room. Police are called and Daryl gives a report. The police give Daryl a pat down and search his room to eliminate him as a suspect. They don't find anything.
> 
> Warning: This chapter is the same event from Glenn's POV. So, same subject matter, but not as immediate since Glenn wasn't there. Also, some kissing.

Jimmy calls Glenn like he said he would, but they don't have much time to talk. He's busy dealing with his RA responsibilities, making sure Zach has recovered from his accident. He also has to deal with the school administration when Zach's parents decide to complain about the alcohol provided at the dorm party. At the end of the week Jimmy invites Glenn to go hang out again, at another party, to 'help him get his mind off things' he says. Glenn happily accepts.

He walks out to the party by himself, not wanting to take anyone with him in case he wants to be alone with Jimmy. He'd feel bad about ditching Amy or Rick. Plus, their own dorm is having a party that night and Amy had invited that guy Randall over after running into him earlier in the week. And Rick, as usual, is out with Lori.

He gets to the party and wanders in. No one looks familiar so he helps himself to the keg and settles in, leaning against a wall in the main room. After his second beer, he needs to find a restroom so wanders further into the house.

When he exits the bathroom he notices a bunch of other rooms he hadn't checked. Walking through more of the house he finally sees Jimmy, standing in a corner chatting up some guy. Glenn stands there, unsure of what to do, when Jimmy notices him. His eyes light up in recognition and he lightly punches the guy's shoulder (not in a flirty way Glenn notes happily) and walks over to Glenn.

"I didn't think you were coming," Jimmy shouts over the music.

"I've been...I was up in the front room for a while."

"You want a drink?"

Glenn had thrown away his cup in the bathroom.

"Um...Okay."

They walk to the keg and Jimmy pours Glenn a new cup and gets one for himself.

Jimmy says something unintelligible.

"What?"

"I needed this." Jimmy raises his cup.

"Yeah, I bet."

"...stupid kid..." Again, Glenn can't hear what he's saying.

"What?" The music is ridiculously loud. It's impossible to hear anything.

"Nothing. You wanna go somewhere?" Jimmy says directly into his ear.

Glenn nods.

They ditch their cups and Jimmy takes him by the hand and leads them out the front door. Glenn is surprised - he thought they'd find an quiet room in the house, but apparently his ideas on hooking up (that admittedly he got from bad teenage movies) are not the way it's done in real life. As they walk, Jimmy talks about how stressful his week has been. Glenn is listening, but he's also thinking about finally, _finally_ getting some action. Maybe a blow job. Maybe even actual _sex_. Not that that's the only reason he's doing this. Jimmy's hot and nice and...judging by his actions at the last party, a pretty responsible and capable guy, and...Glenn's brain stalls because that's about all he knows about Jimmy. Their texts this past week were all about the Zach situation and how that was going so they didn't get into any personal information. At all. Glenn frowns inwardly at this realization. He doesn't even know where he's from or what he's studying. Not that he needs to know these things to...do stuff with Jimmy. But it would be nice, he guesses.

At his room, Jimmy writes 'DO NOT DISTURB' on the small whiteboard outside his door.  They go inside and he steps closer to Glenn.

"I'm glad you came."

"Uh...Me too."

"I've been thinking about you. It's like, we've had... bad timing or something." Jimmy is staring at his mouth.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. When we met, I was still with someone. And then the thing with Zach."

"Oh." Still with someone. Glenn supposes that's a good piece of information. Jimmy didn't pursue anything with him because he's not a cheater. And he's probably experienced. So, Glenn's...in capable hands. That's both reassuring and exciting.

Jimmy nods, then leans in. Jimmy's going to kiss him and Glenn is a little surprised that they don't talk a little longer. Really, they've exchanged, like, one hundred words in total. But, okay. _Okay._

Jimmy closes the distance and presses his lips to Glenn's. Glenn is backed up against the door so he has a good view of the room. There are a couple of Hobbit posters on the wall (Thorin and Thranduil) and an actual cowboy hat on top of the dresser. He sees a Vertebrate Biology book on the desk and other types of biology books on the bookshelf. Jimmy must be a biology major. Satisfied, Glenn closes his eyes and focuses on kissing back.

Somehow they make it over to the bed. He remembers being push-pulled further into the room and falling backwards onto the mattress as his knees hit the edge. He's on his back as Jimmy crawls up over him when he hears a buzzing coming from his butt. He sees Jimmy reaching for his belt as his phone buzzes some more. His brain, no, his _dick_ is screaming at him to _IGNORE IT_ , but he pulls it out of his pocket anyway (his phone, not his dick.)

"Don't answer it," Glenn hears Jimmy say.

He looks at the screen. It's...no one he knows, but he recognizes that it's a campus phone number. Thank God. He drops his phone on the floor and concentrates on what Jimmy is doing. What he's doing is _un_ doing Glenn's pants.

But he doesn't concentrate. The campus phone number nags at him. What if it's Amy, or Maggie, or Rick? There are any number of reasons why they wouldn't or couldn't use their own phones.

He groans and fumbles his phone from the floor and quickly answers it, trying not to breathe too heavily into the mouthpiece. He thinks he succeeds.

Turns out it's Daryl trying to get Amy's roommate's name and number. Only he doesn't know Amy's name! They'd been studying together for _weeks_. Was Daryl just being an asshole again? After what feels like a lot of needless back and forth, Daryl mentions his actual reason for calling - Amy is in the hospital - but can't tell him what happened because he has to give a statement to the police! Glenn tells Daryl he'll call Amy's sister and hangs up, in shock.

"What happened?" Jimmy asks. He can figure out from Glenn's side of the conversation that he just got some serious news.

"I don't really know. My friend Amy is in the hospital. Daryl couldn't tell me what happened because he has to give a statement to the police. Shit. That sounds bad. Right?" His voice cracks. As he's telling Jimmy this, the panic starts to rise in his chest. Daryl didn't actually say she was okay. He feels tears sting his eyes. What if she's hurt...what if...

"I gotta go." He says. He does up his pants and belt and stands for a moment looking around the room, bewildered. He can't think. Jimmy stands and puts his hand on Glenn's shoulder.

"Hey. You okay? I'll drive you." Jimmy grabs his keys and takes Glenn by the elbow. They walk out to the parking lot and Jimmy opens the car door for Glenn. If he had been more coherent he might have found that endearing.

On the ride over, he stares at his phone. He should call Andrea, but doesn't know what to tell her. If he tells her what he knows (she's in the hospital, Daryl is making a police statement) she would panic. Then again, if Amy is injured seriously Andrea should get there as soon as possible in case... Glenn can't even think it. He decides to wait until he gets to the hospital to call. It's just a few more minutes.

When they get to the hospital Jimmy parks and Glenn runs into the emergency room with Jimmy following quickly behind him.

Looking around he sees Daryl sitting at a desk with a campus security officer. They stand and Daryl walks over.

Daryl lets him know Amy is okay, but was given something that made her sick. He also mentions it was Randall who drugged her. Glenn is shocked. Randall, the guy Amy was gushing over after that first party? The guy she was so happy to run into again at the gym, she invited him to their dorm party? The implications of what happened, what _could have_ happened to Amy are just coming to focus in his mind when Daryl speaks up again.

"Weren't you there?"

"Uh. No, I...uh. No." Glenn can feel his face burning up. No, I was trying to get laid, he thinks to himself. Shit. He is the worst friend. He hopes Amy can forgive him.

Dale and Shane come out and ask Daryl about the guy Amy was with. Daryl tell them his name is Randall and Glenn adds what information he knows, his last name and where he lives.

"We need to take care of that," Shane says menacingly. Glenn imagines Shane pounding some poor bastard into the ground.

Then he hears Dale say the police want to search Daryl's room! _Daryl_ is a suspect? That is even more impossible than Randall doing this. He tries to imagine Daryl putting something in Amy's drink, but can't. It just doesn't make sense. That's not him. That's not _possible_. He's lost in thought as the others continue to talk.

After a few minutes Shane pulls him aside and asks him to stay with Amy while he and Dale go back to the dorm. They have to help the police with the search and get Amy's file to notify her parents.

That reminds Glenn he has to call Andrea. At least now he has enough information to give her and can tell her that Amy is okay. He pulls out his phone to call as Daryl, Dale and Shane leave with the officer.

When he reaches Andrea, he tells her that Daryl brought Amy to the hospital because of a bad reaction to GHB and that she's fine now.  But he doesn't mention the rest of it. He tells her that Dale will be calling their parents also. Andrea tells him she'll catch the next flight out and will call when she lands, but it won't be until morning.

 

Glenn looks around and sees Jimmy sitting in the waiting room chairs, looking at his phone. He walks over and Jimmy looks up at him.

"Thanks for driving me. I was kind of messed up. So...thanks."

Jimmy smiles. "No problem. This place feels like home now." He looks around, then back at Glenn.

"Oh yeah. You were here last weekend too." Glenn gives an uncomfortable smile - more like a grimace.

Jimmy sighs. "I told you...bad timing." He stands and puts his hand on Glenn's shoulder and squeezes. "You think you'll be okay if I take off?"

"Yeah. They said I could go sit with her and Shane's coming back later."

Jimmy nods then leans forward and kisses Glenn quickly. He's a little startled. He'd been so focused on Amy that he'd forgotten about what was happening with Jimmy. He glances around to make sure Daryl didn't see them, but no, he's left already. Jimmy leaves and Glenn finds a nurse to take him to Amy.

They go to the back room to a section with the curtains drawn. The nurse opens them for Glenn to walk through and he sees Amy. She's laid out on the hospital bed, asleep, looking pale and vulnerable, with an IV in her arm. He looks at the monitor next to her bed and watches her heartbeat scroll across the screen. The beeps seem really slow. There's a chair next to the bed, but there's also enough room on the bed for him to sit so he does. He picks up her hand and lets out a shaky breath. She doesn't stir. Something wells up in his chest and he thinks he might throw up. But he pushes the feeling down. He smoothes aside her hair and lays down next to her. Tears start sliding from his eyes, wetting the pillow. He stays with her the night, even after Shane gets back, until Andrea arrives in the morning and they bring Amy back to the dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry if this chapter seemed a bit choppy. I didn't want to just cut and paste the same dialog from the last chapter so did some summarizing and it kind of lost something. Oh well.  
> About this chapter:  
> Glenn doesn't close his eyes when kissing because he really doesn't. (See Maggie kissing Glenn in the pharmacy.)  
> I'm going to add here that, in my mind, Jimmy didn't drink before Glenn got to the party and they decided to leave the party soon after seeing each other...so he was totally not drunk and was okay to drive Glenn to the hospital. Did that even bother anyone?  
> I checked out James Allen McCune's twitter to see what music he's into and he didn't mention much music, but he did mention the Hobbit (or LOTR) like, constantly so that's why I chose Hobbit posters for Jimmy's room. (He also talks about food constantly, so even though I think he's a funny guy, I can't follow him. It would be bad for my diet.)
> 
> Posted 3/15/15


	21. Chapter 21

 Daryl wakes up to yelling outside his door.

"I don't care. I don't want him in this dorm!  Do you know who we're dealing with here?" It's some woman's irritating voice.  Dale's voice responds more quietly so Daryl can't hear the words. The woman starts harping again.

"I looked him up.  His brother, Merle Dixon... is in prison for _drug trafficking_! He had the means. He obviously comes from a place of bad character. Why are we even having this conversation?"

There's banging on the door. It doesn't stop while Daryl changes into jeans and goes to answer it. He yanks the door open and scowls at the woman standing there. Blonde, tight body, pretty, but with a bitchy look about her. Amy's sister he guesses. She blanches for a second.

"What?" he barks at her.

She regains her composure and lays into him. "You need to pack up and leave this dorm! You cannot be around my sister...or _any_ woman in this school I'm thinking."

Dale is there and puts his hand on her shoulder.   "Ms. Harrison, the school is handling this. Please, come to my residence and we can talk about it."

She lets herself be led away, but keeps glaring at Daryl. He slams the door, goes back to his bed and lies down.

Shit. He thought the search last night cleared him, but apparently he's still a suspect. Maybe he can get Amy to remember him helping her...but maybe _she's_ the one who thinks he did it. He's been around enough people coming off GHB to know that it can mess up your head like that. He tries to remember if anyone saw him chasing Randall away, but he knows there wasn't. There's nothing else he can think of that would clear him. He lies on his bed going over the night in his head.

He's not sure how much time passes, but eventually Glenn quietly lets himself into the room. He sits on his bed facing Daryl. Daryl can tell from the way he's fidgeting he wants to say something.

"Spit it out," he gruffs and looks at Glenn out of the corner of his eye.

"Uh. Amy doesn't remember anything. And the police...I don't know...they think you could have done that to her? Andrea's a lawyer and she...she says your brother..." Glenn's voice trails off. He looks like he's in pain.

"So you think I did it." There's something in Daryl's chest that clenches, a sickly ache, and it actually goddam hurts.

"No! But...it looks...kind of bad?" Glenn is wringing his hands in his lap.

"The fuck 'm I supposed to do about that?"

"I don't- Is there anything you can give me- us, that would help?"

"I can't give you shit, Ch-!" He cuts himself off, so it sounds like a scoff, he hopes. But why is he trying to protect Glenn's feelings? It's not like- not like it matters anymore. Daryl can't look at him. He stares up at the ceiling instead.

Glenn sits there for a little while longer, not saying anything, then quietly leaves the room.

 

It was too good to be true, he thinks. Should have known a guy like him couldn't have a life like this. He was just pretending to be like all these other kids, good lives ahead of them. He should have stayed home, got a job fixing motorcycles, paid the bills, waited for Merle to get out. Now he's gotta pack it all up, all his stuff along with his pride, and head home. Would anyone there even notice he'd been gone?

He really needs a smoke, or a drink. Or both. He gets up and fishes the box of stale cigarettes out of his desk drawer along with his keys and phone, throws on his shoes and heads out.

He wanders aimlessly around campus, not really sure where he wants to be. He feels the lightheadedness of his first smoke in a long while, the burn in his lungs as he takes long, deep drags, barely waiting for the smoke to cool before he breathes it in.

If he were home he'd take his crossbow and head into the woods. Burn off his mood and work himself to exhaustion so maybe he doesn't have to think anymore. There's nothing like that he could do around here. Except...

He digs his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through the contacts, finding the last number he saved, just a few weeks ago. He sends a text and a minute later his phone chimes with a reply.

 _Not in Atl. Back on Fri. Meet at 3? Same spot._ He sends his reply: _Ok._

Friday. Would he even still be here? The rest of the day passes in a haze of cigarettes and swigs of Benchmark he picks up at the liquor store known around campus for not checking IDs too closely.

 

The next day, Dale lets him know that the police are investigating the incident but the search of Randall's room turned up nothing. So, it's basically his word against Randall's he thinks bitterly. He hears the connotation in Dale's words; 'Not much evidence _either way_.' 'Sometimes these things _don't get resolved_ to anyone's satisfaction.' 'Unfortunately, things like this can _ruin things_ for _everyone involved._ '

Obviously his scholarship will be yanked. And that's the bitch of it, isn't it? He's pretty sure being accused of a sexual assault qualifies as 'getting into trouble'. Even if he's not arrested for it.

For the next few days no one says anything to him about being kicked out, so he continues to go to class. His heart isn't in it though. He doesn't go to the study room any more. He finds another hidden desk on a different floor in the library so Carol can't find him if she comes looking. He stops walking her places. Doesn't see her much at all in fact.

The only other thing he keeps up is the tutoring. He doesn't want to abandon those kids. But he's in and out of the Service Center quick, avoiding Glenn and Carol and their concerned looks.

So she stops by his room one day when he's getting ready to go to sleep. He scowls, but knows he can't dodge her indefinitely. She doesn't come in. Just stands at the open doorway, looking at him with those sad eyes. It pisses him off.

"What are you doin?" He's not yelling exactly, but there's anger in his voice.

"Keeping an eye on you."

"Ain't you a peach," he sneers. He's trying to get her to leave but she's not taking the hint.

"I'm not gonna let you pull away. You've made friends. You belong here."

He belongs here? He scoffs. The fuck she knows about it...about _him_.

"If you spent half your time minding your own business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else's..." _Maybe you wouldn't be so goddamn sad_ , he thinks to himself, but doesn't say it.

"Go ahead." she says calmly

"Go ahead and what?" Daryl spits the words at her. She just looks at him with eyes full of pity.

"Man, just go. I don't want you here." He points, putting his finger right up in her face, "You're a real piece of work, lady." She continues to give him that look. "What? You gonna make this about my daddy? Crap like that? Man, you know jack."

He steps quickly into her space and she flinches. Yeah. Now she's scared of him. He gives her a look that says 'I thought so' and looks down at her feet. She's just outside doorway. He takes the door in hand and waits for her to walk away. She doesn't, just keeps looking at him. He flicks the door from his fingers and turns away as it closes in her face.

Why can't they leave him alone? He knew from the beginning getting to know people, getting involved would just lead to trouble. Maybe if he didn't spend so much time with Amy he wouldn't have felt the need to help her. Deep down he knows that isn't true, but maybe he wouldn't have been at that place at that time. He doesn't think too hard about what that would have meant.

 

The police question him again, probably trying to catch any inconsistencies in his story. He sees Andrea around the dorm, always with Amy or Shane, sometimes Glenn. If she catches sight of him she's shooting him dirty looks. Hell, she might as well point at him then draw her index finger across her throat, her intentions are so blatant. It would be funny if it weren't so fucking aggravating.

He should have known this whole college thing wasn't for him. People like him don't get good things. Can't move up or out.  But the thing is, he felt like it might happen. Like he could do this, and be _good_ at it.  If nothing else, even growing up, when he felt uncomfortable in his own skin, uncomfortable in himself, he was okay in school. He could escape in a book or puzzle out a math problem, and he could forget that he probably would only eat one meal that day, or that his daddy might slap him around for breaking the screen door or not buying the right brand of peanut butter.

All this on top of the fact that Merle is depending on him. Or was.  He didn't say it in so many words, but he knew Merle took a calculated risk when he started selling drugs. True, it wasn't too far a stretch for him to sink deeper into the criminal element, but the amounts that he started pushing once their daddy died, Daryl could tell, were intended for their future. His future.  Sure Merle would make fun of him when he caught him studying, called him an egghead when he saw his report cards (after the first couple of times he stopped bringing them home). He knew Merle always thought he'd make something of himself, make something of the Dixon name.  Now it looked like it had been for nothing. He'd go home, Merle would finish out his sentence and they'd be back where they started, only older and poorer.  Merle with a prison record.  And Daryl with nothing to show for this past year.

On Friday, he heads to the courtyard outside of his Zen classroom. When he gets there, Michonne is leaning against the column of the building, waiting. As she meets his eye he hesitates, now unsure that he really wants to do this. What if she wants to talk? She pushes away from the column and gives him a nod. Maybe she can tell from the look on his face, but without saying anything she hands him the wooden sword and moves right into position. They go through the sequence and she adds new strokes. Daryl can feel his balance is off and his mind is distracted. He's hacking away. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. They finish the sequence and she turns to him, sword hanging by her side.  Maybe she notices his concentration is off or that his swings are particularly vicious. She doesn't say anything at first, just looks at him, quirking an eyebrow. He rubs his hand down his face, embarrassed at his inadequacy and feeling guilty, like he wasted her time.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asks, finally.

Okay, so she can see something is wrong. His eyes narrow as he thinks it over. Maybe he would feel comfortable talking to her, but not right now. Not yet.

He shakes his head and looks away.

She nods and puts her wooden sword into her duffle, then sits on the concrete, legs stretched in front of her, arms propping her up from behind.

After a moment of hesitation he puts his sword away too and sits next to her so they're both facing the abstract sculpture that's nestled in the landscaping surrounding the courtyard.

"Without knowing what happened I can't say it'll get better. But." She presses her lips together as she pauses. "What you do...when it's hardest. That means a lot. That's your measure."

He thinks about what she's saying and he feels his insides churn. It's like she knows how he's been acting and she's calling him out on it. But how could she know? Maybe she doesn't, but damn if she didn't hit the nail right on the head.

"You know Gaman?" She turns her head to look at him now.

"In Zen?"

She nods. He shakes his head no.

"Roughly translated, it means 'to endure."

He nods minutely. He understands that. Hell, that's what he's been doing his whole life it seems.

"But...you still gotta try. To endure...with grace and dignity. That's Gaman."

Okay, that's...harder. He thinks about how he's treated Glenn and Carol. Fuck.

They sit for a while longer, not talking. He's thinking about what a huge asshole he's been, lashing out because he feels threatened. Grace and dignity? He doesn't know if there is an ounce of either of those in his body.

Eventually she gets up and tells him she has to get going, but to text if he changes his mind and wants to talk, or if he wants to practice again.

 

She's given him some things to think about. He needs to let go of his anger and disappointment. He needs to try and make things right. And he needs to figure out what he can do to keep going, even if he does lose the scholarship.

His mind starts making a list of things he needs to do if he has to drop out of school. He doesn't have much to pack but he wonders how you go about _un_ -registering from classes. If only he could finish up this quarter he would have a good chunk of credits done towards an AA. As it is, he has seventeen credits to his name. Maybe if he gets a job he can take night classes, but the house is so far away from the community college it would be almost an hour commute each way. He can look into online courses once he can afford a computer and internet. It's not the same, not _ideal_ , but it can still be better than the life he'd have if he didn't try to finish college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The scene with Daryl yelling at Carol is a small scene from S2E9 Triggerfinger, after Sophia is found in the barn. Are people interested in these types of details? Because I try to take stuff from the show when I can. But, you know, that might just be for my own entertainment.
> 
> Sorry to end on such a downer. There should be a tag for Sad!Daryl, but different. I don't know what word I'd use, but something that doesn't mean that Daryl is sad, but that he's put in sad situations. Anyone? Anyone? (Edit: I came up with piteous!Daryl, but that's such a strange word it can't be a thing.)
> 
> [For anyone familiar with Gaman, I know I've used it very loosely and left out a huge dimension of it: enduring the unendurable. That aspect is a part of a Daryl/Miconne side story I have in my head which _may_ be written someday, after I finish all the fics currently swirling around in my head.]
> 
> Posted 3/27/15


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: About this Chapter: DMV is Department of Motor Vehicles. In addition to making you wait in long lines for the opportunity to take driving tests, pay fees and take hideous pictures for your driver's license, they will fingerprint you - sometimes required if you work with children.
> 
> Warning: woobie!Daryl, I think.

Oh man. Andrea is hell bent on proving Daryl did it. She uses her legal resources to look him up (and why did Glenn mention Daryl's name _at all_ in their phone conversation?) and finds out his brother is in prison for drug trafficking! She's got it in her head that Daryl has easy access to drugs - like it's a family business or something - and therefore must be guilty. The guy Randall doesn't have a record and comes from a stable middle class family in a small town, so doesn't raise her suspicions like Daryl does. Never mind that he's in that creepy fraternity that, let's face it, doesn't have the best reputation when it comes to how it treats women. She's taking time off from her law firm, sticking around to be near Amy and, it seems, to press the cops to arrest Daryl, or Dale to kick him out of the dorms or something. Glenn tries to get Amy to reason with her, but she's so out of it and confused she can't really help.

He thinks back to Daryl telling him about his brother moving out, during the drive home for Thanksgiving. It feels like forever ago. He thought Merle had moved out to find work. He'd been sent to prison! At sixteen, Daryl lost his father, his brother was locked up and yet he still managed to get decent enough grades to get a full scholarship to college, all while surviving on his own. Glenn was tooling around town on a scooter delivering pizzas and playing Portal 2 with his friends. His life feels suddenly shallow and privileged.

Andrea is working with the police to gather more evidence from that night. The security footage from the emergency room shows Daryl carrying Amy in. Glenn tries to point out that it shows Daryl _helping_ Amy. Andrea thinks he drugged her, then got scared that he gave her too much so brought her to the hospital. Even in the report, Daryl said he didn't _see_ Randall give her the drugs; the fact that he was trying to get her away from the dorm was circumstantial evidence. The pictures the police collect from social media postings of that night don't help either.

After a while it's apparent the police don't really suspect Daryl, they just have to make sure they cover all their bases, but Andrea won't let it go. He knows she's trying to help Amy, but right now she's being a bitch. Seriously. So even if they can't prove Randall did it, Glenn wants them to find something that will prove Daryl _didn't_ do it, just so she'll back off.

He also tries to help Amy in whatever way he can. She's...different, definitely. Kind of listless. He hopes it will pass, hopes it's just the drug's effects and exhaustion. But even after several days she's not back to her old self. He wonders why, but it's not like he'd say something to her like, 'well, at least you weren't raped' or 'you don't remember it anyway.' He's not that stupid. But he doesn't know _what_ to say. He figures if she wants to talk, she will.

He looks up some online resources on how to help victims of assault. It says he should make sure she's getting the right amount of sleep (not too much, not too little) and keeping up with her usual self care and daily routine. He talks with her roommate Jenny to make sure she gets up and gets ready in the morning. Jenny sometimes ends up helping her brush her hair and stands watch to make sure she brushes her teeth - she lets Glenn know when there's a particularly reluctant or rough morning.

Glenn makes sure she's going to her classes, takes notes for her when he can, or gets Jenny, Jacqui and Maggie to help. He steers her to the library after dinners. She studies, or goes through the motions of it at least. Andrea takes Amy to all of her professors, getting extensions on papers and tests.

Amy cringes when someone suggests going out on the weekend, even just to a play or concert, so Friday and Saturday they stay in and watch movies on Glenn's laptop. By this time he gets to know Andrea pretty well. When she's not complaining about Daryl she's a really nice person. They're slowly bringing Amy out of her depression. She talks and sometimes even laughs. It's not the fun, easy friendship they had before, but Glenn is hopeful it will get there soon.

He doesn't see Jimmy. It's taking all his time to go to class and keep an eye on Amy. Jimmy understands pretty much, giving him space, or moving on or whatever. Glenn's not even really sad or upset about it. And does that mean anything? Out of sight, out of mind?

 

What does bother him is Daryl pulling away from the group. He doesn't show up in the study room anymore. He's still at tutoring, so that's something. But then he sees Daryl slam the door on Carol one night. She won't tell him what he said, but by the look on her face it must have been pretty hurtful. He knows, or would like to think he knows Daryl a little by now. He's probably angry because he feels threatened by Andrea, and is taking it out on anyone who would dare to show him any concern. Andrea's constant presence in the dorm doesn't help.

He finally figures out something he can try, something he can do to help. He blanket texts everyone in the dorm, plus everyone else he knows at school, asking people to send him their pictures and vines from the party, and to ask any of their friends who attended as well. (Okay, he should have done this much earlier and why didn't the police do this in the first place?) He gets an almost immediate response, a flood of pictures and videos clips. It's pretty clear from several pictures Amy spent the whole night with Randall. From what they can tell, Daryl was only at the party a short time, sitting alone on a couch nowhere near Amy. Finally, they find a couple of images and fuzzy video of Randall handing Amy a cup, some of him helping Amy out of the main room; she's leaning heavily on him and her head is hanging down. The time stamps are just a few minutes before Daryl said he chased Randall away. And these times coincide with the security footage of Daryl showing up at the hospital carrying Amy.

Even though the search of Randall's room turned up empty, because of the pictures the police renew their focus back on him. Maggie pitches in too; she didn't go to the party, but had gone to high school with Randall. She describes him as pretty creepy, always hanging around trying to impress the more popular students, but not really fitting in. She posts a message at the campus support and counseling center and finds a couple of women who are willing to make statements about Randall, women who had strange blackouts after hanging out with him.

Their case against him is looking really good, but there is still no hard evidence linking him directly to the drugging.

Finally an anonymous tip comes in and based on it, the police search Randall's _bicycle_ and find a small baggie taped under the seat. GHB. The arrest is made.

Randall tries to shift the blame to other guys in his house, saying he was put up to it by Tony and Dave. Their rooms and bicycles are searched also but come up empty. Randall is charged with possession of drugs, felony furnishing of GHB, and attempted sexual assault. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief as the police take him away in the cruiser.

 

* * *

 

The days drag. Daryl feels like there's a hangman's noose around his neck and he's waiting for the floor to drop. Finally, _finally,_ when he thinks he'd almost rather quit school on his own terms than wait for them to kick him out, Glenn gets a bunch of pictures from the party and the investigation shifts back to Randall. He barely has time to wonder if it's enough to help him when, ultimately, the case is solved with an anonymous tip: They find a bag of GHB taped under the seat of Randall's bike. Pretty stupid to hold onto the evidence, if you ask him. But the cops didn't look there until the tip came in, so he might have gotten away with it. And it sounded like he'd done it before, based on the girls who came forward to say they'd blacked out after partying with him.

Daryl feels like he just crawled out from under the crushing weight of a huge boulder, but also like he's a boat been cut from it's moorings. He's drifting, drifting, with nothing to grab onto. It's not the huge relief he thought it would be. He marvels at everyone's ability to go on as if nothing happened. As if he can go on as if nothing happened. Dale claps him on the shoulder and says something about a 'close call.' He's really happy and looks at Daryl like he expects him to be happy too. Daryl doesn't know how he's supposed to feel after walking around scared- well, _worried_ for such a long time. And then it's over. He's numb and exhausted and...still confused.

 

He's leaving the room to go to his work shift when he sees someone jogging towards him down the hall. It's Andrea.

"Daryl. I'm glad I caught you. I'm taking off now, but I wanted to apologize for how I acted." She pauses and takes a deep breath. "I am so sorry. I feel like shit."

"Yeah, you and me both." It's impossible to not give her a hard time about this.

"I don't expect you to forgive me but..."

"You were tryin' to protect yer sister. We're good." Apparently he doesn't want to bust her balls too much.

She smiles in relief. There's something in her eyes that Daryl thinks means she's thinking of hugging him. He braces himself, but the hug doesn't come.

"I saw the security footage...from the hospital." She suddenly has tears in her eyes. "Thank you for helping Amy."

He looks down at his feet and shrugs a shoulder. "'S what anyone woulda done."

She shakes her head. "No. There are so many cases where someone _didn't_ step in." A tear escapes her watery eyes.

"Thank you." It's almost a whisper. She clears her throat and says a bit louder, "Thank you."

He nods. She leaves, going back down the hall, glancing back at him once with a small smile.

 

Andrea's apology and thanks reminds Daryl he really should thank Glenn and apologize to Carol.

He finds Carol first. He stands in her doorway, like she had his.

"I'm sorry for what I said, and did. I didn't mean it." He feels like a kid again, asking his mama for forgiveness. His hands are shoved in his pockets and his shoulders are tense.

She gives him a gentle smile which he doesn't deserve. "That's okay. I know...it was a rough thing to go through."

He nods. There's more he should say, but it won't come out. _I'm sorry I was a dick. Thank you for standing by me. I'm glad you're a friend._ Instead, he turns to go.

"Do you have plans for the break?" She calls after him.

He turns back. "Goin' home," he shrugs.

"The kids have a camping trip. We could always use more supervision. You don't get paid but meals are provided. It should be fun."

He knows what kids she's talking about. The tutoring kids had been asking him to go camping with them at every session for the past several weeks.

"It's not too late to sign up?"

"No, I don't think so. It's just an application and...maybe fingerprinting? You can get that done at the DMV."

An irrational fear spikes in him. He doesn't have an arrest record, but all the drama with the police, plus just being related to Merle makes him nervous to voluntarily submit his fingerprints to anyone.

"I...I'll think about it."

She smiles. Who is he kidding? He's going to do it. He wonders if she knows him well enough to know that.

 

He catches Glenn in their room.

"Glenn?"

"Hey." Glenn looks up at him, eyes questioning, but also looking exhausted. He's got bags under his eyes and his skin is pale, even more pale than usual.

"I..uh, wanted to thank you. For...gettin' me off the hook."

"What? What do you mean?" Glenn looks confused.

"The cops, they thought I coulda done it."

"No. What? No!" He shakes his head emphatically. "I didn't get you off the hook. After that first day no one thought you did it." Daryl gives Glenn a skeptical look.

"Well, Andrea, okay. She was pretty, um. Yeah. But...you weren't a suspect or anything."

Daryl is confused. He thinks back to all the times he thought...shit, Glenn _told_ him the police thought he did it. He thinks about the cops searching his room, the questioning that second time around. They didn't actually say he was a suspect. But they hadn't said anything to him about _not_ being a suspect. Talking to Dale had gotten him pretty worked up too, but now he can't remember what was said specifically that made him think he'd be kicked out.

His head feels foggy. It's like his own memories are a traitor to him. He's not surprised then, when he hears himself speaking without wanting to say anything.

"I thought I was gonna lose my scholarship. Have to drop out." He feels his face flush at the admission. It sounds so weak.

"Oh...shit. No man. I don't think they would have done that. You were helping her. That would be pretty shitty to... Wait, you've been worried about that this whole time?"

Daryl blinks in frustration. He feels so stupid. Something about Glenn's tone just makes him feel stupid for all the thoughts, the fears he'd been having.

"I mean, yeah she was working pretty hard...but...there wasn't even any... These kinds of things don't even... Do you know how hard it is ...?" Glenn stops his inarticulate ramblings and presses his lips together into a thin line. He takes a breath and starts over, "Okay, yes. Andrea was working pretty hard to pin the blame on you. And I wanted to make her back off, so yes, I was trying to help...you."

That, that right there. Of course he'd already known that what Glenn did helped him out big time, but to hear him say he did it because he _wanted_ to help Daryl, hearing _that_ gave him the...closure, the relief he'd expected when they caught Randall.

He feels suddenly lighter and his chest feels full of warmth. Except the feeling keeps growing in his chest and feels like it's bubbling up his throat like a...a _sob_. And _fuck_ if he's going to cry from what Glenn said, going to cry in front of Glenn. He coughs several times and the feeling subsides.

"Did you...were you the anonymous call?" He asks to change the subject.

"No. I don't know who did that. But... No, I don't know."

They are both quiet for a moment. Like with Carol, he can't say what he should say. _Thanks for believing in me. I'm glad you're my friend._ He just says what he can.

"So...thank you." He looks Glenn in the eye for a second, nods and leaves the room. He can't tell if Glenn's wide eyed look is confusion or surprise.

 

He'd done what he always did growing up, he thinks as he walks through campus trying to clear his head. Pull away, go it alone. When his daddy would start throwin' things and cussin', that was the right time to make himself scarce. When guys in his class would talk about trying to get to the bases with their girlfriends, and he had nothing to say without embarrassing himself, that was the time to take his crossbow into the woods by himself. But what had worked before had the opposite effect this time. The self imposed isolation closed him off from anyone who could have told him what was happening. He took one little threat (maybe Andrea could be scary, but she wasn't _that_ fuckin scary) and holed up so no one could get to him.

Carol tried. Michonne would have listened and would have tried to help.

Glenn _did_ help, he thinks, and that feeling threatens to tear its way out of his chest again.

'What, are you gonna cry?' he hears Merle in his head say. 'Help is for pussies.'

Shut up, Merle, he answers.

 

Daryl gets fingerprinted at the DMV. His application is accepted so he'll join the camping trip as a counselor. Dead Week and finals arrive and he finds he can focus on his studies and tests with amazing clarity. It helps when you don't have an assault arrest hanging over your head.

After all his tests are taken he has his final Zen paper to turn in before leaving campus for the break. He goes to the faculty mail slots in the Religious Studies department and finds the one marked 'Douglas.' He puts his paper onto the pile, turns to go and...finds himself face to face with his professor.

T-Dog's face lights up in recognition. "Mr. Dixon. Glad I got to see you. I don't know what you're majoring in, but if you're interested, I'd welcome you to take my advanced Religious Studies course. You can also have a job as a TA for my Zen class next winter if you're interested."

"What?" Daryl is dumbfounded. There's no other word for it.

"Just what I said. I think you'd do well in Religious Studies, make a good contribution. And, if you'd like a TA position, it's yours."

Daryl nervously shifts his weight, thinking of how he should respond.

"Didn't think you liked me," he says finally.

"Why would you think that?"

"After I messed up that first day."

"Water under the bridge. I can't have a name like T-Dog and not expect a hard time every once in a while. You have a good understanding of the material. You're thoughtful and to the point. And you don't take your analyses from online zen websites."

"What?"

"Man, if I had a dollar for every paper I read that quotes some online guru, I wouldn't need tenure. Seriously, you do good work. And Michonne respects you too. She's my litmus test." He chuckles.

Daryl doesn't respond, he's still too shocked.

"I heard you had some trouble with...some trouble," T-dog's face is serious now.

Daryl hesitates. If he heard about it, he probably knows what it was about. He doesn't have to elaborate. "It's sorted out now."

"Good. You have plans for the break?"

"Taking some kids camping for the After School Enrichment program.

"Oh yeah? I know those kids. A bunch of them go to my church."

Daryl squints in confusion. He can't imagine his tutoring kids going to a Zen Buddhist church. T-Dog laughs.

"I go to Holy Cross Lutheran."

"Huh. Thought you'd be Buddhist."

T-Dog chuckles a bit more. "That's academic. I drive the church bus and lead the youth choir."

Daryl nods. It fits with what he now knows of his professor.

"Yep. Good kids. Always up in everybody's business."  He looks at Daryl appraisingly.  "Have a good break, Derl."

Daryl freezes. He must have a look on his face because T-Dog raises his eyebrows in question.

"What?"

"Uh. That's how my brother says my name. No one else."

"Hm. Must be my north Georgia accent comin' out. Have fun with the kids. See you next quarter."

"Okay."

 

* * *

 

T-dog turns to go. He'd done that intentionally, pronounced it Derl. Wanted to see what his reaction would be. Just out of curiosity, not because he wants to dredge up the past. Over the quarter he's realized Daryl is a good person, despite having Merle as a brother. Also, he does good work. Gives well thought out ideas and opinions. He's clearly absorbing the material, making connections to experiences or other curriculum, drawing conclusions and forming thoughts based on his processing of the material, not just spitting back a rewording of what he read in the assignments. His work is a quality T-Dog really only expects from his advanced students.

He also didn't mention that the kids from his church talk about him all the time. Every Sunday they tell him about what they did with their tutor that week. He was shocked when they started calling him by name and he realized it was Daryl, his student, who had taken these kids under his wing.

He found out about the assault from Dale Horvath in the History Department. Professor Horvath approached him about being a character witness for Daryl if it became necessary. The police weren't interested in Daryl as a suspect, but if the incident were to cause any issues with Daryl's scholarship, Dale was getting prepared. They didn't mention any of this to Daryl, of course, not wanting to scare or worry him.

Michonne thought they should. Without knowing what was going on she came to T-Dog saying she was worried about Daryl. After some dancing around student privacy concerns, he reluctantly told her what happened. She was stunned and even more insistent they talk to him. She thought, no, she _knew_ the situation was getting to him and that their support would help. They discussed how to do it. Michonne was torn. She had a feeling Daryl wouldn't take it well, either one of them approaching him, especially since he hadn't told them about it himself. Luckily they are saved from the potential confrontation when they are notified of the arrest in the middle of their discussion.

So T-Dog is quite impressed by the person Daryl has become. Smart and thoughtful, dedicating time to underprivileged kids above and beyond the usual college student extracurricular activity, forming friendships outside the typical dorm or class or school year boundaries. As a freshman he's built himself a solid support system with three professors (okay, Michonne is a grad student, but close) willing to go to bat for him in a crisis.

This kid is inspiring, he thinks. He's glad to know him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Andrea apologizing to Daryl is from Secrets S2E6, after she shot him. So, the reason I wrote in the attempted rape is because I wanted to introduce Andrea into the story and have her be a bitch to Daryl at first, but then work it out. Basically just to use the line "You were trying to protect your [sister]. We're good." That's a pretty big story point for one line from the show, huh? Yeah, that's just how my crazy mind works.  
> Also, I wanted to give you guys an update on the Daryl/Glenn relationship. There will be forward progress starting at the beginning of spring quarter! Woo hoo! Awkward and bumbling progress, but progress nonetheless. Just bear with me as I gloss over spring break. Thanks for hanging in there with me!  
> And...Silent Hills is canceled?! Oh man! Does anyone think I need to change my reference to it in Chapter 13?
> 
> Posted 4/27/15


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know I said I'd gloss over spring break, but dammit, Glenn and Amy in my head wouldn't stop talking!
> 
> If you're at all averse to certain pairings, please note the updated tags for pairings **alluded** to here (but then you get spoiled for small parts of this chapter.) I don't think it should be too big a shock or anything.

By the time Randall is arrested and taken away from campus, there are only a couple more weeks in the quarter. Glenn is surprised he's kept up with his schoolwork. He supposes he has Maggie to thank for that this time around. She made sure he always turned in his chemistry problem sets, picked up a little slack on the Party Class project and sent him her notes from lectures. He really owes her. Maybe he'll get her something nice when he's gone over break.

Finals end and he feels like he's just run a marathon. Or what he guesses it would feel like to run a marathon. There's a physical and mental exhaustion he's never experienced before. The break is much needed.

Andrea rents a beach house in Florida for the week and Amy invites her friends to join them. It's on the gulf side, so away from the college party scene; Andrea no doubt wanting to stay away from all that. Amy seems to appreciate it too. She is still a little down, more reserved than her usual self. She has extensions on a couple of papers so the quiet will help her work. Andrea, Amy, Jenny, Jacqui, Rick and Glenn are all there. Lori was invited but went to D.C. with her family. Maggie went home to the farm to help out with spring planting and chores. Morales stayed on campus to work with an exchange student program and Jim went to see his girlfriend back home. Jenner and Candace went on a Public Health Alternative Break program to Belize.

Daryl is going to a camp with Carol and the kids from the tutoring program. At first Glenn is surprised he didn't ask Daryl about his break earlier, but apparently his roommate is not front and center on his mind anymore. As evidenced by the way he wasn't thinking about what Daryl had been going through while the police were investigating Amy's assault. It's almost a relief to realize he's getting over his crush. But he's also glad Carol is around to keep Daryl from leaving the group altogether. And it's not like he could have invited him to the beach house. Andrea no longer has it out for Daryl, but Glenn's pretty sure she wouldn't want to share a roof with him either.

 

Their first morning at the house they sleep in late and roll out of bed to beachfront views. They eat a late breakfast/early lunch on the deck and spend the day at the beach, Glenn and Rick tasked with rubbing sunscreen on the girls' backs at regular intervals. In the late afternoon they wander into town and look at the local souvenir shops and clothing stores. They find a small cafe for dinner and then spend the evening back at the beach, gathered around a campfire toasting marshmallows.

The vacation together gives Glenn and Rick a chance to catch up. Glenn feels a little bad. He hasn't hung out with Rick at all lately, even before the thing with Amy. They wander from the fire pit and stand at the water's edge, waves washing over their feet.

"How's Lori liking DC?"

"She's having a good time. She's talking about getting a congressional internship after graduation."

"Lori, in politics?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"So, you guys are good?"

Rick doesn't answer straight off. "I think so," he says, somewhat hesitantly.

"You're not sure?"

"She said...she wanted some time to think about us. Where this is going."

"Oh. That doesn't sound good. Unless, she's talking about wanting to get more serious, or something. That could be good, right? If you want that too."

Rick is quiet. He kicks off the wet sand that has piled up around his feet.

"Do you think you'll be together for a while?" Glenn asks since Rick still hasn't said anything.

Rick takes a breath and pauses before answering. "I...I can totally see being married to her. I can see having a family with her. When I imagine myself in the future, with a family, it's with her. Just...that seems so far off, you know? I don't want that _right_ away. Does it make sense if I say it feels like we'd be more compatible in the future, but not...right now?"

"Yeah. I guess. It kind of sounds like you're one of those guys who's being pressured into marriage. _She's_ not talking about marriage yet, is she?"

"No."

"Good. Well, I mean, you're pretty young to be thinking about that."

"No kidding."

"So...totally straight now?" Glenn is kind of joking, but serious at the same time.

"Man, shut up."

"What? That's not a valid question?"

"No...I mean, okay, yeah. If you have to label me, I guess you'd say I'm bi."

"Huh." Glenn is thoughtful. True, in high school Rick had dated girls in addition to guys, but he always thought that was more of a cover to keep his parents happy.

"What?" Rick asks when Glenn doesn't elaborate.

"I... It's not what I imagined college would be like. I thought we'd be going to LGBT meetings together and meeting hot guys and...going on...double dates or something." His face reddens at how much he sounds like a pre-teen girl. But it's Rick so he doesn't mind. "Now you're dating a girl and I'm...not even out. Just, not what I pictured."

"Disappointed?"

"No." Glenn tries not to look or sound disappointed.

"You still think Daryl would beat you up over being gay? Not that we'd let that happen, but you think he'd want to?"

"Hmmm, no. He's pretty grateful over the whole Randall thing. If he didn't like it, I think he'd keep it to himself at this point."

"Well, what are you waiting for? And what happened with Jimmy?"

"I told you, nothing. I mean, nothing since that night."

"Why don't you call him now?"

"He..." Glenn debates whether or not to answer honestly. "He moves pretty fast. Do I sound too much like a girl if I say I'd want to get to know him better?"

Rick chuckles, "Maybe."

"It feels like I'd be...just a hookup to him."

"Yeah. That's...some people might like that, but...that's not you." Rick knows him pretty well. Still it's embarrassing talking about _not_ wanting to hook up with someone, especially since he has no other prospects and is still a _virgin._ Ugh.

"So, what's sex like with a girl, anyway?" Glenn blurts, to deflect the conversation from his own non-existent love life.

"Don't even go there."

"What? Another totally valid question. It's not like I'm going to have that experience - probably. I'm just curious."

"Dude, I am not going to tell you what it's like to have sex with a woman. If you're curious enough, you can do it yourself!"

"Meh."

"Why don't you have Shane set you up? He's pretty connected."

"Yeah, I should."

"Hey, he suggested a psych class for next quarter, Leadership, Judgment and Decision Making. You wanna take it with us? It could fit your major."

"Huh. I don't know. I'm gonna have organic chemistry. I think I need an easier class."

"Won't it be easier taking it together? We'd help each other."

"Yeah, I'll think about it. So...what's going on there?" Glenn asks, meaning what's going on with Shane.

"Well, I'm thinking about doing a psych major now. Shane tells me that's better if you go into law enforcement, since you learn all the criminal justice stuff during training anyway. You have more to draw from in terms of human behavior. It's a good way to think about it."

"Cool. That's good advice. He knows what he's doing, huh?"

"Yeah."

"He's pretty hot too." Glenn looks at Rick expectantly. Since they're taking another class together (and his relationship with Lori seems to be on the rocks) maybe Rick might be willing to admit he's interested in Shane. Instead, Rick looks a little surprised.

"You wanna...go for him? I can see that. He's a good guy." Rick's voice is neutral, but a little...hostile? Guarded maybe. Glenn wasn't even thinking along those lines but now some immature part of him wants to play around. He turns to look at Rick who is studiously looking out at the waves, not meeting his eyes now.

"Well, I don't think he'd do that, since he's my RA." Glenn intentionally doesn't deny interest.

"Yeah. I guess not." Rick's face is blank. And that basically tells Glenn what he wants to know. Not that he would have done anything. He smiles and resists the urge to add "but maybe I'll wait until summer."

"So...Lori-"

"We don't need to talk about it right now," Rick cuts him off. "I'm gonna let her think about us and hear what she has to say once we get back. I'm just gonna ...try and relax. Have fun while we're here." Rick makes his voice sound casual, but Glenn knows him well enough to realize he's bothered. It could be because of problems with Lori, or because he thinks Glenn likes Shane. Shit. He should clear that up.

"Yeah, me too. Maybe I can meet someone. Or talk with Jimmy. Or both - if I'm lucky."

Rick smiles and punches his shoulder and he knows he said the right thing.

 

The rest of the week is more of the same; days at the beach, afternoons in town and evenings around the fire pit. They meet some other college kids who invite them to their parties, but their group mostly sticks together close to the house. Somehow what they've been through, banding together to help Amy, has made them closer and a little wary of outsiders.

 

One day Amy and Glenn are lounging on the recliners on the deck. They can see the others playing in the waves, so way out of earshot. Amy has one of her textbooks in her lap but isn't really concentrating on it.

She looks at Glenn with a sly smile. "I think Andrea had something going on with Shane."

"WHAT?!" He was not expecting that.

"Shhhh." Amy flaps her hand to hush him and looks around to make sure nobody is paying attention.

"She stayed in his room, 'slept on his futon' when she was at school with us." She makes the air quotes with her fingers.

"I thought she was at a hotel."

"No, she wanted to stay close by."

"Did she _tell_ you they hooked up?"

"No, I think she's trying to keep it from me."

"We-ell...just 'cause she stayed on his couch doesn't mean anything happened. Maybe she just wanted to save money. Or, like you said, stay close."

"She invited him to come here!" her voice is quiet but high pitched from excitement.

"Oh." Yeah, that does seem kind of telling. Man, Shane and his damn sex appeal. It's like he can't turn it off, even with... "How old is she anyway?"

"Twenty nine! She's, like, a decade older than him!"

Glenn furrows his brow in thought. He and Shane had stopped their workouts after the thing with Amy. Glenn was trying to collect evidence and help Amy get better. Shane was...Glenn wasn't one hundred percent sure, but he thinks Shane was following Randall around campus a lot. And he's almost positive the anonymous tip came from Shane. Anyway, they hadn't really talked in a while. He wonders if he would have mentioned sleeping with Andrea if they were still working out together.

"Why wouldn't she tell you?"

"Hm. Probably because of the age difference. And she was supposed to be helping me so maybe she felt bad about getting her freak on with my RA."

They both crack up laughing.

"I wonder how he is," Amy muses. "He seems like he'd be really good, right?" She sits up and puts her hands on her hips accusingly. "Dude, I thought you said he was _gay_!"

"I guess maybe he's bi. 'Cause I still think he likes Rick. What do you care?"

"He's a hot guy living in my dorm! Of course I'd care. And you said Rick was gay too. And now he's dating Lori! You suck as a gay friend. Just for that, I'm going to put the moves on Daryl!"

"Shut up," Glenn scoffs. She's kidding, right? "You're kidding, right?"

"What? You keep eliminating guys from my dating pool and then it turns out they're fair game. What do you expect me to do?" She picks up her text book and starts reading. Only she's probably fake reading because she's got a mischievous smile on her face. But she's joking about hooking up with guys, so Glenn is happy with the conversation in general. (Except for the part about Amy going for Daryl.) It's the first time he's felt like Amy is back to her old self. He guesses he has Shane to thank for that? Whatever. That man's libido has no bounds. He probably shouldn't mention this to Rick though.

 

Over the next few days Glenn meets some guys who are probably gay but nothing sparks and he doesn't exchange phone numbers with anyone. He does exchange a few texts with Jimmy though, who went to Daytona Beach for break. After their initial exchange, Glenn gets nightly drunk texts with pictures from Jimmy. Not dick pics, but some of his naked ass and some with other guys and girls that are slightly suggestive but not explicit. Maybe he's flirting? It's hard to tell. Glenn is amused. Amy is impressed and gives Jimmy's ass an 8. Rick thinks he's too skinny so gives it a 6.

 

At the end of the week Amy becomes broody again. Maybe she's sad about having to go back to school, Glenn thinks. They're all around the fire pit, but she's sitting apart from the group, jabbing a stick into the sand by her feet. He approaches her carefully and sits down next to her. After a moment Glenn musters up his courage to say something he's been thinking about. Something he's been scared to say, not wanting to take Amy back to a bad place.

"You know it's not your fault, right? There's nothing you could have done."

Amy sighs. She throws the stick down and takes a breath like she's going to say something.

Finally, "Daryl warned me about him."

"What?!" He's confused. "Warned you about who?"

"That first night. I met Randall at that party that first night. Daryl said...I can't really remember, but I think I told Randall my dorm and Daryl said I shouldn't tell him that. Like he knew."

"Knew he was... a..."

"Why didn't I see it? _I_ talked to him. A few times. How did he know? Can he tell good people from bad people? Just like that? They didn't even talk!"

"I don't know." If that's true, that's some awesome people reading skills. And here he thought Daryl was socially awkward.

"Thanks for...being friends with him." She looks at him gratefully.

It's an odd thing to take credit for, but he totally gets it. He nods.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." As soon as he says it, he knows he's been meaning to say this, without knowing he wanted to.

"No. Don't even. That's crazy. What are we going to do? Stay joined a the hips for the rest of college? That would put a serious cramp on dating!"

"Uh. I think you mean 'hip.'"

"What?" She looks confused.

"You said 'joined at the 'hips' so that would be-" he gestures with both hands, one hand starting at each hip and moving away from his body then back. His hips stutter forward in a slight thrust too.

Amy cracks up. Glenn joins in.

"Andrea asked why _we're_ not dating."

"Really? That's cool."

"What?! Are you straight now too?"

"Uh, no. Just, it means she likes me enough to think I'm good enough for you, her baby sister. That's pretty cool, right?"

"Yeah, cool. Does nothing to help me out, though."

"Sorry." Glenn tries to think of any eligible guys he knows that he could set Amy up with, but draws a blank.

They lapse into silence until Glenn hesitantly asks another question.

"Are you nervous...Are you okay going back to school?"

She looks at him and shrugs.

"Yeah. I'll be fine." She sits up straighter. "I really need to...I should talk to Daryl. God, I didn't even _thank_ him!

"That's okay. You were...getting your head together."

"Maybe I should have invited him here." Amy wonders.

"No. He went camping with Carol and the tutoring program," he tells her, but can't help imagining Daryl in swim trunks, laying out on a beach towel.

Amy's voice interrupts his thoughts. "Maybe I should get him something? What do you think he'd like?"

Here we go again, Glenn thinks.  He mentally lists the things he now knows about Daryl: Likes sleeveless shirts, has a crossbow, is good with kids, is good to have around in an emergency. Nothing that would help come up with a gift though. They spend a few minutes thinking of ideas but quickly give up, deciding instead to go to the stores the next day to see what's available.

 

They hit the souvenir shops in the afternoon. Glenn has to find something for Maggie too.

"What about something like this?" Amy picks up a leather strap necklace, a piece of conch shell strung on it.

"I dunno. Is he a necklace kind of person? And a shell? That one kind of looks like an ear or something."

"Okay, fine. Not a shell. But I think he'd look hot with one of these strappy leather type necklaces."

"Yeah, I know. I just don't think he'd wear it."

"Hmmm. What about a beach towel? Maybe the reason he doesn't wear a towel to the showers is 'cause his is too small. If I get him a beach towel, maybe he'll get with the program."

"Yeah. Good luck with that."

"What type do you think he'd like?" She points out some black and white pin up designs with Bettie Page and Marilyn Monroe in bathing suits. She picks up another one of Han Solo in carbonite.

"Wait, is this too cheap? Maybe I should get him something nicer. What says 'thank you for saving me from a rapist?'"

"Um. A car?"

"Maybe, like, a monogrammed wallet. Or a camera. Man, for a guy with not much stuff, he sure is hard to buy for!"

Glenn agrees. Eventually Amy gives up and decides to look online for something nicer. Glenn keeps looking and finds a pretty shell necklace (that doesn't look like an ear) to give to Maggie for all her help last quarter.

 

The next morning they clean up the house, pack their stuff and head back to campus. Glenn thanks Andrea for getting the beach house and Amy for inviting him. The week at the beach was good. No one says it, but they all needed the recovery time.  Glenn really hopes next quarter will be better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Daryl can tell the difference between good people and bad people according to Aaron, S5E13 Forget (I think. Let me know if it's a different episode.)
> 
> Also, considered using a more current acronym for the LGBT student group, but stuck with LGBT because it might be more familiar to readers I think? Let me know if anyone prefers otherwise, but it was hard finding consensus on the newer terms, Gay and Sexual Minority (GSM), Gender, Sexual and Romantic Minorities (GSRM), Marginalized Orientations, Gender identities, And Intersex (MOGAI), also LGBTAIQ. I'd be happy to hear your opinions!
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> And LOL. This is the conch shell on leather cord necklace I found that looked most like an ear! Not at all zombiefied, but Amy was on the right track.
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> Posted 5/18/15  
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> And woo hoo! Hit the 50k word mark. That's the minimum word count for nanowrimo so it feels like an accomplishment. (Not that I'm trying to make it long at all. This is just where the story wants to go in my head.)  
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	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all over the place. _All over the place._ I have no internal editor.

Daryl drives home and piles his camping gear into the truck, then joins the kids' group at the park campgrounds. It isn't really camping - what _he_ thinks of as camping anyway. There are barbecue pits, picnic tables and bathrooms. At least they're sleeping in tents. Carol and the other counselors teach the kids songs and lead scavenger hunts and team building games. Everyone takes turns cooking and cleaning according to their chore assignments. Carol continues the novel she's been reading to them at tutoring and they conduct science experiments using things found in nature.

Daryl teaches the kids how to recognize edible plants, find drinking water, start a campfire, cook over a fire, and identify poison ivy. Basically, anything they should know to survive if they are on their own in the woods. He also gives them a basic lesson in direction and tracking. During free time the kids horse around, play in the river and try to make rudimentary bows and arrows and fishing poles with branches and string. When the other counselors aren't looking, Daryl helps the kids improve their bow tension and shows them how to carve fishing hooks and arrow tips with his pocket knife.

It feels good to be in a different place for a while. The only things he has to think about are keeping the kids safe and having fun with them. Not to mention it's time outdoors, which always sets his mind at ease.

 

It's a good chance to think about the next quarter too. After worrying so much about having to drop out, he figures it's a good idea to pick his major and plan out his coursework now. He'll try to finish all the requirements for his degree as soon as possible - in case something else comes up that might make him have to leave school. A contingency plan of sorts. If he has to leave early he can take his GEs at the community college and hopefully still get a degree.

When there's downtime he looks at the course catalog Carol has downloaded onto her laptop. (He scoffs at bringing a laptop camping, but also grudgingly admits its usefulness.) He's conflicted about choosing a major. On the one hand, he'd enjoy studying history. It was his favorite subject growing up; as a kid he loved reading about civil war battles and military strategy in general. Also, he can see himself as a high school history teacher. What's holding him back is the feeling that Merle would be disappointed in him if he went that route. There's a subtle - or not so subtle - expectation that Daryl will make a lot of money because he's going to college. Daryl knows Merle wants him to make it big at some start up so they can live the rest of their lives in the lap of luxury.

That's what leads him to consider the Geoscience program - the study of the earth and its resources. It can lead to a decent paying job, it's a subject he's interested in, and, another bonus, jobs in this field include a lot of time outdoors. So he'll finish the year with the required freshman core series, the rest of his calculus series and the earth science class, Historical Geology, Extinction events and Evolution.

Carol plans her schedule also. In addition to a statistics class, she'll take Introduction to Counseling and then has to decide between Positive Psychology: Happiness & Well-Being, or Aggression, Violence and Moral Disengagement. She laughs at the contrast between her choices.

 

Sometimes he thinks about Glenn. His roommate went to a beach house for the break with Amy, Rick and some others. Typical rich college kid spring break like you see in those teen movies. He's probably drinking and partying, sexing up cute girls he meets there. He imagines Glenn on the beach, coming out of the surf, board shorts slung low, water dripping off his tight body. It's a nice thought until somehow Maggie is there pressed up against his side. He can't seem to picture Glenn without her or some other girl so he stops imagining altogether, or tries to anyway.

 

Daryl is sitting at the fire pit the last night at camp. The kids had stayed up a little later than usual because of the final campfire sharing time where they got to talk about what they learned and liked during the week. When they finally settle down to sleep the counselors enjoy a few minutes of peace to unwind before they have to start packing up what gear they can.

Daryl is whittling a piece of wood he's been working on all week. It's a branch that he's carved into interlocking chain links. On either end he'll smooth the wood into handles. He thought he'd make something for Glenn as a sort of thank you gift, for all the things Glenn has given and done for him.

Carol sits down next to him. For some reason she seems nervous. After a few minutes he knows why.

"Ed called." She looks hesitant. Like she thinks Daryl wouldn't approve of her talking to him.

"Yeah?" He tries to hide any skepticism in his voice.

"He apologized. Said he's getting his act together. He found another job, and it's good. He likes it." She takes a deep breath. "He says he's going to make it right. He'll go to counseling."

"That's - good." Daryl looks at her and nods. "When did he call?"

"Oh, maybe a week ago?" So, back when he was avoiding her. Daryl feels a little disappointed - in himself - like he let her down somehow.

He nods again. He can't really say anything. She's an adult. And who's to say Ed can't be a better person? Daryl isn't one to write someone off as irredeemable.

"Maybe when we're back I can introduce you?"

He huffs a laugh, but when he looks up at her she looks like she's serious. "Really?"

"Well, he knows what he did was wrong, so I don't think he'd be mad at you or anything. Or has a right to be. Maybe you two could be friends?" Her voice is unsure, but she looks so hopeful.

"Sure," he agrees. Maybe it could happen.

Carol smiles and really looks happy this time.

 

The next morning they finish packing up the camp and the kids and the rest of the counselors all get into the bus to go back to the program headquarters. Daryl packs up his truck and drives home. He'll sleep there one night, visit Merle in the morning and head back to campus afterward.

 

It's been several weeks since he's been to see his brother, so back before all the problems at school. He doesn't really want to talk about it so doesn't mention anything. Instead they talk about college majors and jobs Daryl should look into.

"I hear them oil and gas engineers get paid a shit ton." Apparently Merle has been looking up college graduate starting salaries.

"Yeah. That'd be Energy Resource Engineering. They don't just focus on oil now. All different kinds of energy sources. I was thinking more Geoscience. It's kind of related."

"Cool. You gonna work on an oil rig? I'll buy me a fishing yacht. Park it next to your rig and watch you work. Ha."

Daryl rolls his eyes.

"I was considering history too."

"What? What'll ya do with that? "

"I could teach high school."

Merle squints at him. He looks thoughtful. Or maybe it's skeptical. "Okay, yeah. I can see you doin' that. Won't get rich that way though."

"You think a Dixon's ever gonna get rich?"

Merle looks at him, pissed this time. "What, you think it can't happen? If anyone can do it, you can!  Gotta set yer sights high.  Won't do us any good - you take that self defeatin' attitude y'always do. You're smarter than that. Or ya will be, once ya stop actin' so dumb.  Dumb shit."

Daryl smiles. Maybe Merle wouldn't make a good dad, but he's okay for an older brother.

 

Back at the room, Daryl unpacks. Once he finishes, he stands there holding his wood carving which he'd finished and polished up at home. Looking at it now, he's not really sure it's good enough, considering everything Glenn has done for him. He's trying to decide if he should even give it when Glenn walks in, arms loaded with travel and laundry bags. He drops his stuff on his bed.

"Hey, Daryl. Have a good break? How was camping?" Glenn's face is tan and relaxed, happy. The beach agrees with him apparently.

Daryl nods. "Was good. Fun. Kids had fun I think."

"That's good." Glenn looks at the piece in Daryl's hands. "What's that?"

Daryl hesitates, then holds it out to Glenn.

"Fer you."

"Hey, thanks. Is it, like....nun chucks?" Glenn is holding both handles, turning the pieces carefully, studying it. There's one piece of branch smoothed into a handle, the other, a handle with a short sickle like blade at the end, both pieces connected by the wood chain links. Glenn might not realize, but the whole thing is carved from one piece of wood.

"It's called a kusarigama. Like...it's a ninja weapon. I mean, it's wood, so it ain't real, but..." Daryl shrugs.

"Ninja. You know they're Japanese, right? I'm Korean." He's still looking at the weapon, turning it around in his hands.

"I know!" Daryl looks away. Shit. It's not like he was implying all Asians are the same! He'd just been whittling a chain, then remembered a weapon he'd seen when he was looking up Japanese swords (a site Michonne had suggested) and the piece of wood he'd been carving started to become that.

"Oh. Okay. Thanks. This is really nice."

Daryl relaxes. "It ain't sharp. Figured I shouldn't make it sharp if you keep it here."

"It's..wait, you _made_ it?" Glenn's eyes are wide with surprise. Daryl nods.

Glenn looks it over again admiringly. "Wow."

He holds the sickle handle in his left hand and takes the chain in his right hand so he can spin the loose handle in a circle by his side. He seems to know what he's doing.

"Thought you said you weren't no ninja."

"Heh. Doesn't mean I didn't want to be one." Glenn's swings get fancier and Daryl is impressed. He wouldn't know what to do with one, it had just looked so cool in the pictures. Then Glenn catches it by the sickle end, his fingers wrapping around the "blade."

"Uh, you just lost yer fingers there."

Glenn looks at him sheepishly. "Yeah. I guess I need more practice."

He goes to pull out his laptop and opens it on his desk. He waves Daryl over and types and clicks around until he finds some videos showing people demonstrating the kusarigama. They take turns, clicking on different videos and trying out the moves for the next hour until Amy drops by and tells them it's time for dinner. Daryl thinks the warmth in his face is from the exertion of practicing with the weapon in their small room, but he still feels the flush all through dinner as he eats with Glenn, Amy, Jenny, Jim and Carol. It's not until he's settled in bed for the night and he's _still_ feeling that way, that he figures out the warm feeling is because he's happy his gift went over so well.

 

Several days into the quarter Daryl gets back to his room and puts down his bag. It's so early he's caught up in all of his classes and now his work shift just got canceled. He's got a few spare hours and doesn't know what to do with himself. He's about to head down to the computer room to start on research for his term paper when Shane pops his head into the open doorway.

"Hey, is Glenn around?"

"Nah. Saw him heading out."

Shane stays there, one hand on his hip and the other rubbing at the back of his head. "I was gonna go lift. You wanna come? Glenn usually spots for me."

Daryl considers it. He kinda feels like he's been getting weak. They've been in school for about five months and he really doesn't lift anything heavy here.

"Yeah, okay." Couldn't hurt he figures.

They head to the weight room, Shane in workout clothes, Daryl still in jeans - it's not like he's ever lifted weights before. He watches as Shane adjusts the weights on a barbell, then stands where Shane gestures when he lays down on the bench.

"So, you gettin' anywhere with Glenn?" Shane grunts as they move the bar down to his chest.

Daryl squints down at Shane. "What?!" It comes out a little louder than he intended.

"Glenn man. You makin' headway?" Shane says between lifts.

Daryl swallows and looks down at the mats below his feet. "Whad ya mean?"

"Dude, look. I know you want...in his pants. Just wonderin'...what yer doin'...to get there."

So many thoughts and emotions swirl in Daryl's head, he doesn't know which to address first. Shane somehow knows he's...he likes Glenn. And for some reason, thinks it's possible for Daryl to get in his pants? He looks at Shane, but doesn't say anything, 'cause saying something would be admitting...

Shane stops lifting, giving Daryl a jerk of his chin that indicates he should help put the weights back up on the rack and they do. Shane sits up.

"He's not gonna be available forever. You seen that Maggie girl sniffin' around? And that twink Jimmy? He's got options. You should throw yer hat in the ring...if you want 'im."

"How..How'd you know Glenn's...?" Daryl can't get the words out.

Shane scoffs. "Shit, if there's one thing I know, it's who will and will not suck a dick around here. I'm telling you, Glenn is good to go." He eyes Daryl up and down appraisingly.

"So..." Daryl starts, but pauses. He still can't get it through his head.

"You gotta step up. Grab that cherry. Cause if you don't, someone else will."

Daryl is shocked again. "Y-you think Glenn's..." He's thinking about the pile of condoms and lube Glenn and Maggie had piled on the bed that time last quarter.

"Man, you guys are so cherry it makes my dick hurt, and not in a good way," Shane scoffs. Daryl can feel eyes raking over him again. "Well, maybe a little good," Shane mutters under his breath.

Daryl looks down at his feet and still can't bring himself to say anything. It's like his whole life is in his student file and Shane's been memorizing it, and now wants to talk about it.

"Look, Daryl..." The direct address startles him and he looks up and meets Shane's eyes.

"You're in college. This is probably the safest place you're gonna find to come out. Even if there are people who don't...approve, there's way more that do. And they've got your back. You might as well take advantage. Don't waste your time worrying about whatever shit you worried about before, that stuck you in that closet. It ain't here. You're just wastin' time."

Daryl moves to sit on the bench next to Shane, worried that his legs might give out at any moment. He feels like he might be hyperventilating too.

"If you wanna have any kind of life that will make you happy, you can't pretend to be something you're not."

Daryl's never even thought of it in those terms. Happy?  He's just been trying to stay alive, keep the only family he has. In what world could he ever have both?

Shane taps Daryl on the shoulder so he stands, then Shane moves back into lifting position. "You think about it. Lemme know when you're ready for the talk." He resumes lifting even though Daryl's not in spotting position.

"The talk?" Isn't this the talk? Daryl thinks. He squints at Shane in confusion.

"The sex talk." Shane grunts from exertion.

Daryl snorts. It's a little late...wait. What?

Shane must see the dawning recognition on his face because he stops lifting again.

"I'm serious. There's condoms and lube outside my door. Help yourself."

Daryl remains silent. While the prospect of having sex with Glenn is really nice - _really_ nice...and amazing and unbelievable - he hopes it doesn't come to that. Come to him asking Shane how to have sex with Glenn. Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Squee. I've been waiting forever to post this weightlifting scene. One, I LOVE Shane and I really miss him in the show. (Especially what with Rick now turning into Shane.) I loved writing Shane giving Daryl advice on coming out. And TWO, there will finally be some forward progress on Daryl/Glenn.
> 
> And, for those of you wanting to know what Daryl's major would be, there you go: Geoscience. Studying the earth and working outdoors. I thought those would be appropriate for him. Also liked the idea of history major, and then T-Dog would encourage him to get a Ph.D. and become a professor. But he could do that in either field!
> 
> Here's a sample kusarigama. I looked for something for Daryl to carve for Glenn and aside from small models of animals and the ball in the box, a wood link chain seemed to be regarded as a more (the most?) advanced whittling project. I saw one with a small knife carved from one end and thought of the kusarigama. I grabbed this one because it reminds me of Glenn's machete.
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> And oh shit. Guys, I think i've found the person who wrote the prompt for this fic, but I'm too scared to call her/his attention to my story. meep.  
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> Posted 5/23/15 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It took me a lot longer to get back into writing than I thought. Basically I've fallen into another fandom. GAH! I'm shipping Sterek so hard right now it's ruining my life and I haven't even seen Teen Wolf! They have that 'hot, brooding, damaged older man and cute, smart, snarky younger guy vibe that is sooo reminiscent of Darlenn. I am not abandoning this fic though. I promised myself I will absolutely not watch TW until this is done. (I need ship counseling. Send help!)
> 
> About this chapter: So. Kind of a transition chapter. Sentences in italics should be thought of as spoken in Korean.

The talk with Shane doesn't exactly light a fire under Daryl's ass, but it gives him a lot to consider. He's looking at Glenn with new eyes now. Everything the kid does or says makes him wonder if Shane could be right. Still. Could he put the moves on Glenn? He's not sure.

Turns out he doesn't have to. The next day Glenn asks if Daryl would like to go to the Korean Student Association meeting. Some students are making kimchee chigae and since Daryl seemed to like it when his mom made it, Glenn asked if he'd be willing try it again.

Daryl tries not to think of it like a date, but he's glad to go. Glad to have something he and Glenn can do together, just the two of them. Well, just the two of them and the rest of the Korean Student Association. During the first part of the meeting people switch back and forth between speaking Korean and English. As far as Daryl can follow they discus community service projects, letters to social media outlets and the club's food booth at the upcoming World Cultures Festival. Once they get through the club business the president adjourns the meeting and a couple of students bring out giant pots of steaming liquid. Other members crowd around setting up the dishes, napkins and utensils.

Glenn gets two bowls and brings them to the back of the room where Daryl is sitting. It's served in glass bowls, not the black stone bowls Mrs. Rhee used. Remembering hers, he can tell this is not quite as good, but still pretty decent. And he's never one to turn down free food. The girls in the club fuss over him and bring him refills. At one point he notices that he is surrounded; they're chatting away around him and Glenn has moved off to the side, talking with a bunch of guys.

It's not until they're walking back to the dorm that Glenn speaks up, tries to make any conversation. "Uh. Did you- did you have an okay time?"

"Yeah. It was good. The soup your mom makes is better, but it was still good."

Glenn snorts. "Dude. I'll tell her that, but you don't have to kiss up to her any more. She already loves you."

That word again. Glenn sure uses it freely. Again, he doesn't know how to respond so he doesn't. They're walking in silence and he gets the uncomfortable feeling that he should be saying something. Fuck, why did he suck so hard at flirting?

"Maybe I could take you huntin' some time. Make you squirrel stew."

He suddenly notices Glenn is no longer walking next to him. He stops and looks back. Glenn had stopped walking and was looking at him with wide eyes. Almost looked scared. Shit. That was stupid. City kid like Glenn probably'd turn up his nose at eating squirrel.

"Or, um..." his mind scrambles for something else to invite Glenn to. "You wanna go to the Architecture school after tutoring this week? I'm taking the kids after they finish their work. Maybe yours would wanna come too?" He looks at Glenn nervously.

Glenn smiles hesitantly. "Uh, sure. Is that how you get them to finish their work so quickly?"

"I guess. They just like doin' stuff on campus. Seein' what college is like."

"Okay, that's cool." Glenn nods and his smile widens. "That sounds fun."

Daryl nods in return. They continue walking back to the dorm. He's satisfied with the pseudo 'date' he's planned. It's something they can do together, but the kids can be a buffer for any lame or awkward things he might say. Maybe eventually he can work up to asking Glenn out alone, just the two of them.

  
There doesn't seem to be an opportunity though. Glenn is always surrounded by people, mostly the study group. They've started studying outside, since the weather is so nice. In Atlanta there's just a short time to enjoy the mild temperatures, before the oppressive heat starts. The girls wear bikini tops and lie on beach towels with their books laid out in front of them. The guys take their shirts off and flop directly on the grass. Daryl doesn't take his shirt off, but enjoys being outdoors, and the view. Glenn has a nice tan and runs around throwing a frisbee or kicking a soccer ball during their breaks from studying.

And even if he could get Glenn alone to ask him out, it's like there wouldn't be any time to actually go out. Carol is, as usual, organizing dorm events; and on top of that the group makes plans to go to sporting events, plays, music performances, movies. Maybe they had always done this but just started inviting Daryl recently. He joins in now, goes to the things that Glenn goes to. Except it's with _everyone,_ so not an opportunity to be alone with Glenn or anything.

He almost gets a chance one week when the group has plans to go to a movie. Amy backs out because she wants to do something with a club she's joined. Carol is out with Ed celebrating his promotion at work. Jenny hit it off with Rick's friend Morgan so they're on a date. Rick is out with Lori, they're working stuff out. Daryl only knows all this because Glenn fills him in on everyone's business. He's never known so much stuff about so many people. Daryl at first thinks Glenn is letting him know why they won't be doing anything that night, but then he asks Daryl if he still wants to go.

"Uh. Yeah, so, no one else is around, but...do you still want to go to the movie?"

Daryl actually perks up at the news. He's even happy that it's a movie that he might enjoy and not some ballet or opera he'd have to sit through.

"Yeah, okay," he's answering and they both hear Glenn's phone buzz.

Glenn looks at it and glances up at Daryl. "It's Maggie, hang on." He quickly sends a text. After a few seconds it buzzes again.

He reads it and looks at Daryl, a weird look on his face.

"Her sister is visiting and they want to come to the movies, is that okay?"

Daryl nods, even though he wants to say no. Goddammit!  So instead of having a night alone at the movies with Glenn, it's Glenn, Maggie, her sister Beth, and Daryl. He doesn't even get to sit next to Glenn since somehow they shuffle seats until he's between Maggie and Beth. Maggie of course is talking to Glenn. Beth asks him lots of questions and he answers them without being too gruff. She's a sweet kid. He could see, if he were interested in girls, being interested in her. She's just the type people back home, like Merle, would approve of. Maybe he could have dated her at one time. Could have made himself take an interest in her, ask her out. But...not anymore. Not now that he knows what he wants. And knows what he wants could be within his grasp.

 

Glenn's tutoring kids enjoy the Architecture outing, seeing the miniature models of buildings and bridges the students constructed as their final projects, and ask to go out with Daryl's group every week. Glenn agrees, even asks Daryl if it's okay for them to tag along. Glenn said 'we'. Is it okay if _we_ tag along. That means Glenn will come too. So that's more time they'll spend together.

So, things are moving along nicely, Daryl thinks, when he gets a wake up call.

They're walking back from the service center after dropping the kids off at the van that takes them back to their neighborhood school. Just outside their dorm someone calls out.

"Hey, Glenn!" They both stop and turn around towards the voice.

"Oh, hey Jimmy!" Glenn answers.

Daryl takes a second glance and recognizes that guy that showed up with Glenn at the hospital.  So this is Jimmy.  He remembers Shane mentioned him as one of Glenn's "options".  Daryl's stomach churns. What if Glenn likes this guy? He's good looking, tall with lean muscles. Hot even, he'd admit if he weren't so threatened by him.  Jimmy walks up to Glenn and gives him a hug. Daryl can't even hear what they're talking about because there's panic or jealousy creating a buzzing in his ears, making his stomach clench.  What if Glenn gets together with Jimmy because he's an idiot and can't tell him he likes him?  They're talking and laughing. Daryl steps forward so his body is behind and just to the side of Glenn's.  He stares at Jimmy and hopes he gets the message that Glenn is off limits. He must, because Jimmy meets Daryl's eyes and he falters at whatever he's saying. Once Jimmy leaves Daryl backs away, satisfied. Now he just needs do the same to Maggie, and whoever else is lined up to get with Glenn.

He's been enjoying himself, taking his time, but now he knows he has to step up his game. It's hard to convince himself to make a move with everything that's holding him back, but the chance of losing out on being with Glenn is enough to make him at least try.

 

* * *

 

Glenn gets a great idea to invite Daryl to the KSA meeting. They'll be serving kimchee chigae and Daryl liked it when his mom made it so... So maybe it was a lame excuse to hang out with Daryl, but who cares? During the meeting he watches Daryl out of the corner of his eye, worried he might be getting bored. Finally they start serving up the soup and Glenn gets two bowls for them. Before he can even start a conversation they're surrounded by girls asking to be introduced or introducing themselves to Daryl. He resigns himself to wait until the girls are done talking, but somehow when he gets up to refill his water bottle, his seat is taken over. It doesn't matter though because he's grabbed by a bunch of the guys.

" _Hey, man. Why'd you bring the white guy?"_

 _"So uncool. He's fucking stealing all our girls."_ They all look over and Glenn notices that yes, Daryl is surrounded by at least half the girls at the meeting, but also that he looks uncomfortable and isn't really talking to any of them.

But still, he didn't think of that. Shit, why did it seem like everything he invited Daryl to pushed him into the arms of some girl? First the blind date, now these girls. He just wants to get to know Daryl better, spend time with him, maybe introduce him to new experiences. Specifically, experiences of things that are important to Glenn. Lord knows Rick has eaten his share of gimbap, eomuk, and duk mandoo guk over the years just from being friends with Glenn.

On the walk home Daryl makes a weird comment - Did he really say _squirrel stew_? He didn't look like he was joking or anything though so maybe he genuinely wanted to make it for Glenn out of some weird reciprocity. Maybe it's a cultural or traditional thing for his family. Like what chigae is for Glenn. Glenn can't find his voice to respond.

The thing with the tutoring kids though, that he can do. More time with Daryl. That turns out to be a really fun afternoon and his kids want to do more stuff with Daryl. Glenn can't blame them.

 

Something else to be happy about - Amy decides she's ready to start going out. Not, like, to parties, but small events with just their friends. So Glenn and Jenny are glad to make plans. Just whatever theater performances, sporting events or movies are going on around campus. Carol brings her boyfriend Ed - apparently they were high school sweethearts. Maggie comes too. Rick brings Lori. Jim sometimes comes and brings his girlfriend.

Glenn is surprised that when they invite Daryl he agrees to come along, to almost everything. Even things he wouldn't think Daryl would be interested in. Suddenly Daryl is a joiner. Glenn doesn't understand the complete one-eighty, but he's not complaining.

One Saturday the group is going to the movies, but then everyone starts backing out.  Glenn nervously explains to Daryl that everyone else has other plans, then asks if he still wants to see the movie. He's nervous but at the same time feels so proud of himself. He feels like he's just asked Daryl on a _date_ and it essentially will be because it will be just the two of them going to a _movie._ His happiness is short-lived when his phone buzzes with a new text.

Maggie's sister is visiting and they'll be coming to the movies too. Aw crap.

The movie is awkward as hell. It's like a farce the way they keep shuffling around, trying to switch seats. Maggie clearly wants Daryl to sit next to Beth, but Glenn keeps trying to switch it around, trying to somehow let Daryl sit next to Beth but next to him too. Maggie looks irritated.

"Listen, maybe Daryl will be interested in Beth and he can...get his own social life that doesn't revolve around- . Anyway, you gotta let them talk!" She whispers this to him when they get settled in their seats.

"Oh. Okay." Glenn didn't realize when she texted that Maggie was intending to set them up.  Beth and Daryl.  He can see that. In fact, they'd make a really cute couple. Honestly, she looks like the type Daryl should go for.

Glenn realizes he's been holding out hope that Daryl is gay and he really shouldn't. They'd been spending more time together, Daryl had made him that carving, and so it was easy to pretend there was something there. But now he knows it will just hurt like hell if -  _when -_ Daryl starts dating someone. He should really try (again) to find someone who has a chance of returning his feelings.

 

Glenn runs into Jimmy while walking back to the dorm with Daryl. After a sort of awkward hug Jimmy asks what he's been up to, what classes he's taking. Glenn asks the same. He thinks Jimmy is about to ask him out this weekend when suddenly he seems distracted.

"Maybe we could - " Jimmy stops in mid sentence and glances over Glenn's shoulder. Glenn turns his head and is startled to see Daryl standing there. Right there. Jimmy looks back a Glenn with a weird look, eyebrows raised.

"Maybe I'll see you around. At a party again or something." Jimmy takes a few steps backwards before turning and getting on his bike. He rides off, giving a quick wave.

Huh. That was kind of abrupt and weird. It's just as well, though.  He didn't really feel like making plans with Jimmy in front of Daryl.  But...okay.  Now Daryl is going to be going out with Beth and Glenn doesn't even have Jimmy's interest anymore.  Fuck his life.

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sexual fantasizing and masturbation

Daryl comes back to an empty room after a long day of class, work, studying and problem sets. He has plans to get up early and visit Merle the next day so he doesn't even turn on the room light, just drops his backpack and kicks it further into the room. He uses the small sink light and brushes his teeth and splashes water on his face.   When he shucks his jeans he leaves them on the floor. After a pause he pulls off his shirt and drops it on top of his jeans. Normally he wouldn't be so messy, but Glenn has gone home for the night and he doesn't feel any pressure right now to keep his side neat for the sake of someone else. He usually picks up after himself but sometimes you just feel like leaving your clothes on the floor. He turns off the small light and climbs into bed. The cool sheet and scratchy blanket feel good against his skin. This is how he usually sleeps at home - just boxers - but at school he wears a t-shirt and sweats to sleep, his scarred back something he wants to keep private.

The sensation of the blanket catching and tickling at the hair on his legs and chest lights up the nerve endings in his skin. He takes a deep breath and runs his hand over his stomach. Touching himself in bed is also something he doesn't get a chance to do here. Standing wanks in the shower get the job done, but sometimes you just want to relax. He moves his hand down, under the waistband of his boxers. His fingers comb through his pubic hair and then curl around the base of his dick and it twitches in interest.

Actually, jerking off in a bed is something Daryl hasn't done as often as most guys his age. Growing up he couldn't do that in the house. Never knew when his daddy would drunkenly barge into the room looking for Daryl to get him some smokes, some drinks, or for a fight. Sometimes Merle would be there, sleeping off a bender. For personal time Daryl would go into the woods, far off from the house. Shoot his load against a tree or rock or onto the ground where he could kick leaves and dirt to cover it. Once his daddy died and Merle moved into the other room he had some privacy. But still, you never knew when Merle would drunkenly barge in, looking for Daryl to get him some smokes or some drinks. Only when Merle went to prison did Daryl have real alone time in a bedroom, in a bed.

His hand is still in his boxers as he strokes himself and it's starting to hinder his movements so he uses his left hand to throw off the blanket and shove his boxers down his hips. He kicks them off the rest of the way.

He has to get some tissues before he gets too far so he gets up and grabs the box Glenn keeps on his dresser. He's tempted to go over to Glenn's bed and grab his pillow too. Hold it over his face as he wanks so he can smell the kid's scent. Pretend it's Glenn getting him off. But he doesn't. He knows he'd feel guilty about it every time he saw that dark head of hair lying on it. Guilty and probably turned on. And what if he accidentally bites it or drools on it? Glenn might notice. No, it's best if he doesn't.

Still, he thinks about Glenn, like he does every time, what feels like hundreds of times now.

He pictures Glenn curled up by his side, tucked up under his arm, using his hand. Then he imagines Glenn moving over his body, moving down, his face hovering over his dick, looking up at him with those wide eyes. Then licking him playfully. That's how he imagines Glenn; playful, teasing. Always that way, even if he's blowing Daryl.

He imagines Glenn opening his mouth taking him all the way in, bobbing his head up and down in long strokes. Daryl stops to lick his palm and re-grasps his dick, trying to simulate the feeling of a warm, wet mouth. It's not even close, the spit only causing stickiness after a while, rather than a smooth glide - so he wipes his hand off on the sheet and continues stroking slowly.

He thinks about the past month and going out with Glenn and the group. If he squints, he can almost pretend they've been going on dates. He can usually manage to sit next to Glenn when they're in the theater or auditorium. Sometimes their arms bump or brush against each other on the arm rest. It feels kind of pathetic to get so excited over such small contact so he tries not to dwell on those brief touches.  They walk back to the dorm together, usually walking Maggie to her dorm first. It's a long walk back from her place so they have a lot of time just the two of them, since Amy's been going to some support group, Carol's with Ed, and Rick and Lori have been working something out.  Glenn always carries the conversation. Daryl's glad because otherwise he might say something stupid again. Something that would scare Glenn off, or make him regret inviting him to all these things in the first place.

He imagines holding Glenn's hand on the way back from some show. Stopping whenever he feels like it to pull him into a kiss. In the darkness under a tree or even under the bright light of a street lamp. They'd get back to the room and immediately pull the clothes off each other. Daryl imagines sinking to his knees and taking Glenn into his mouth. He'd suck Glenn off until he came, moaning and pulling at Daryl's hair.  Daryl imagines swallowing it down; he imagines that would be the hottest thing, doing that for Glenn, wanting him so bad, wanting to make him feel good.

Daryl can feel himself getting close but he doesn't want to come yet. He's taking his time since he has the room to himself. It really is relaxing, compared to his rushed time in the shower every morning. He doesn't have to keep silent either, muffle his breathing so that no one will figure out what he's doing. Not that he's screaming Glenn's name now. The doors and walls are pretty thin after all. He can, however, moan quietly. Allow his breathing to come naturally, which at this point is pretty ragged. He imagines getting Glenn on the bed. Maybe they'd rub off against each other or - he goes back to his first thoughts where Glenn is blowing him.

His hand speeds up at the image. Glenn's lips stretched over his dick, dark eyelashes fanning over his cheeks as he's working Daryl, eyes wide when he looks up.

Daryl can't keep himself quiet anymore.

"Oh, fuck yeah. Ah...uhhhh...uhhhhhh.   Oh, God. Oh, Glenn, yeah. Make me- uh. Make me come!"

His hand moves quickly over himself and he squeezes tighter, holding his dick away from his body and focusing on the building ache. His other hand lets go of the sheet under him. He imagines Glenn bringing his hand up to touch and stroke his balls as he does it to himself.

"Aw...shit. Glenn...So good. Kid, I'm gonna....uhhhhh." Daryl comes hard and long, come spurting into the tissue he scrambles to hold over himself at the last minute.

In his mind Glenn swallows his come and moves up to snuggle into his side.

 

After he catches his breath and the sex haze lifts, he rolls himself off the bed and walks to the sink, tossing the used tissue into the trash can. He cleans up a bit more with his washcloth, then gets back into bed. He doesn't even bother trying to find his boxers.

He thinks about Glenn at home, eating dinner with his family. Making plans for the weekend. Will his mom try to set Glenn up on another date, maybe with Katie, maybe some new girl?  Daryl imagines himself visiting them again, sitting at the dining table, listening to them speaking to each other in Korean.

He drifts to sleep imagining arriving at Glenn's parents' front door to pick Glenn up for a date, Mr. Rhee shaking his hand and Mrs. Rhee giving him a hug, Ella hanging back in the living room but smiling. The last thing he remembers is picturing taking Glenn by the hand and walking out to his truck together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry so short. The next section is super long so I didn't feel I could put them together in one chapter. Plus, there's only so much masturbation I can write.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warning: masturbation. I can write this all day, ha! You're welcome.  
> Oh yeah. There's a spoilery warning in the end notes if you need it.

Glenn has plans to join his parents for dinner on Friday evening and then stay at home for the night. They say they have some good news to share. But Ella calls before he even gets back to his dorm after class. She's in tears and he can barely make it out through her gasping and crying and the surrounding noise (he's still in the hallway outside of his Chemistry section) but he finally figures out that his parents' "good news" is that they are moving back to Michigan. They've made enough money to be able to afford a nice house back in their old neighborhood. Back with family and old friends.

He feels for El.  He really does. He remembers what it was like to move from Michigan to Georgia and it wasn't easy.  He tries to reassure her that things will work out but it doesn't seem to convince her. She's still sobbing when they hang up and he promises to call their parents and discuss it.

That's big news, but it wouldn't affect him much since he's already pretty much moved out. Sure he won't be able to go home to get his laundry done but that's okay.  He can deal with that small inconvenience. When he gets back to the room he calls his mom to let her know he's talked to Ella and knows the news. She's giddy almost. Well, to her it's kind of a celebration...dinner out would be to celebrate, but he wants to tell her not to make such a big deal about it since Ella is so distraught.

Then his mom says, "You have to set a good example," in that emphatic way that means she's expecting him to do what she says.  Glenn pauses for a moment, wondering what she could mean by that.

"Wait, what do you mean? How?"

"You'll move back too. You can go to school in Michigan. Mr. Park is a professor at Ann Arbor. He will help your application. You have very good grades. It won't be a problem!"  She sounds so happy.  Glenn is stunned.  Why in the world would he need to move too? 

"Ommah we need to talk about this. I'm doing great here, I have friends, I'm happy. I want to stay."

"Nonsense!  This will be a better school. We are paying for your education: You will do as we say!"

"What?  You can't be serious!  If I stay you won't pay for school?  You'd rather I not go to school?  You'd rather I drop out?"

"Dr. Kang Will help with your med school applications. It will be better.  We will be close by. You can help Ella with her college applications."

"That's like, three years away! I'll be done with school by then."

"She needs you."

A sense of dread grows in his chest. He's always kind of gone along with his parents' plans, but until now they weren't unreasonable. He got okay grades in high school, not straight A's like they would have wanted. They blamed it on his having to hold down the pizza delivery job along with school work so he was given a pass of sorts. He applied to all the ivy league schools like they asked but didn't get into any.  His parents were okay with that too since at one point he might have had to live at home to save money, so Atlanta was a fine option. Things up until now had just sort of worked out so that they were all happy.

"We can't have you all the way across the country. What if something happens?"

"It's not across the country!  And what could happen?  If I got into Harvard would you not have let me go because it's too far from Atlanta?"

"No, of course not. It's Harvard. If you get in, you go."

The conversation continues in this vein for quite a while. His mom gets his dad to join in on the other phone line and they team up, which is bad news for Glenn. He feels hot tears sliding down his cheeks and brushes them away angrily.

By the time they hang up, Glenn has told them he's not coming home that night. He needs time to think. He feels bad for leaving Ella alone, but he really doesn't think he can face his parents and their unreasonable demands right now. He is in his room, slumped on the floor in a corner, tucked between his desk and the tall set of drawers. He thinks about how happy he's been at school, even more so than high school. He has a great group of friends and just has the feeling he's where he's supposed to be, doing what he's supposed to be doing. He thinks about Daryl and the possibility of never seeing him again. Something in his chest aches at the thought. More hot tears slide down his cheeks. He lowers his head to his arms which are folded over his drawn up knees.

 

Sometime later he opens his eyes and the room is pitch black. He must have fallen asleep without realizing it. He blinks and waits for the fogginess to clear from his head and notices the rustling of bedding. It must be really late and Daryl must be asleep. He's about to stand and stretch when he is startled out of moving by a soft grunt. He stays still and listens carefully. The rustling continues, rhythmically. Daryl's breathing is faster than the usual slow, easy breaths Glenn listens to when he falls asleep at night, and sounds slightly harsher. Glenn feels his whole body flush and tingle with the realization that Daryl is jacking off in bed, five feet away from him.

Glenn's hand moves slowly to the growing bulge in his jeans, trying hard not to make any noise. He really wants to pull it out. No, what he really wants to do is stand up and go push Daryl's hand away and sink his mouth over Daryl's dick. He tries to slide his fingers below the waistband of his jeans but it's no go with him sitting as he is. Damn his too tight clothes. He tries to pop the top button on the fly but runs into his belt buckle. Obviously he can't undo it - it would make too much noise. He sits up taller and is able to slowly pull down the zipper without making noise, he hopes. He slips his fingers through the opening and rubs his hard-on through his underwear.

Daryl's breaths are growing harsher and Glenn hopes the sound will drown out any noise he makes. He's able to shift so his dick is upright in his pants, not so uncomfortably squished sideways.  After a little more maneuvering he pushes the head through the slit in his boxers and the precome that had been soaking into the material beads up on the tip.  He still has to rub the shaft through his boxers though, but it feels good enough that he has to bite his lip to stop from moaning.

The rhythmic sounds are growing faster and Glenn can hear more quiet grunts, more moans, more soft noises in general coming from Daryl. The bed frame creaks.

"Oh, fuck yeah. Ah...uhhhh...uhhhhhh.   Oh, God. Oh, Glenn, yeah. Make me- uh. Make me come!"

Glenn's mouth falls open and he clamps his hand over it to prevent a gasp from escaping. Daryl is still moaning, still whispering his name, so he must not have heard him.

"Aw...shit. Glenn...So good. Kid, I'm gonna....uhhhhh."

Glenn holds his breath as Daryl lets out a series of grunts, each one coming out slower and more drawn out than the last, until he takes a deep, shaky breath, seems to hold it for a few seconds, then blows it out slowly. Glenn's eyes are wide and his hand is pressing the base of his dick, holding off his own orgasm. He doesn't dare move since he's sure Daryl's senses are coming back to normal now. He wouldn't be distracted by the sound of his own breathing, his arm and hand slapping against his body and by his impending orgasm.

Also, he's afraid - even if he can come silently - that the smell of jizz might catch Daryl's attention. Because, he's totally imagining that he can smell Daryl's come. Fuck, he wants to go over and lick it up so badly.

After a few minutes, when Glenn thinks Daryl is going to fall asleep, the bed frame creaks loudly. Daryl pushes off the bed with a grunt and pads over to the in-room sink. The small light comes on and Glenn hears the water running and a towel rustling. He tries to make himself as small as possible, though it really isn't any use. He's hidden from view, unless Daryl walks to the end of the room, and if he does there's no hiding at all. The light goes off and the bed creaks again and he can hear Daryl settling in.

It feels like forever but Glenn waits until he is sure Daryl is asleep, based on his slow quiet breathing, and then waits some more. His dick is, thankfully, soft by this time. He finally moves to crawl out of the corner and his muscles twinge in protest, pins and needles everywhere. He has to stretch out face down on the floor and let the blood redistribute through his body. He flexes each muscle group and when he is satisfied he won't get a cramp, pushes up to his hands and knees. He crawls to the door (and it reminds him of the day after that first party, when he had that hangover and had to crawl to the door to let Amy in) and gets to his knees to open the door. Luckily, before he crawls out he remembers to zip up. He might have given someone quite the show. He goes into the hallway and closes the door quietly. He stands there for a moment, to make sure he doesn't hear any more movement from inside, but also because he's not sure what he should do. His memory rewinds and replays the sound of Daryl calling his name while coming. He feels his dick stir. Before his hard-on can make a total comeback he walks quickly to the bathroom. Once inside, he stands there, confused.

He doesn't have his soap or shampoo, or _towel._ So taking a shower just to wank, and then putting on his old dirty clothes again just seems gross. He looks at the bathroom stalls. Choosing the one with the smallest gaps between the panels, he goes in.

Facing the toilet, he unbuttons and lowers his jeans and boxers. He puts his left hand on the panel to his side and takes himself into his right hand. It just takes two strokes to bring himself to full hardness. Again, he thinks of Daryl saying his name. It's such a nice thought.

Glenn can feel his balls drawing up, he's rather surprised it happens so quickly, but of course he should take into consideration the time he spent rubbing it in the room. He pictures Daryl on his knees sucking him off. Wait, if he's blowing Glenn, he can't say his name. So Glenn changes his fantasy. _He's_ on his knees sucking _Daryl's_ cock.

"Oh yeah, Glenn. You feel so good. Yer mouth feels so fucking good, you're gonna make me come. Oh god, Glenn, make me come!"

Glenn comes hard, his body jerking uncontrollably. His come shoots out wildly, getting on the toilet, on the wall and floor. He slumps to the side and leans his weight on the stall wall. When his breath finally comes back to him he pulls out a bunch of toilet paper and wipes up what he can find of his load. Just in time, too. Someone comes in and uses the urinal. He still needs a moment to gather himself and doesn't want to seem like a weirdo so he puts down a seat cover, sits and pretends to go to the bathroom. Actually, he _tries_ to go to the bathroom, but it doesn't happen. He knows this is because he just came, so he waits for the refractory period to pass.

His mind drifts back to Daryl. Daryl in bed, his fingers wrapped around his own dick. He tries to picture Daryl's dick, but can't. The guy keeps himself very carefully clothed at all times. Hell, Glenn and Rick have a no-nudity type of friendship and he's gotten glances here and there. He's human. He has _eyes._ So never seeing Daryl's dick, not even the outline of it through underwear, is disappointing to say the least.

His hands though...

Glenn knows Daryl's hands, can picture them in his sleep. The palms are large and wide, but his fingers taper almost delicately at his finger tips. The nails are sometimes dirty. He's always wanted to feel those fingers on him. Daryl touching his face, his neck, his chest, his stomach, dragging lower...

Glenn hears the other person leave the bathroom and that's when he notices he's still not peeing. Yeah, maybe that's because he's hard again. He looks down and his erection is pointing up at him. Fuck. He tries to push it down, hoping it will go away. It springs back up defiantly. He sighs and wraps his fingers around it again. This time he thinks of fucking Daryl. Daryl on his back on his bed, knees raised up, and Glenn pushed into him flush, thrusting in and out. Or. Or _Daryl's_ fucking _Glenn_. Daryl's fucking Glenn and holding and rubbing his dick at the same time. He really can't decide which is better.

Someone else comes into the bathroom and Glenn freezes. Luckily whoever it is uses the urinal quickly and leaves (without washing hands Glenn notes disgustedly). He suddenly worries that someone will come in to take a long ass dump so he starts jerking again and quickly ramps up his stroke rate.

He pictures Daryl's face as he's fucking into him, imagines Daryl's fingers digging into his butt. And that voice. That voice saying his name.

"Oh, Glenn, yeah. You feel so good! Oh God, Glenn, I'm gonna come!"

This time he's prepared. Has a wad of toilet paper over his dick to catch his come. He bites his lips together to muffle his moans and make sure he doesn't yell. The orgasm tears through him, almost stronger than the last one. The convulsions have him scrambling to hold himself upright and not fall off the toilet. After, he waits for his body to calm down but the post orgasmic shakes give way to still more trembling. There's a dull ache in his balls he notes as he stands and zips up. When he's washing his hands he sees his reflection. He's flushed and sweaty so he splashes his face with water. His hands are still shaking.

Shit. What should he do now?

A few minutes later he's knocking on Amy's door. She opens it, takes one look at him and her eyes go wide.

"What happened?"

Glenn is startled. Okay, maybe he looks a little rough, what with the bathroom jerk session _s_. He feels his face flush and he wonders if they're close enough friends that he can tell her, I just heard Daryl call my name when he was jacking-off, then I had to sneak out of the room and then jack _myself_ off - twice - in a bathroom stall. He's thinking that he really can't say this, no matter how delicately he phrases it, without betraying Daryl, when she speaks up again.

"I thought you were going home tonight!"

Glenn's shoulders sink in relief. "Um. My parents told me they're moving back to Michigan and they want me to go too. I didn't want to get into it with them so I didn't go home."

Amy's eyes are wide with shock and she pulls him into the room. He can smell her perfume and see the shine of her lip gloss.

"You're going out." He pulls back, ready to go to Rick's.

"Pfft. This is more important. What's going to happen?"

He tells her the story with his parents and she sits next to him on the bed rubbing his back. When he finishes he feels his body sag, but he doesn't think he can fall asleep now. She's asking questions about Michigan, trying to suggest ideas for staying in Atlanta, but his head is not in the conversation. He's thinking about Daryl and being with him. If he thinks about moving at all it's because he wonders how they can be together when (if) he has to move.

"Can I sleep here tonight? It's hard to explain, but I don't want to go back to my room."

"Sure. No problem." She doesn't even ask why. He gives her a tired, grateful smile. But thinking about what a good friend she is makes him remember that he might be separated from all his friends next year and his eyes sting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Unintentional voyeurism and non-consensual voyeurism: Glenn falls asleep in the room in a hidden place (and Daryl doesn't turn on the light) so Glenn wakes and overhears Daryl masturbating and calling Glenn's name. 
> 
> A/N: My masturbation consultant tells me it's unrealistic to jack off in a bathroom stall (or in the shower for that matter). Apparently my understanding of male masturbation is all wrong. I say to him, FU. This is my story. If I want Glenn to jerk it in a bathroom stall and get jizz everywhere, then dammit, he'll jerk it in a bathroom stall and get jizz everywhere! #jizzeverywhere @azizansari
> 
> Shoutout to Zhang and Bella_Monoxide for picking up on my breadcrumbs and figuring out what came next. Sorry for misleading you guys in my comments, but I wanted to keep the surprise of this chapter.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sheesh. I don't even know. I'm reading back through old chapters trying to get re-inspired and I'm looking at this time last year (LAST YEAR! IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF, WAHHHH!) And it's not inspiring me. It's depressing me. I see how enthusiastic I was and remember how I spent every spare second working on this and, ugh. Sorry guys.
> 
> But wait. It's been so long I forgot. I wanted to thank everyone who commented, especially on the last chapter! You guys keep my spirits up! I guess it takes lots and lots of masturbation to bring everyone out, huh? I see how it is.

The next morning Glenn has Amy knock on his door to see if Daryl is in.  She reports back that there's no answer so Glenn goes to get his stuff to take a shower.  Only he doesn't have his keys!  They're on his desk where he left them when he crawled out of the room last night.  Luckily Shane is around and lets him in with the master key.  

As he unlocks the door Shane gives him a raised eyebrow.  "Rough night?"

"I...fell asleep at Amy's," he explains lamely.

"Riight."

Glenn drags himself into the room but turns around suddenly, realizing he could really use some advice.

"Shane!"  His RA stops and turns around.  When Glenn hesitates to say anything more he walks back, eyebrow quirked again.  "If you were interested in someone and you found out they were interested in you too...how would you...what-"

"It depends.  Guy or girl?"  Shane's question startles him.  It's asked so matter-of-factly, without any judgment.  Okay, maybe he hasn't been _so_ successful in hiding his sexuality as he thought.  Or maybe Shane is just that good.

"Uh...guy."

"Is he out?"

"No."  Glenn marvels at Shane’s ability to get right to the point.  Okay, the man really is _that good_.

"So, he might get scared off easily."  Not really a question, but Shane waits for a response.

"Yeah.  Uh, yeah."  Glenn nods slowly, imagining Daryl getting mad, storming off.

Shane nods in understanding.  "Well then, I'd probably..." He rubs the back of his head in thought.  "Probably start out with small touches."  He taps Glenn gently on the front of his shoulder, then drops his hand back to his own waist.  "Help him get used to the contact."  Shane touches Glenn behind the elbow, like he's about to lead him somewhere, then drops his hand again.  His fingers move forward again and he grasps Glenn's forearm loosely, his fingers brushing along skin this time as he draws his hand away.  Glenn shivers.  Shane looks into his eyes.  "Think that might help?"  He puts his hand on Glenn's shoulder and squeezes.  Glenn nods, eyes wide with...something.

Shane slides his hand across to the back of Glenn's neck and lingers, then slides further across his shoulders, aligning his body so they are standing side by side.  Glenn feels his stomach tingling.  Shit, how does Shane _do_ that?

"You wouldn't..."  Glenn's voice is low and rough.  He clears it and starts over,  "You wouldn't say anything?"

"Well.  If he can stand there and let you touch him, then yeah, I guess I'd say something.  If he's scared off, he's probably not ready."

"Okay, yeah."  Glenn nods.

"That help?"

"I think so.  Thanks."

"Anytime."  Shane ruffles Glenn's hair as he leaves.

 

Glenn thinks about the advice as he's showering and when he's back in his room.  He thinks about Daryl joining the group, first to study then for socializing.  Well, as much as you can call it socializing.  Daryl hardly talks except with Glenn, and sometimes with Carol when she shows up.  Now that he thinks about it, Daryl has always stuck close to Glenn.  How did he not notice that?  But, well, he sort of did.  He just chalked it up to being the person Daryl knew the best in the group after Carol.  Also, he'd been too preoccupied with his own thoughts, getting excited when he got to do stuff with Daryl, got to sit near him or talk to him, to notice.  He didn't even think about what Daryl's motivations might be.

So maybe it's because Daryl likes him.  Isn't that what it means when someone calls out your name when they're jerking off?  But maybe he jerks it to different people, and last night just happened to be about Glenn.  Does that mean Glenn might have a chance?  If you jerk it when thinking about someone, doesn't that mean you'd have sex with them?  Would you date that person?

The thing is, sure Glenn would like to have sex with Daryl, he really, really would, but he'd also like to...be with him; hang out, study together, eat meals together.  Have more time like when they walk back from Maggie's dorm and talk about stuff.  Glenn realizes with surprise that it sort of already feels like they’ve been dating.  Well, in a completely non-sexual way.

Slowly, without even realizing it, Glenn has gotten to know Daryl.  Absolutely tiny bits of information, gleaned from comments here and there, cobbled together to form a picture.  How his mom died in a house fire when he was young.  He doesn't talk about his brother being in jail, but sometimes he does talk about Merle.  How he taught Daryl how to hunt or made sure he knew how to handle himself in a fight. How Merle always made sure there was enough food, clothes, whatever, so that Daryl didn't have to drop out of school to get a job.

As little as he talks about himself, about Merle and his mother, Daryl _really_ doesn’t like talking about his father.  What Glenn gets is that Daryl mostly tried avoiding him, was afraid of him.  And no wonder.  If Daryl was...if Daryl’s dad thought or suspected that Daryl was gay…  Glenn can’t even imagine what that would have been like.

He knows the fact that Daryl didn't even think about going to college until one of his teachers suggested he apply.  She also helped him apply for financial aid and scholarship programs.  Which is a new perspective for Glenn.  Everyone he knew growing up expected to go to college.  Sure, some of his friends didn't want to, but at the very least they enrolled in city college.  No one he was close to even had to worry about paying for it either.  The common attitude among his friends' parents was, ‘You worry about getting into school, we'll worry about how to pay for it.’

Except now Glenn is in a boat with the kids who have to put themselves through college.  And because he never knew anybody in that boat, he doesn’t even know what to do.

And why the hell is he just finding out about Daryl's feelings - interest- sexuality - _now_?  Glenn is going to have to transfer to Michigan or, if he tries to stay in Atlanta, have to drop out for a while to try and save up money for tuition. So where does that leave them?  Is there even a _them_ he should worry about?  He's getting ahead of himself.  He needs to find out what this is, or what it could be.  If he has a chance with Daryl, will he really follow his parents demands and move?  If Daryl rejects him will it make it easier to leave?  

Actually.  Yes, it probably would.

He needs to try and say something.  Try something.  Or just say something.  He goes back and forth.

Glenn kicks around the room, not sure what to do with himself while he waits for Daryl to come back. He's been staring at the same page in his Chem workbook but his mind is a mess of fake scenarios of telling Daryl he likes him.  Somehow they all end badly.  Daryl storming off.  Daryl punching him.  Daryl asking Dale for a roommate reassignment.

With a groan of frustration he wrenches himself off his bed and heads over to Rick's, texting his friend to make sure he's in, that he needs to talk.  Rick is in and texts back that he wants to talk too.

When he gets there, the door opens and immediately Glenn knows something is wrong.  Rick's normally tamed curly hair is wild and ruffled like he'd been running his hands through it and pulling.  His eyes are unfocused and glassy.  Not crying, but knowing Rick as well as he does, he can tell it's a near thing.  Any thoughts of talking about Michigan immediately fly out the window.

"Hey.  What-"

"Lori and I broke up."  The admission startles Glenn.  Rick had been spending time away from the group - with Lori, so he thought they had worked out their problems.  Couple time and whatnot.  Apparently not.

So what ultimately sealed the deal, what it comes down to is that Lori is going abroad next year so they agreed they wouldn't try to make it work long distance.  

Glenn's thoughts move from Rick and Lori breaking up to avoid the long distance thing, to wondering about having a long distance relationship with Daryl, when he faintly registers Rick's voice going up in the sound of a question.

"Huh- Wha?" he asks guiltily, knowing he should be paying attention.

"Hey man.  Were you even listening?  I mean, I know...maybe you're tired of hearing about our problems, but this is really it.  She's going abroad next year and I don't even think we'll see each other over the summer."

"Sorry.  Yeah, you're totally right.  I should... I wasn't...  I'm distracted."

"What's going on?"  He sounds concerned, not even mad.  Seriously.  Rick is the coolest.

"My parents are moving back to Michigan and they want me to transfer there?"  The words come out sounding more like a question.

"Whoa."  Rick sits up and turns to Glenn.

"I know."

"Holy shit!"

" _I know._ "

They look at each other in silence for a minute.

"You can probably live with my parents and commute here.  I don't think they'd mind.  You can have my room.  They'll probably like you better than me - you're neater."  They both laugh.

"Thanks.  I, uh, haven't figured out what to do yet.  The tuition would still be a shit load.  But I'll keep that in mind as an option."  He smiles at Rick gratefully.

He doesn't mention the thing with Daryl.  Really the only thing he would say is admit to having feelings for the guy, but Rick would ask why he’s suddenly interested and would probably be able to get it out of him, the discovery of Daryl’s Glenn-focused masturbation session.  It would all come spilling out because Glenn just can’t keep a secret.

Plus, what would that even accomplish?

He wants to find out if he has a chance first.  Instead they switch back and forth between talking about Michigan and Lori the rest of the afternoon and through dinner.  Finally, when there's nothing more to say that hasn't been said, they play Call of Duty until their eyes are tired and Glenn needs to get back.

Glenn pulls himself to standing and moves towards the door.

"I should get back.  Talk to...talk to my parents.  You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."  Rick slips his hand behind Glenn's neck and holds it there, looking intently into his eyes.  "We'll be fine.  It's gonna be okay."

Glenn nods and Rick pulls him into a hug.

-

From down the hallway Glenn sees Daryl letting himself into their room.  He walks over, slowing as he reaches the door.  He's not sure what he's going to say.  Daryl has gone in and closed the door so Glenn unlocks it and slowly pushes it open.

Daryl is picking up his clothes from the floor.

"Hey."

Daryl looks up at him and nods.  "How's your family?"

"Oh.  I didn't go home."  Glenn sees Daryl's eyes widen in surprise, then his eyebrows draw together in confusion.  He glances at Glenn's bed which is still made from the day before.

"Oh, I was at Amy's until pretty late, and then fell asleep there."

Daryl raises an eyebrow.  "Won't Maggie be pissed?"  he asks, somewhat gruffly.

"W-what? Why?"  Glenn's pretty sure he has a 'you're crazy' look on his face.

"She's pretty into you."  Daryl explains.

"Amy and I...  No, Maggie... we're not together or anything.  We're just friends.  We're all just friends. So."

"Hm."  Daryl shrugs then moves around Glenn to get to the closet with his laundry when Glenn can get his voice working again.

"My parents want me to leave Atlanta.  They're moving back to Michigan and want me to transfer to Ann Arbor."

Daryl turns around to look at Glenn.  He stares for a moment then he slowly starts to nod.  "It's a good school."

"No!  I don't want to go.  But...they'll cut me off if I don't."

Daryl is quiet, like he's thinking it over.  "Can you get a student loan or scholarship or something?"

"I don't know.  I haven't even started looking into it.  They just told me last night."

Daryl nods again like he gets it.  Like he gets that Glenn is upset he might have to transfer schools.  But he doesn't get it.  Glenn is upset he'll have to leave his friends.  He'll have to leave Daryl.

"So, they'll pay fer school if you move?"

"Yeah."

"And you're considering dropping out to stay here?"

"...I don't know."  Glenn stops to think about it, whether or not he’d really drop out of school.  Daryl interrupts his thoughts.

"I ain't paying the tuition here, but I know this is an expensive school.  Even if you could get a loan, you sure you'd want to start off your life that far in the hole?  Seems like you'd be making things harder than they need to be."

He says it so matter-of-factly, Glenn almost feels like last night didn't happen.  Like Daryl doesn't care if Glenn stays or goes.  Actually, it sounds like he thinks Glenn should leave.

He tries not to let the sadness of that thought drown out what he knows could happen.

"I don't want to leave.  I'm happy here.  I think..."

They're staring at each other and Glenn can hear himself breathing.  He feels his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest.  All the things he thought about saying to Daryl escape him now.  He does remember Shane's advice so he takes a step forward and sees Daryl flinch so he stops, but he isn't deterred.  He just needs to give him time to adjust.  Daryl's eyes come back up to meet his and he takes that as an okay so he takes another step forward.  They were pretty close, both standing in the narrow space between the doorway, the closet and the sink so these two steps bring them face to face.  There really is no mistaking his intentions, Glenn thinks.  He swears he can see Daryl's hands trembling and even though he's turned his face away, Glenn knows his attention is on him.  He's close enough to put his hand on Daryl's shoulder so he does.  Daryl's body goes rigid.  He doesn’t flinch but the tense energy he feels coiled under Daryl’s skin make him think he might run away.  He has to say something now, or the moment will be over.

Glenn takes a deep breath.  "I think there's stuff here that I'd miss out on if I left."

Daryl finches again, but his eyes flick up to meet Glenn's.

He thinks about sliding his hand to the back of Daryl's neck, like Shane had done, but that might be too forward.  Like, definitely leading to a kiss, forward.  So he squeezes, like Shane had done.

"I want to stay because... I want to see if...there's any chance-"  His words stick in his throat.  Glenn has his hand on Daryl's shoulder and he inches forward until their feet are slotted together, so their bodies are close but not touching anywhere except where his hand grips Daryl’s shoulder.  Glenn is in Daryl's breathing space and he can see up close how blue his eyes are.  Those blue eyes slide down to look at his mouth and he knows that's a signal.  That's a fucking signal, right?

Aw, fuck it.  He leans forward, fully expecting a hard shove on his chest, or a fist to his face.  When neither come, he closes his eyes and goes for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH
> 
>  
> 
> posted: 2/26/16


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